The OS Doorstep - a helpful and supportive thread in these tough times

Pooky

Greywitch - It's ESA (Employment support allowance) that you need to claim for when someone can't work due to medical issues. There's 2 different types, one is income related (if you haven't paid enough NI to qualify) and the other is contributions based (when you have paid enough in). Have a look on the direct.gov page and you should be able to find out how to claim.


CC - come and do my housework too if you like - it's always more fun in someone elses house....honest!

cornishchick

Grey witch , also contact the CAB, they are really helpful. The benefits agency are not encouraged to tell you what you are entitled too. Only what your not. Keep posting and reading, there are amazingly helpfull peeps on here. They can make a feast from a tin of lentils .

Pooky, deal, as long as you come do mine, and I only work in five minute bursts and 3 of them is planing what to do next .

Rosanna79

So sorry to hear so many of you are currently sick but also overwhelmed by your bravery. Hugs to you all.


I cannot imagine what a head banger all this applying for secondary schools must be like. It does seem like life is so much harder for young people these days and at an increasingly early age? My friend's son graduated with a first class degree in biochemistry and has tried to no avail for 2 years to find work. Thankfully he's now managed to secure funding for 4 year PhD course. One cannot help wondering though what will happen then. I remember PhD graduates driving buses when I was an undergrad at Leeds in the 1970s. Even then the world seemed mad.


Did anyone see or read a news item today on the increasing cost of children's education. especially things like ridiculously priced uniforms and computers which I understand are a necessity for homework these days? One child apparently whose family couldn't afford / didn't have a computer was obliged to say it out loud in front of the whole class and was laughed at / mocked by everyone including the teacher. I was appalled that such behaviour is still going on in the 21st century.


You see although I spent 30 years of my professional life working with families and children as a community, school nurse and health visitor I am not blessed with my own children. Yet somehow this item struck a chord with me back to my own working class upbringing and the constant pressure my family were under when I was at our local grammar school.


My mother, a rather terrifying north eastern lady was so protective of her children that she would steam into school / make an appointment as necessary but basically she ensured that no one teacher or pupil could bully me!!! As adults some of my acquaintance would say what a frightening person she'd seemed when we were kids! However I do recall seeing classmates being made an example of in front of everyone because their parents couldn't afford an item of uniform from the exclusive expensive local shop and had chosen a chain store alternative. When our senior mistress sent a snotty letter home over something we'd not be able to deal with- too short notice for the cookery class- she was given such a lambasting in the return letter she received she never dared to try anything like that for the rest of my school career!


How do parents manage nowadays though if they cannot afford these apparently necessary items? Only today OH was asking me and I really don't know the answer. Even with OS ways there must be a limit to what can be managed financially? What happens to your children if you can't afford every item of uniform or a laptop? It seems to me we're going back to the days of the great depression almost when boys in my mother's class at school had bare feet in the cold of northern winters.


I'd really like to know what the reality of this situation is and those of you who are parents are best able to tell me. I stand in awe of working mothers and have done so throughout my working life. What amazing people!

chickens11

Burtha....Yes thanks I did get your pm....I hope your DD get sorted pretty quick .....I cant understand you having to make an MRI appointment for yourself , at our hospital its usually a hospital dr that refers you to have the scan and you wait for it to come to you in the post , ive had several MRI s over the years and ive never had to phone for the appointment......
Cornishchick....That sounds lovely in a quiet peaceful place at garden centre eating a lovely british breakfast, a nice little treat for yourself.....

My friend is popping round tomorrow afternoon said she will take me out to nearest town in her mothers wheelchair because she needs to buy a new winter coat, thought that was lovely of her to offer , and ive accepted her kind offer, just nice sometimes to get out for couple hours and have a little shop.......By me not going out in the past 2 wks as saved me a bit of dosh , which will come in handy tomorrow.......

Foot is healing lovely im pleased to say , ive got no more shooting pains up the heal so id say the op is a success.......
Right soon be autumn watch coming on the tv, hugs to all the poorly folk on here , and others with worries too....Take care ...Sheila...

camelot1001

Evening everyone
It's been a lovely day here, even had some sunshine for a while. I put the washing out, it didn't dry very much but will smell much better. Sorry if you've had rain, makes a change for us to have a dry day.

Burtha, I am so sorry that your daughter has had a shocking diagnosis. Big hugs to you and her, I can't think of anything else to say except you have so much support on here, don't be afraid to accept any help you can use.

I unfortunately lost my DH 9 years ago and although I was well supported by 'real' friends it would have been lovely to voice my fears and worries on here.

I had my usual shower this morning, DD had a day off and when she went to have her shower the boiler needed re-setting again. It's a new system and this has been happening quite frequently. Phoned the gas fitter (again) and told him I had no heating or hot water. He phoned back and came out about 3.30. He's a lovely chap and I can't be annoyed at him even though he knew of the problem. He can't fix it so has contacted the maker of the boiler and they are coming out on Friday. As I can't take a day off work he's going to come and meet the guy here. Not bad service really!

Cornishchick, sounds like you had a lovely meal out, it can be quite frightening doing things on your own but quite liberating too. I remember going to the pictures on my own for the first time - I was quite embarrassed asking for a ticket but once I got in and realised that you don't actually talk to anyone when the film is on I quite enjoyed it. There were quite a few folk on their own too.

Well, that's Wednesday just about over, not long till the weekend. XX

nursemaggie

Not a lot I can add to what others have said to those with problems.

Greywitch I would recommend reading everything at the beginning of the grocery challenge. Tell your mortgage provider asap they may be able to help and they will not throw you out if things get any worse. Read lots of posts on all of the OS threads you will pick up a great deal there.

It seems to be the job of all people you claim any benefits from to keep you from drawing any benefits. They can get quite nasty too. I endorse seeing cab.

I think I have managed to motivate my DS to fight his sanction. He already has the forms to keep his housing benefit going. That is the one that worries me most because without it we are stuck as I only have a total of £150 for everything. I just cannot pay his half of the rent. I will struggle to feed him.

He has e-mailed his tutor who ran the course he was on. She gave them all her e-mail address for this reason apparently they do this nearly every time. He has proof he was on the course from 9am to 5.30pm all week and was 5 miles away from the job centre so could not get to them for his appointments.

We are still going to have to prove he made the phone call and have more than one proof of the course.

Yesterday I felt really down because when they do this it does not effect DS it is me who has the worry and difficultly in paying the bills. I feel much better now I feel I can have some control. We have a plan.

It so annoys me that the government say I have enough to live on because I do not have to keep someone else but at the same time they say my son does not need anything to live on because he lives at home and his mother can feed him. They cannot have both but they get away with it.

The younger ones among you this is what happens if you have a late baby. He was born when I was 48.

cornishchick

Well I've lost a post. But as it was me ranting about work,,it's proberbly for the best!

Camelot, it was just another one of those firsts I had to do. I'm glad it wasn't planned as i would have been over whelmed with sadness, instead it just happened naturally, and it wasn't untill I was sitting down to eat I thought about it, then I just imagined my late hubby smiling at me and calling me a " daft plum" for being emotional.

Nurse Maggie, it's awful that feeling of panic that over whelms you and you can't see a way forward. I'm glad you can now make a plan of action and feel in control .

Chickens , enjoy your shopping, make sure you make the shop assistants help as much as possible,
Burtha, just hugs x

well. Just eaten some marshmellows. . But only because I want the empty container,,, and can't have a glass of wine cos I'm on call so need to have a clear head and the ability to drive!!!!

Possession

Hope your eye consultation went well Ivyleaf.
Fingers crossed for your DS nursemaggie, and for you too Greywitch.
All the years this thread has been going and times are still just as tough eh?
Yesterday was a difficult day as I officially became redundant which seems hard to grasp after 19 years. I was rather grumpy I'm afraid but hopefully back to normal today.

ivyleaf

Thanks Possession My retinas are okay, thank goodness. The doc said I can't go on the waiting list to have my cataracts treated as they are "barely even there yet!" which is good in one way but a bit frustrating in another as I'm having so many problems with glare. Oh well. The clinic will monitor me next year.

Cornish chick Glad you enjoyed your garden centre breakfast and found some nice things to spend your voucher on I have a hellebore in my front garden which my lovely neighbour planted for me as a cutting earlier this year - she actually planted two, but forgot to tell me (we were away at the time) and we had pulled one of them up, thinking they were weeds, before she realised what we were doing

Sheila So pleased for you about your heel! hope the other one can be done soon. Great about your hearing aid too

Rosanna - was it you who "acquired" a cat you called "Henry the Hoover? I was wondering how he is.

Welcome Greywitch, (((HUGS))) to you, there is lots of support on here.

(((HUGS))) too to burtha and nursemaggie. And anyone I've missed who needs some!

I feel better today, thank goodness. I ended up so tired because I went to a nearby town by bus (the town near maryb, I suspect) to go to the Hotter shoe shop. I found some comfy shoes, :j but there are roadworks in the town centre which meant the usual bus stops were out of use, so I had to do rather more walking than I was expecting.

This morning I have an appointment with the chiropodist who treated my ingrown toenail, so I hope he'll agree it's all healed up nicely.

savingqueen

Morning luvvies

Cornish, well done for eating out on your own and the lovely food and surroundings were your reward.

Shegar, enjoy your trip out today... freedom for a couple of hours!

Greywitch, sorry I think I may have forgotten to welcome you - a big hello . Great you have coaxed your son into fighting his sanction, so very unfair and utterly ridiculous, impossible to be in 2 places at the same time. You will get lots of advice here and all over the boards. Sounds like you are in fighting mode too!

((((((((((Possession))))))) - today is a new day, deep breath and a big smile. You are so pro-active and you WILL come through this and be ok.

Hello Rosanna , have you popped in here before? I finally submitted the secondary school application late last night so will try and forget about it all for 4 months. yes many parents really struggle with school and other costs. We are luckier than many and I appreciate the fact that DH has a full-time and permanent job but I am finding it harder and harder to make ends meet and still have a decent quality of life, especially for the children. I haven't mentioned money much to them before - in terms of us not being able to afford some things but I am having to mention it regularly now. Many household bits are on their last legs and boys will say we need a new kettle for example (ours has a wobbly lid, ok as boys don't touch it) and I'll say we can't afford to replace it at the moment. Its becoming a family joke the amount of things that (ideally) need replacing or repairing. £10 the other day for a new can opener, most of the other stuff will have to wait. Sorry didn't mean to moan on.

Well DS10 finally has his new mattress and slept in this morning. His old one was shockingly uncomfortable, thin and hard and you could really feel the springs, poor lad. Boys helped daddy take it upstairs and bring the old one down. They slid the old one down the stairs and we all took turns to slide down it - all great until DS7 ended up with a carpet burn. Eeeek time to stop a slightly dangerous game! Mattress is currently in living room til it gets taken to the tip on Saturday - great for boys to bounce on (never got the chance before with bunk beds) and cats to sleep on but the two don't mix!

Errands to do today, DH's prescription, DS7 new trainers, both boys haircuts (cue DS10 groaning, he should be on the stage) and a few food bits like milk and a Halloween recipe boys want to make. Oh and I am to get a witch's hat from the £shop and a mask for DH for when we got trick and treating tomorrow!