The OS Doorstep - a helpful and supportive thread in these tough times

grandma247

fuddle wrote: »

I don't know how you guys do it but you've spoken to me and I actually get it. I'm supposed to owe mam for giving birth to me.
You did not have a choice in this

Is it ok to not feel like we owe our parents and be selfish in doing what we want with our lives?
There is no reason why this is selfish. You are a separate family unit.
If my girls want to move away, go to university, travel and experience then they are going even though I will miss them. I don't want my kids to live their life to please me... they must grow and flourish and find their own niche in life. But do I think this because I have had the opposite or is flourishing independent children the norm?
The best gift you can give your children is the ability and skills to stand on their own two feet.




When I left the South twenty years ago I left a twenty year old newly married son and a 17 year old daughter who did not want to move with us as she had a job,friends and lodgings. I cried all the way to Lancashire (very quietly because of the younger ones in the car.) They were fine and I see them regularly now because they moved up here eventually.

fuddle

Thanks you've helped me today. The invitation is there. If she takes it it's up to her so no more questioning myself or getting into discussions apportioning blame etc. When/if the call comes to meet her at a station we'll be there with smiles on our faces. It's all I can do.

Ok, sorry. A wee blip there but service resumed as normal

That means a question then eh?

Long armed windows cleaners? Not the human varieties but those on a telescopic rod that will reach to upstairs windows while I stand in the ground. Any good? Any brand that gets a vote? Upstairs windows are filthy and can't wait for a window cleaner any longer!

ArthriticOldThing

Happy birthday MrsLW. :bdaycake:


fuddle you have the right to put your OH and family first, it is not being selfish. Hope you can stay strong. (((hugs)))


Re the benefits system and Job Centres, I have a friend who worked for the DWP for over 20 years but had to leave in 2012 as could not stand the 'new' ways of doing things and just hated the nasty/vicious way people were being treated.:eek::eek::eek:


SQ hope you are feeling a little with yourself better today.


Well I managed to get rid of the cardboard mountain. A friend took me to the local tip - we had completely filled her little car with rubbish - and then out for Sunday roast. Very nice. And its such a wonderful feeling to be able to walk into spare room and touch the opposite wall. :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl: Still plenty of decluttering to do but at least some progress has been made.

moments_of_sanity

Fuddle - I always read this thread but very rarely post but just felt I had to say you are in no way being selfish. My eldest DD wants to be a vet and eventually work in either America or Australia and whilst I know I will miss her terribly I am so excited that she has these dreams and is working towards making them a reality.

My children will always be my children no matter where they are in the world and we have a wonderful relationship even though she is 18 (difficult age, aren't they all). DD is currently suffering from very large ovarian cysts and has already had one on her right oviary removed 3 months ago, she now has another one on the left oviary which is currently 5.8cms big and they suspect she has another growing on the right hand side so it may mean she looses both of her ovaries by the time she is 19 and yesterday we were discussing her potentially not being able to have children and she said to me 'Mum, I would only ever want children if I could guarantee we would get along as well as you and me do', praise indeed I think.

Right, off to scout the internet for more fertility places that may offer DD egg harvesting and storing incase she looses both ovaries.

mcculloch29

I am sharing Monnagran's story of the especially stupid benefits sanctions and the horrific treatment of the lady with terminal cancer as widely as I can. Macmillan are fantastic, they really helped my sister when she was so frightened after her diagnosis. Please get them aware.

Please, friends, do be aware that the statistics for benefit fraud are far lower than the Government and certain newspapers would have you believe. Whilst you may say that you know of people claiming fraudulently, someone appearing to be in good physical health may rightfully be claiming benefits for a mental health condition.

Liverpool Council is reporting David Cameron to the UN for human rights violations on the issue of benefits sanctions.

And now the good news...
I've just had a letter saying I've won a bunch of flowers in a competition, and the same post had a £3 Luncheon Voucher from a survey. My daughter just rang and we had a good chin-wag for an hour. I'd better do some work!

kidcat

Happy birthday mrslw

Mcculloch I was going to share the Liverpool story as someone had payed it on my wall. I agree the appalling way benefits claimants are treated is beyond comprehension. It's degrading and De humanising which I think it's the true reason. As for benefit fraud is miniscule numbers and they are never the people caught in this new system. I know of two such families neither had any issues at all.

ginnyknit

Sending hugs to Cornish, not much we can say to you but we are all here if you need us xxxx

Mrs LW have a lovely day what ever you choose to do, you are fab xx

Fuddle, you are doing so well but I did expect a blib caused by the family however in true fuddly style you have got it off your chest and moved on - well done hunny.

Monna you go give them hell at the offices, its truly inhuman what they do as I well know. And thank you on others behalf x

Sq take it easy my dear, none of us are perfect and we all try too hard. just do a little at a time without running yourself into the ground. Im just looking at the bin in the living room and need to drag my sorry carcas up to empty it before it annoys me any more oh god then theres tea to attack.....and washing piled up.... bu**er it ......

shegar

Happy birthday to our LYN , thats all ive got time for now , will catch up later.....xx...Sheila

mcculloch29

I forgot to say Happy Birthday to Mrs LW ! :bdaycake: Many happy greetings!
Isn't it appropriate that someone who brings such positivity and encouragement to those carrying burdens on here should have a birthday on 'Blue Monday?'

Hugs to you CornishChick, you have been in my thoughts.

Also Fuddle, I've done Darlo-Cardiff return on National Coaches quite a few times , absolute breeze.
I switched to using them some years ago after literally every other journey on the train was beset with problems, though trains are more reliable now, if you believe statistics.

I changed buses in Birmingham, with never more than an hour's wait - the journey was around 6-7 hours, comparing quite well with 4 and a half hours by car (This without stops, DS driving, legs crossed for last half - hour ) As others have said, the coaches are very comfortable.

Pooky

Happy birthday Mrs LW - hope you're having a fab day.

Cornish - hugs, we're here x

Fuddle - glad you can see past the emotional blackmail stuff.

SQ - I feel your pain, my house really needs a routine. I used to have one when DH was at work but now the day is determined by the amount of sleep we've had/not had and how DH is feeling. If its a good day then I should get on with housework but we tend to go out to make the most of the good day. If its a bad day and we're stuck at home I feel like I'm chasing my tail and go round in circles. I'm concentrating on keeping the living room tidy and giving the loos a quick swish. The washing is done daily (at least one load) and I'm not walking up the stairs to bed until the kitchen is tidy....so much nicer to come down to a clean and tidy kitchen.

Stuck in tomorrow as we need our windscreen replacing thanks to a stone chip that has cracked. I shall pledge to Hoover under the beds whilst the glass man does his stuff