The OS Doorstep - a helpful and supportive thread in these tough times

SpikyHedgehog

ivyleaf wrote: »

(((HUGS))) Spiky, it sounds as though he's very hard work though of course he can't help it x....

He can be so sweet and loving - this evening he wanted to watch the simpsons sitting on my lap to get extra cuddles - not easy when I'm 5ft 2 and he's a solid lad! He grumped at me the other day when I said something about giving a child at preschool a hug - apparently, I'm only allowed to hug him!

And at other times, he can be very angry.

It was his school Christmas celebration last night, which opened with some innocent looking boy singing the first verse of Once in Royal David's City as a solo - he knew he was going to do the solo, but hadn't realised that meant he'd be the first 'performer'. He managed to be polite when the headteacher and vicar congratulated him afterwards, was a bit grumpy with a girl from Yr 8 saying he 'wished everyone would stop congratulating him', and hung up on Errant Husband tonight when EH phoned to say goodnight and started by telling him how well he'd sung last night!

Mind you, EH had managed to set himself up for that as he was meant to phone DS at 9 last night and forgot as he went to get some food for himself, the girlfriend and her DD, and left his phone in the car while DS2 was trying to phone him to say 'We're home now dad, please phone me'. So then EH phoned at half ten and was disappointed DS was asleep!

camelot1001 wrote: »

If only! It is just ordinary oak flooring but it is now in the house so that's a huge start! When we moved here last year I wanted carpets in all the bedrooms for warmth, etc. I have only had one bedroom carpeted and wish I hadn't done it! I hadn't realised that you can't move furniture easily to clean, etc. DD had a wooden floor in her room and it looks lovely and is quite warm. I think the other house we were in was just too old, cold and draughty. I think downstairs will have wood too when I get around to doing it....

Lol, my rational side did think the ancient oak boards were unlikely:D I wanted hard flooring throughout the house when we moved here as the boys and I all have asthma and it would make it easier to keep dust down with giving it less hiding places EH wanted carpet as it would be warmer, and it is warm, but I'll be swapping for hard flooring as we change flooring in rooms. Next door have laminate everywhere except the stairs and it is noisy though.

savingqueen wrote: »

....My brain froze at the cashpoint and I entered 2 different wrong pins before suddenly remembering the one I have been using for ages. realised afterwards that the wrong pins were previous ones. Good job Christmas only comes once a year eh folks?

I have a credit card as well as debit card (though am very happy to say when I use it I do get it all paid off that month so don't owe on it - that's taken work to make sure that's the case ) and they were both renewed this Autumn - the old cards were different colours to each other but the new ones are the same colours so I have put the wrong pin in several times. Neither of them use the pin for the securtity alarm at work that I tried putting in the other day though! :rotfl:

chickens11 wrote: »

....
Ive not put tree up and I dont think I will , I cant be dealing with it all , just be glad to see the new year here , I just want to feel well,, sorry im a bit down but the past 9 days have been hell for me , and I cant seem to accept ive got heart probs on top of everything else.......Cant wait for the new year to get here.......Sheila

((Sheila)) there's no law that says you need a tree , just take care of yourself and put up cards if you want to.

stiltwalker wrote: »

....Well DD's spots are finally looking a little less cross and starting to scab over so hoping we should be ok by the weekend meaning she can still go to her party and stay and play next week.


Hubby got his essay in (all be it with a few days extension) and mine went in this evening (a whole 12 hours early!! whoop woo).....

Well done to you both on the essays being in, and yay for spots scabbing up!

fuddle wrote: »

Thank you so much for the positive words about my promotion.

Youngest DD is booked into breakfast club and eldest can be dropped off in the yard on the way to work. My commute will be 7 minutes. It's unclear, and won't be clear until tomorrow, if I can work a 6 hour day instead of 8 so I can do the school run and after school care of the girls, or whether I will have to pay a lot of money for a child minder. There were hints about reduced hours so we'll just see how it plays out. Either way I will seek to solve the problem. I won't have to pay for childcare for eternity.....

My friend works her hours so she manages to do less days working in the school holidays - she still needs childcare afterschool and in the holidays but it works out cheaper for her doing it like that as well as meaning she gets set days off with her DS. And congratualtions!! :beer:

kidcat wrote: »

Thank you all for your kind thoughts and messages. I am a little brighter today having got an awful lot of big jobs out of the way and accepted that this year I have failed and arranged to buy Christmas cake and pudding instead of making my own.

OH has been away all week, and I have had to arrange hotels etc for him all over the country. I broke down at the weekend and couldn't stop sobbing. I have told OH that I can't do this all alone any more, and that I have failed. He has agreed to look for a new job with regular hours in the new year. I had a panic attack whole shopping the other day so I know I am in a bad place.
I do have some good news though, in that one of my jobs this week was delivering all our unwanted cat food to the local shelter, while there a kitten shouted to me across the place, I had a chat with the staff and having chatted with OH (in Glasgow) he agreed we could give her a home so I am collecting her tomorrow. The kids will be thrilled and I think she will provide a lovely distraction for me. Perfect timing really as the kids finish school tomorrow so can all spend time helping kitty settle in....

((((kidcat)))) I'm glad you've accepted you can't do everything and have bought the cake and pudding, but as others have already said, not cooking everything yourself is not failing! You do need to take care of yourself.

ginnyknit

Kidcat, you work so hard and are there for everyone, its time someone was there for you. ayour children could do some small jobs for you while they are off and if they dont do them perfectly well s*d it.

You once offered to come down and sit with me whilst hubby was in surgery - such kindness and I just wish I could come down and cook your Christmas dinner for you all while you sit with your feet up. Frozen veg, frozen roasties, packet stuffing and instant gravy will taste good to hungry kids and man - give it a go :santa2:
Sheila, hope you get used to the beta blockers and find your health improving soon. x

wondercollie

Kidcat, listen to the advice and act on it. You might find out that starting new traditions for Christmas might be what you need. That's how memories are made.


Well, I didn't get the job. In fact I've had a horrible time since the interview. My employer has a policy of keeping nurses in the workforce if they are injured and require light duties or if they are recovering addicts. Well, the unit I applied to is considered a "light duty unit with a requirement to hire staff that fit the need to be accommodated". I lost the job to a nurse who has been in our system less than two years and has a license that is restricted due to issues with narcotics. It's on the public register of nurses for all the world to see. So my seniority doesn't count, my experience doesn't count, being asked to apply for the job by the head nurse doesn't count. I'm still licking my wounds. I found out Tuesday. Several of my coworkers are glad I didn't get it and want me to stay, so I must be allright to work with.


Husband is in the dog house, big time. He went out to test drive a new pickup truck (which he doesn't need). Well he bought it. No consultation with me, just traded in his fully paid for three year old one and happily announced he only owes $20K on it. I had a major meltdown and said many things that needed to be said.


Then on Sunday morning one of the most disagreeable women I have ever had the thrill of working with made me her target. In front of two shifts. People just stood open mouthed as she ranted on. She's been doing this for years and has always gotten away with it. What was my crime? I asked to keep the same patient assignment, which was the heaviest on the unit. I'd been looking after the patients in one room and it was difficult because one was a GSW with a couple of dressing changes and the other patient is bed ridden, incontinent, basically total care and lots of busy work. I clicked with these men and had everything working like clockwork and the old one had gotten comfortable with me looking after him. The nurse who made the duty list thought she'd give me a break and an easier room but was OK with me keeping them. She was floored as well when the other one got all mouthy about it.


Long story short, my employer has posters up telling that bullying, harassment, intimidation, etc is not to be tolerated but reported. So, I reported it and asked on the computer form to have it forwarded to HR as well. My manager heard about it from multiple people who witnessed it and a patient's mother who heard it. She actually thanked me for putting the complaint in because the nurse who did it has been a thorn in everyone's side and the others she's done it to are too afraid of rocking the boat and reporting it.


I know she's being seen by senior management today.


So, the husband is trying to make nice to me. The person who couldn't hire me apologized and has told me he wants me on his unit. My manager is looking after me all of a sudden and telling me I'm a good nurse.


I just want to sit in a corner and cry.


But Christmas is approaching and I need to buy mincemeat tarts because life is too short to make them. I've started wrapping the presents, I'm trying to get festive. I really am.


This isn't a pity party, it's just an explanation.

burtha

Hi all,
Kidcat, try and stop for a minute and think of all you have done ,not what you think you need to do ,I remember when my 2 youngest were baby's it was a major achievement to get them both clean,dressed and out the house by 10 am ,never mind anything else .
So this year I am just grateful that we are all still here, haven't made or bought a cake yet will get round to it before Christmas eve ...maybe .....no pud cause no one likes it :j and I haven't even put the tree up yet ....:D:eek: none of it really matters ,my eldest kids are not scared for life because of the way I brought them up ,they make there own choices ..
So I have 11 for xmas dinner and 15 for tea ....dh will be at work Xmas day till about 12 30 lunchtime ,then the madness will commence ....
Please be kind to yourself xx

Knit_Witch

just sending huggles wondercollie

Softstuff

wondercollie wrote: »

I just want to sit in a corner and cry.


But Christmas is approaching and I need to buy mincemeat tarts because life is too short to make them. I've started wrapping the presents, I'm trying to get festive. I really am.


This isn't a pity party, it's just an explanation.

Aww, Wondercollie have a hug and a virtual glass of homemade baileys. Your husband now knows he did wrong, as does the manager of the unit (I think he may yet really regret his hiring decision) and the bully will get what for. I'm sure it'll come good for you too.

nursemaggie

Wondercollie I think some time early next year you will end up with a better job. You bullie had the face of a ward sister from my student days who used to make my best friend and I lift patients together.

My friend was 6ft 1in and I was 4ft 11in. If that sister is still alive, she will be in her late 80s, I hope she has as bad back as we both do. There was no health and safety then and she hadn't the sense to see what it did to our backs. I did enjoy putting her face on your bullie and watching everyone elses reaction to her.

.I am sure you husband has learned his lesson. It was an expensive one.

SpikyHedgehog

(Wondercollie) it sounds like everything is hitting you at once! & gosh, that's an 'interesting' hiring policy!

I'm making mushroom risotto, at quarter to seven in the morning. It's the last day of term, & the girls at work want to have a 'nice' lunch (in the 40 minutes between the children going home from morning sessions, & coming in for afternoon sessions & while helping the children who stay for lunch club), which means k f c for a majority. To which I say 'yuck!', or a more polite at work 'well, being vegetarian, there's not much choice for me, & I don't like skinny fries...' So I'm bringing mushroom risotto, which really is a treat as DS2 won't eat it, & DS1 hasn't been in for dinner anytime DS2 hasn't for so long that I can't remember last time I made it. Think I'll suggest we all do a bring & share lunch next term.

I had my hair cut the other week - the hairdresser said 'I'll have to charge for £27 for a restyle instead of £18 for a trim - is that all right?' Blooming Hairdressers these days :-D couldn't she see it was a slightly overgrown bob? It's only been 2 years since it was last done :-D ! (I said that was fine, thinking, 'sweetie, I've walked in off the street to see if I can get it done, you've fitted me in now & taken you're time & done lots to it, & £27 every 18-24 months really is much cheaper than £18 every month!) Since it's shorter, it's much easier to roll it up into a victory roll style that I like, & goes better if I curl it in curling pins each night. so much easier than when I washed my hair the other morning & just dried it straight, someone who I've worked with for 18 months thought I'd straightened it as she thought the curls were natural :-D!

mardatha

Wondercollie - I've had many similar explosions. With fireworks. And looking back, these epsidoes always ended in something better for me. Karma works in mysterious ways lol !

ginnyknit

Wondercollie, well done for standing up for yourself. I always think that if you do something the next person will be treated better, if you do nothing and it carries on someone could end up being ill through the bullying. As for hubby well a good thwack with a frying pan comes to mind :eek:
Im a great believer in Karma too.