I finally did it

busiscoming2

I understand you both have debts and obviously it would depend on how big your mortgage is, value of the property and how long until it is possibly going to be in plus equity, but have you both thought about coming to an agreement with the mortgage lender and handing the house back?

troubleinparadise

OP is the one who has called time on the relationship - and is now calling the shots about living together under the one roof.

I suspect "OH" is finding it difficult as the rejected one in the relationship, but still having to live with and see the person daily that doesn't want them... I think I'd find that difficult, however pragmatic the solution regarding finances and being able to afford alternative accommodation!

cte1111

Is going bankrupt an option?

BitterAndTwisted

"Handing the house back" is not gong to be an option. Not when they don't have savings to cover the negative equity, and most especially if they have huge debts on top.

It's unfortunate when a relationship ends, and doubly unfortunate when the two can't part. I suspect the OP may have given this some thought before they broke the unwelcome news to their partner.

Brighton_belle

dontknowwhattodo2 wrote: »

Much as I would prefer to be the one who stays, I think I'll have to go. I wanted us to be friends and to get on. Clearly OH has other ideas on the matter.

I think that was probably very unrealistic, to expect your OH to go from being married to you to 'just friends living under the same roof'. They're the one who is feeling rejected (I appreciate you aren't feeling great about it either), so seeing you every day must be very painful.
For them to then lose their home while you stay in it is a quite a leap emotionally for them, even though on paper, that does seem the best option.
If they are making threats about repossession, I think you need to stay put though:(

tayforth

I agree that you should stay put. I can't offer any advice about how to handle your OH in this situation, but if they're not bothered about the house being repossessed, that's worrying for you. To leave would be a huge risk.