The OS Doorstep - a helpful and supportive thread in these tough times

judi24

Just wanted to say hello and introduce myself. I have been around the boards for a long time on and off but I really want to become more frugal in general (not just cos I have debt but as a lifestyle) So I am browsing the oldstyle forum for inspiration and ideas!


I and a single mum with 4 kids 22,21, 12 and 10 - the 22 year old DD1 has just moved out after graduating uni and started work, DD2 works full time and lives at home, DS has just been diagnosised with ADHD and I am having lots of problems with my ex (his dad) and my youngest DD3 is due to sit her 11+ this month. I also have a lovely old labradoodle, a crazy cat and several bunnies!!!


I work full time and I am just in the process of moving jobs (start new job on 1st Oct). I have taken a job that is slightly less money but feels right - which is very strange for me as my job moves have always included progression and more pay.


I am not sure i would call this a mid- life crisis or a mid life discovery! but I really want to become more organsised, more frugal and more creative! Ideally I want to create a life style that would enable me to retire from my full time job at 55 (10 years) and be able to focus on being more self sufficient by then.


You guys seem like a friendly bunch! I have frequesnted DFW boards for a long time but I really want to focus more on a lifestyle change rather than just money and debt payment if you see what I mean?


Anyway just wanted to say hello!

FairyPrincessk

Possession, big, big hugs. I hope it isn't as bad as you fear, but no matter what we'll be here to listen and help you through.

Judi, Welcome! It sounds like a time of transition and change--how exciting!

Pooky

Hello Judi - welcome aboard.

I think there comes a time when everyone realises that actually it's not all about the career, the promotions and the rushing around like a headless chicken but that life actually can be as simple as you want it to be.

I get a kick out of being frugal, out of making do, making my own and trying to generally simplify my life. Some of it's not as easy as other bits but once my girls have left home I want to be able to downsize into a mortgage free property with just enough space for our needs, to be able to manage on a small income/pension without feeling like I'm missing out and be able to enjoy my "time" wisely rather than constantly trying to strive for more.

savingqueen

Hello toughies

Mixed feelings with the start of the new academic year on here - I feel the same, sadness and also a sense of wanting to get on with things. Some busy bees here, Pooky and Kezlou and no doubt others too. Have a big hug from me Kez.

We finally got to go blackberrying this morning 3rd day lucky. We didn't get to go yesterday as DS10 wanted to do some maths so the time I marked a previous test he did on his own, went through it with him and did another test with him and marked that, 3 hours had whizzed by (with breaks.) We know his chances of scoring highly enough on the selection tests are on the slim side but he wants to have a go so we are supporting him but definitely no pushing. I don't even know if he will be able to get past the anxiety of test days but we will see.

Hope your appointment goes well ivyleaf.

I love all of Pooky's cuts but admit the Luna one is exceptionally beautiful.

Ditto re monna - I so love your tales, laughing along with you as you tell them with such humour. I still remember the incident with the candle chandelier being dragged along during a service, made me roar! Wishing you the best of luck for the weekend and hope it is all wonderful despite all the arduous
preps.

Oh (((((((Possession)))))) love. I can see why you are feeling the way you are. One day at a time, get through today as best you can and then tomorrow the same. The waiting is the worse of it. Life has its ups and downs so even if you have a down coming, it might not last long and then you will be due an up. We are all here for you.

We were meant to have rain by now.... wondering if I should chance hanging the washing out of leave it in hmmm.

ok quick bite for our lunch and then back to the list....

judi24

Thanks FairyPrincessk - I split from my ex properly almost a year ago (after another year of being on and off) and I guess the last year has been spent feeling sorry for myself and lacking any direction (managed to accumulate about 4k more debt from my complete lack of focus on anything) now i have discovered that i am in control of my own destiny - I can have dreams that are mine! My ultimate dream is to have a little house in the country and work for myself more and be more self sufficient. But I seem to have lost any ability to be creative, be motivated to get things at home done, and be organised and frugal!

savingqueen

Hello and welcome Judi Sounds like you have a lot going on and a lot of dreams and plans. You are already on the right lines being on DFW and now on here.

judi24

Pooky - I totally agree and that is my aim too - once my kids have grown up- i want my own little house with no mortgage and survive on a much smaller income and eventually pension (although wont get that til I'm 60). The new job is one that 'fits' with me as person rather than just a career move! I guess I have come to the realisation that being true to myself is more important than money!


But I guess i want to also help to show my kids whats important and not just bow down to consumerism and the throw away society that we live in! so my first challenge is to cut the cost of Christmas without cutting the enjoyment (in fact actually increasing the family time spent doing things together)

shanks77

Possession wrote: »

Trying to hold it together here as I have DD with me today, but feeling absolutely sick. 99% sure I'm going to be made redundant tomorrow. No idea what we will do. DH only on a 1 yr contract and still having problems with anxiety and depression. I can't get a full time job with school hols and a dog, and I have done the same job for 19 years and won't be able to get anything similar round here. We were supposed to be taking on a puppy shortly too, and the children will be devastated to be told we can't particularly as we are all still sad after losing Lottie. Sorry, feeling very down.

Noting I can say to help but have a dodgy hug:grouphug: and will keep fingers crossed that it doesn't come to that xx

judiwelcome to the crazy gang

Possession

Thanks guys. Yes Pooky 19 years (almost) at the same company so I should get statutory redundancy pay. We don't need lots of money but my job was always the secure one so it's a bit of a shock. We might need to look at downsizing which would almost eliminate our mortgage, but the costs of moving are so high we have to consider that too. Ugh.

Welcome Judi, this is a goldmine of frugal advice.

kezlou

(((hugs))) posession

Its awful when you dont know what to do, its like being in limbo.

Welcome Judi

Love pooky's cuts Lunas lush

Well my plans went to the window , OH turned up so ended up doing business stuff, but at theres four jobs taken of.

WAiting for ds1 to come from school,so finally having that cuppa i didn't have earlier. Got old school trousers ready for the door snake. So will start on that soonish