I finally did it

Person_one

CH27 wrote: »

You need to change your mindset from couple to housemates.

Sort out the bill splits & stick to it.
Negotiate bathroom & kitchen use times. Don't touch his stuff.

Don't nag him, just be polite & distant.

As in their previous thread, the OP has been very careful not to specify the genders of the people involved.

CH27

Person_one wrote: »

As in their previous thread, the OP has been very careful not to specify the genders of the people involved.

Oops!
That will teach me to ty to do three things at once

coolcait

dontknowwhattodo2 wrote: »

Unfortunately, OH is stubborn. They won't move out to rented and let me get a lodger and my debt is too much per month to move out. I've already thought of that

Time to negotiate.

One of you has to move out, so that a lodger can move in.

The one who moves out gets the 'rental' paid by the lodger. And uses that to pay the rental on their own place.

The one who stays shares with the lodger.

The lodger is chosen by a neutral third party - or by the usual checks which would be made by anyone who is taking in/on a lodger. No room for personal quirks of taste.

Your OH can then decide whether he/she is more comfortable sharing with a stranger, or moving out.

If debt is holding you back from 'moving on', I can only reiterate the advice you've already been given - the Debtfree Wannabe board is a mine of useful information and generous support.

coolcait

Person_one wrote: »

As in their previous thread, the OP has been very careful not to specify the genders of the people involved.

Very careful.

dontknowwhattodo2

Thanks for all the advice

At the minute OH is trying everything possible to make it awkward for me to live here. Tonight we got into an argument and I was threatened with an injunction to get NE out of the house... Then 10 minutes later they were being fine with me. It's doing my head in.

So far we've managed to agree who pays for what. Basically, because I earn more and I have most of the debt, we've ended up paying for our own debts and splitting the household bills. So far this appears to be working.

We both get paid this week so I'm going to sit down and draft a plan to speed up the debt recovery in the hope that OH will agree to it, or at least be receptive to it.

This is so tiring for me. I'm very much regretting being so stupid as to get so much debt.

And I didn't win the EuroMillions :-/

dontknowwhattodo2

Ok, so in new developments, OH has decided that I have to leave. They can't live with me any longer.

If I leave, what are my rights? I know I have to keep paying half of the mortgage, I get that, but what about costs relating to the house? Do I have to provide money every month to help the running of the house?

BTW, there's no kids involved here

Claree__x

dontknowwhattodo2 wrote: »

Ok, so in new developments, OH has decided that I have to leave. They can't live with me any longer.

If I leave, what are my rights? I know I have to keep paying half of the mortgage, I get that, but what about costs relating to the house? Do I have to provide money every month to help the running of the house?

BTW, there's no kids involved here

If they can't live with you, why do you have to leave? You mentioned previously that you can't afford to as you have the higher debt. I would be suggesting to OH that if they have a problem then they know where the door is.

If you're not married then I believe you're only jointly liable for any debt in joint names or your own name - ie. the mortgage/joint accounts. As an aside, if you do have a joint account I'd shut it down asap.

Any

dontknowwhattodo2 wrote: »

Ok, so in new developments, OH has decided that I have to leave. They can't live with me any longer.

If I leave, what are my rights? I know I have to keep paying half of the mortgage, I get that, but what about costs relating to the house? Do I have to provide money every month to help the running of the house?

BTW, there's no kids involved here

THEY have decided they you cannot live in YOUR house?
Tell them to bu**** off.

After things calmed down suggest the lodger route as per Coolcat's advice. If they think it is so hard to live with you, they will agree.

bagginslover

Claree__x wrote: »

If they can't live with you, why do you have to leave? You mentioned previously that you can't afford to as you have the higher debt. I would be suggesting to OH that if they have a problem then they know where the door is.

If you're not married then I believe you're only jointly liable for any debt in joint names or your own name - ie. the mortgage/joint accounts. As an aside, if you do have a joint account I'd shut it down asap.

I agree with this, if they cannot live with you as things stand, they should be the one to be looking for alternative accomadation, not you. However, if you have offered to be the one to move out, thats your decision, and a noble one. Just be sure that any money paid for the mortgage IS going to the mortage company, you might even be able to set it up with the company that you each pay you half direct to them rather than one of you paying the other (the mortgage company probably doesn't have to allow this, but might if you explain the circumstances). The ideal situation would be for one or the other of you to buy the other out, though from reading you other posts, I do realise this will be very difficult to do.

suze200

Re mortgage. If it is a joint mortgage you are both responsible for all the debt. So if one party pays the other half the mortgage payment and this doesn't get paid to the mortgage company (or none of it gets paid because the receiving party decides not to pay their half either), the mortgage company will still chase the both of you for the missing payments.