Someone in my team just got engaged!!! Man I'm jealous!

jackieblack

Lagoon wrote: »

Indeed, but neither do rings. A £20 ring will do for the engagement.

I agree

Lagoon wrote: »

If 'hubby' can't afford that, then a wedding probably isn't something he's comfortable committing to right now.

Not my experience.
My DH was out of work when we met, he couldn't afford to buy me a ring but it didn't prevent him wanting & committing to being married (and we will have our 22nd wedding anniversary in a couple of months )
Affording our small, intimate wedding was more important than buying a ring.

Lagoon

jackieblack wrote: »

I agree

Not my experience.
My DH was out of work when we met, he couldn't afford to buy me a ring but it didn't prevent him wanting & committing to being married (and we will have our 22nd wedding anniversary in a couple of months )
Affording our small, intimate wedding was more important than buying a ring.

I agree with you completely, too, which is why I also said that a ring wasn't an essential part of the engagement.

There are various options for the OP and her partner, but the OP seems to be interested in getting a 'rock' on her finger because all of her friends have them, and I'd imagine that if she's not already made it clear to her partner the 'standard' of ring she expects then he'll have realised anyway, or will at least be worrying about it if he's considered proposing.

OP hasn't yet responded, but I think if it's the engagement she wants then it could be a good time to speak up to her 'hubby' and tell him that her priority isn't the ring, or to be the one to propose. Still, I don't think that's the case with this one.

jackieblack

Lagoon wrote: »

I agree with you completely, too, which is why I also said that a ring wasn't an essential part of the engagement..

Maybe I mis-understood, I thought you were saying that if/because 'hubby' can't afford a ring, it follows that he probably isn't comfortable committing to getting married.
Which might be true for some, but wasn't my experience

Lagoon wrote: »

There are various options for the OP and her partner, but the OP seems to be interested in getting a 'rock' on her finger because all of her friends have them, and I'd imagine that if she's not already made it clear to her partner the 'standard' of ring she expects then he'll have realised anyway, or will at least be worrying about it if he's considered proposing.

OP hasn't yet responded, but I think if it's the engagement she wants then it could be a good time to speak up to her 'hubby' and tell him that her priority isn't the ring, or to be the one to propose. Still, I don't think that's the case with this one.

Oh, I agree

Takeaway_Addict

Percy1983 wrote: »

Might not get the flashy ring that way.

because that's what matters in marriage

securityguy

Takeaway_Addict wrote: »

because that's what matters in marriage

It would appear that to some people, the ring and the expensive (and generally in shockingly poor taste) flashy wedding are the marriage.

Georgiegirl256

Sorry, but I'm confused too? He's not your husband but you call him hubby? What is it you're after, the marriage or the blingy ring? If its just the latter, then I'm sorry, but that is so shallow....

I love my engagement ring, but I don't really like wearing jewellery, so I hardly ever wear it. I'm wearing my wedding band, but I don't know if that'll always be the case, it already feels alien on my finger. My husband has already took his off and just wears it now and again. After all, we didn't get married just to get some fancy rings.

Janepig

I'm married but I never got an engagement ring - ever the romantic, after we moved in together DH sort of went "shall we get married then" and that was that :D. All very low key (although still not low key enough for me). I don't wear my wedding ring, or my eternity ring that DH bought me afew years ago to make up for the lack of engagement ring . I'm not used to wearing rings, or jewellery in general, other than earrings, so I couldn't care less. There's alot of things I'd rather spend alot of money on rather than a bit of bling.

Jx

valk_scot

Twenty years married, three kids, one mortgage...no sign of an engagement ring yet though! Actually he did ask me at the time he proposed if I minded not getting a ring straight away, that was when the mortgage rate was running at 16% and we could barely afford to eat. We had a really quiet registry office wedding and the low key honeymoon was a present from my in-laws, I made my own dress. Still, it's turned out well enough. I'd have hated OH to think he couldn't ask me to marry him without having a ring worth several mortgage repayments in his pocket!

ETA: I do actually own a stonking great diamond ring now, it was left to me by a relative. It's a fabby bit of bling but I'm not much of a one for wearing fancy jewelry, I wear the silver earrings that came with the ring a lot more. However it will do for a DIL one day, if I ever get one. (And I approve of her....;) )

Tropez

sterl1ng wrote: »

Has anyone else felt like this?

Nope, generally my first thought when I hear a colleague is getting engaged is a Victor Meldrew-style inner moan hoping I'm not invited to the wedding.

sterl1ng

sorry sorry I meant my BF, most times I call him hubby (perhaps wishful thinking!). HOnestly I'm not interested in a rock as quite frankly something so expensive on my finger would be dangerous, especially in London! Something simple really plus a very very low key wedding as I'm not into the big thing in all honesty!