Bay 3 months chucked into FULL time nursery

moneysaymoneydo

Ok you lost me at the cut n blow dry moment

GobbledyGook

You can't win when you have children. When I worked (9-3 then 9-1 term time) I was asked why I bothered having children and the likes when I was leaving them in nursery or with a nanny. Then I took a year off after getting divorced and I received umpteen snidey comments from people about their taxes paying for me to sit at home all day and I was also told i was setting a bad example as kids need to see a work ethic. Now I'm at uni and I've abandoned them again....

It's the same as being a wife/partner of someone who earns enough to keep us all. I'm crazy if I do work and lazy if I don't.

thorsoak

You forget that until the 1960s, women did not have the luxury of being able to have a sexual relationship without the risk of pregnancy - condoms and caps are not 100% reliable! Children that were not necessarily planned came into relationships that might not have been permanent, or that might not be as financially viable as might be desired. Your mothers and grandmothers would have to make do as best they could, with or without a partner. So many mothers did not have the luxury of being able to chose whether they could afford to work or not. The moral mores of the day frowned upon single mothers and benefits were not what they are now.

You young women of the 21st century - be grateful that you do, at least, have the right to chose whether to have a child or not, to work or not. It isn't easy, is it?

j.e.j.

Person_one wrote: »

See, you say one parent, but really you mean the mother. All this pressure, all this criticism, all this interference falls on the female parent and hardly ever the male.

Is it any wonder fewer of us are choosing to go down this road at all? Its a complete minefield, whatever you do somebody will call you selfish for it.

There are plenty of women having babies, I don't think the human race is about to die out just yet I agree there's always some pokey-nose telling women what to do, but that doesn't just apply to mothers who go out to work. That's just society's ingrained attitude that women need to be told what to do, whereas men can make their own decisions. It's irritating, but that's the way it is..

I just find it curious sometimes, our society and its values. If you had a dog and slung it in the kennels week in week out, people would ask you, rightly, why you bother having a pet. But if you have a baby and (to coin the OP's phrase) "chuck it in the nursery" while you get on with the more important things in life, that's somehow ok?! :undecided

Person_one

There's emerging evidence that dogs and babies are different.

Nobody gives up work to look after a dog, but they don't put them in kennels every day either, because there's no need. However you can't leave a baby in the house on its own with the radio on for company and a chew toy to keep it busy. You're not really making a sensible point there.

The human race isn't dying out, but its a fact that fewer woman are choosing to have children: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/8191859/One-in-five-women-is-childless-by-age-of-45.html

Pollycat

Person_one wrote: »

There's emerging evidence that dogs and babies are different.

You're right.
If your dog gets pregnant, you can sell the babies. :rotfl:

j.e.j.

Yes, they're different, though some dogs do howl and bark when they're left alone! Your pet pooch is not quite as helpless as a young baby in a nursery. At least the dog can bite if it gets threatened or hurt! Until the child can speak, you'll have no idea what happens to it during the day if you're not there.

Women are delaying motherhood until their 40s because of social pressures. They 'have' to have a career these days. Well, being a mum isn't what you go to university for, is it? Being a mum isn't going to pay off your student loan. I do think in a lot of ways our norms and values are absurd.

Person_one

j.e.j. wrote: »

Women are delaying motherhood until their 40s because of social pressures. They 'have' to have a career these days. Well, being a mum isn't what you go to university for, is it? Being a mum isn't going to pay off your student loan. I do think in a lot of ways our norms and values are absurd.

Oh, you've spoken to all of them have you? That's not why I'm choosing not to have children. I love my job but I'm staying childfree because being a mother with all the hard work, pressure and judgement that comes with it does not remotely appeal. If I had the option of being a father, I think I'd much prefer that!

I'm guessing you chose to be a more traditional mum, and either didn't work or worked part time? There's nothing wrong with that, that was right for you and your family, great, I hope you're all happy and healthy.

You really really need to accept though that other women are allowed to make different choices, and that they aren't wrong, or worse than yours, they don't love their children less, and they aren't somehow criticising your decision just by the act of making a different one.

Do you think men ever b!tch about how devoted or not other dads are?

j.e.j.

Person_one wrote: »

Oh, you've spoken to all of them have you? That's not why I'm choosing not to have children. I love my job but I'm staying childfree because being a mother with all the hard work, pressure and judgement that comes with it does not remotely appeal. If I had the option of being a father, I think I'd much prefer that!

I'm guessing you chose to be a more traditional mum, and either didn't work or worked part time? There's nothing wrong with that, that was right for you and your family, great, I hope you're all happy and healthy.

You really really need to accept though that other women are allowed to make different choices, and that they aren't wrong, or worse than yours, they don't love their children less, and they aren't somehow criticising your decision just by the act of making a different one.

Do you think men ever b!tch about how devoted or not other dads are?

I was only going by your link.

It's not the case that mothers who look after their children "don't work" btw. I am not a parent, but I know women who've got children do indeed work and they don't get to clock off at home-time, either.

I am not criticizing individuals for their choices they make. It's up to them. As someone wrote on here a few weeks ago, I am responsible for what I write, not for what other people read..;)

But on this thread there's been a lot of pressure to just go along with the majority and say it's the woman's right to have a career and that the OP is being sexist. I'm not going to say that, because I don't think it's true.

Person_one

j.e.j. wrote: »

I am not criticizing individuals for their choices they make. It's up to them.

say it's the woman's right to have a career and that the OP is being sexist. I'm not going to say that, because I don't think it's true.

Of course you are, no point denying it, its here for all to see.