The OS Doorstep - a helpful and supportive thread in these tough times

savingqueen

I don't usually stop for people begging and I know some of the regular local faces and there are certainly a couple who are blatantly on the cadge. This man didn't beg or even catch my eye, I went over to him because I could see the state of him. He didn't ask me for anything and I struck up a conversation. I knew he could be lying but I feel for someone who is either genuinely in the state he was in or someone who was prepared to maltreat themselves to such an extent ( I could see his skin, teeth, nails, frame etc) to pretend to be homeless for whatever money they got thrown. I lived in London previously and did some volunteering for Crisis and saw so many examples of genuine and fake homelessness so I feel I am a reasonable judge. I could see him eating the food from a distance when I turned round. Actually I hope he is lying and I have just wasted a couple of quid because if he isn't, he is sleeping in a shop doorway tonight whilst I am tucked up in my bed.

well enough from me, I don't want to bring the thread down.

DH is working late again, will just keep his dinner warm for him. Can't wait for that caulicheese - monna have you finally got sick of it?!!

Where is Mrs LW and kezlou and some other toughies whom I am sorry I have forgotten names?

Rosanna - we love cheerers-on in this thread, the more the merrier (though I am not a young parent, just a parent with young kids!)

[Deleted User]

Evening Toughies, DD back from the battlefields trip and feeling much better now. One of the pupils went down with the bug while they were away but they had enough staff to be able to let him stay in bed for the day with a responsible adult available to make sure he was OK. We've had a lovely day today and done a little shopping and wrestled both the cat and guinea pig into submission and clipped all claws, too many to count! I'm off home tomorrow and will need to make cakes for Halloween and carve my pumpkin which will be a bit of a rush as the train doesn't get in until nearly 3 O clock.


FUDDLE congrats on getting the renewal of the let on your little home, loved the pictures in previous posts, that fudge looks delicious!!!


BURTHA love, things that happen are just that, stuff happens in our lives, no reason and certainly nothing to do with what happened in previous ones. I hope so much that your DDs problem can be dealt with swiftly and successfully and that you find the strength to support her through her treatment with all the other ongoing difficulties you have to deal with. Remember we are ALWAYS here for you, to help, to support you, to send you strength and caring and just to listen if that's what you need. Keep talking to us and we'll keep listening to you pet!


Welcome in to all our new friends, lovely to have new people join in on what is a warm and supportive lovely little community here, nice to have you with us, Lyn xxx.

kboss2010

savingqueen wrote: »

I don't usually stop for people begging and I know some of the regular local faces and there are certainly a couple who are blatantly on the cadge. This man didn't beg or even catch my eye, I went over to him because I could see the state of him. He didn't ask me for anything and I struck up a conversation. I knew he could be lying but I feel for someone who is either genuinely in the state he was in or someone who was prepared to maltreat themselves to such an extent ( I could see his skin, teeth, nails, frame etc) to pretend to be homeless for whatever money they got thrown. I lived in London previously and did some volunteering for Crisis and saw so many examples of genuine and fake homelessness so I feel I am a reasonable judge. I could see him eating the food from a distance when I turned round. Actually I hope he is lying and I have just wasted a couple of quid because if he isn't, he is sleeping in a shop doorway tonight whilst I am tucked up in my bed.

well enough from me, I don't want to bring the thread down.

DH is working late again, will just keep his dinner warm for him. Can't wait for that caulicheese - monna have you finally got sick of it?!!

Where is Mrs LW and kezlou and some other toughies whom I am sorry I have forgotten names?

Rosanna - we love cheerers-on in this thread, the more the merrier (though I am not a young parent, just a parent with young kids!)

You did a lovely thing for him, I just wish I was a better judge because I just figure it's safer to not give money. And that in itself makes me sad that I feel unsafe wanting to help someone worse off than me. What a world, eh?

There's this thing I heard about recently, an online forum is promoting. I think it's unofficially called the Smile Project and the idea is that people who live in busy urban areas where people can be busy, unfriendly and antisocial simply smile and say good morning/afternoon to people they pass in the street/sit next to on a bus etc. nowadays we often view kindness of strangers with suspicion and rarely know who our neighbours are and I think the point is to go back to a time when people didn't always regard others with suspicion.


I'm naturally a trusting person but, because of that, I'm wary of people because I've had so many bad experiences. I hate that and want things to be different.

Anyone else fancy giving it a go?

fuddle

sq you have done all you can for this gent. I sit here feeling proud you were brave enough to approach him, were kind enough to speak with him and decent enough to act to help him with food/fluids. But now I want you to switch off because the man chose drink over a shelter for the night. Yes, it's rubbish. Yes he's utterly distraught and sounds like he's an addict but he could well have been one of those you describe who sit behind their lovely wrought iron gates with their luxury life styles. Drink is a horrible life wrecker. You have witnessed someone who really has hit rock bottom and there is absolutely nothing, nothing, that should be having any effect on you tonight other than the feelings of doing good. You helped that man tonight. He was fed, he was watered and all thanks to you.

Close your curtains, feel love for your family and appreciate your life. You can't take on the difficulties of this man in a way that effects you emotionally.

I maybe hard, I maybe bitter about the drink issue but ultimately I am posting to help you. You did some good tonight sq. You don't have a magic wand. x

Nargleblast

I second fuddle' s words, sq. It is physically impossible for anyone to solve all the problems of their fellow human beings, so don't dwell on it. For one brief moment in time, a single snapshot in a person's life, you were that person's guardian angel. You gave what was needed at that point, and then moved on to continue on your own path with your own circle of loved ones. And that is how it is, and how it should be.

nursemaggie

Monna nice to see you again. Hope by now the hot water is fixed
sounds a bit like what ours was like when we moved in. We only got
about 5 of luke warm water though.

Ours took months because the girls in the office at the agents
seem to be going on maternity leave every couple of weeks. They
do nothing don't pass it on and don't tell someone else has taken
over.

When we eventually got a plumber he knew what it was straight away.
waited a month for the part but no problem since.

Well I know how people end up with food banks now this sanction looks
like it will take months. They have only sanctioned him on missing the
appointment the second week of the course which proves they got the
message and cancelled the first meeting but did not bother to cancel
the second meeting. It is still DSs word against theirs as to what he
said.

They were told in the first hour of the course that it was full time
and they did not have to go to the job centre while on the course or
they would be sanctioned for missing the course.

Burtha I understand how you feel it piles up and you feel you have
no control over your life. I know I cannot do anything because it is
not me that has been sanctioned. I am not allowed to do anything but
it is me who has to find the money to keep us.It is so easy to become
homeless.

I hope the girl you are supporting will be OK Monna. My DS told me
about one young women who was sanctioned for missing a meeting she
knew nothing about. She got notice to quit her flat and she jumped
from the fourth floor with her daughter in her arms.

Personally I do not think it is right they have to get a job when
they have a small child. It is not as if there are any jobs anyway.

I have lost count of all the new ones but if I have not mentioned
you yet Welcome. It is tough out there but we will make it together.

SQ next time DS10 grows out of his trainers you will be having his
cast offs. I hope they are not garish. I got some about 10 years ago,
he had not worn them many weeks but he had walked in them funny I
could not wear them. I did get a fleece coat and a few sweatshirts
and T-shirts.

greywitch

thanks to everyone whos replied and welcomed me to this thread willl take advice and look on direct.gov about esa and will contact cab as well ive been looking around different threads and found lots of tips so thats helpfull as well
reading about homeless though make me realise how lucky we are not to be in that situation ive given money to homeless guy round our area hopefully he was genuine but who knows.

Pooky

Evening all

SQ - You did a good thing and you showed your boys the kindness that we should all extend.

Unfortunately the system is and always has been (under each and every government) skewed. There will always be those that have and those that have not, as it's been throughout history - doesn't make it easier to stand back and watch but it should serve to be a reminder of how hard you work to make sure it doesn't happen to you and yours.

I know locally we have a group at a church that offers a soup kitchen, if you see someone sleeping rough then you can call and they'll pop out and see if they can offer some help. A friend did last year with a woman who admitted she was in her 70's who'd been sleeping rough in a field, the Church crew went out, found her, offered her food, clean clothing and help finding a shelter but she refused, she'd been living rough for 20 years and couldn't bear the prospect of being "contained" in a building.

It might be worth a quick google search in your local area for homeless teams who might be able to keep an eye out for him.

In other news - they've just said it's going to be 21 degrees here tomorrow......I'm not impressed!

nursemaggie

No SQ you cannot take on the worlds troubles what follows is called a nervous breakdown.

katep23

kboss2010 wrote: »

I've sat in traffic watching several of them aggressively refuse food and hot drinks when it's cold and deliberately go back to sitting with their hoods up and heads down looking "sorry" for themselves so that they get more money./

OH and I went to London several years ago - when we were walking to our hotel there was a guy begging and I felt so bad about walking past and not doing anything.


When it turned out we had gone the wrong way and had to go back past the guy I stopped at the shop to buy him a sandwich. I walked up to give it to him and, without even looking at it, he said he was a vegetarian. As I was walking away I heard him shouting at me to give him some change.


Another man approached me and asked me if he could have the sandwich which I happily gave to him.