The OS Doorstep - a helpful and supportive thread in these tough times

kidcat

This is part of most household policies I believe, if you have answered yes to the do my door locks meet this standard or all ground floor windows have key operated window locks then odds are that your policy will require that they are in use before you can claim. I always try to avoid tying our policy into security conditions but it's getting harder to do.
Same thing applies if you declare on your car insurance that you keep it in the garage overnight and then it is stolen from the driveway overnight you are unlikely to be covered.

McC I do hope they catch the culprits and throw a book at them - preferablya very large heavy book! *

SDG31000

Hello everyone


When we were burgled the last time the £$&*( got in through the living room window that DH had left open when he came to bed. All the bedroom windows were open, as were the neighbour's, and no one heard a thing. We are with Barclays Insurance and they were great. The only thing that we couldn't claim for was any cash taken and that was under £50. Everything else was replaced/we were given the cash for. They also had someone out the same day to change all the locks as my keys were taken. They aren't the cheapest company, but we have had no complaints.


I have been mega busy and next week is looking just as packed solid. I think I have Tuesday free so far. I'm doing three full days in one shop and my normal volunteer hours in my local one. My feet are killing me just at the thought of it. Dinner is getting cooked and the odd load of laundry done, but that is about it. I did bake a rather yummy fresh raspberry and almond sponge at about 10pm last Friday, but that is as OS as it is getting at the mo.


I'd like to get some advice if I may.
A former friend of mine, Beth, moved away 5 years ago and cut virtually all contact at that time, apart from the odd comment on my face book page and a few Christmas cards. Looking back she was a terrible friend and I don't know how I put up with her selfish and hurtful behaviour for so long.
Now she is moving back to Leicester and seems to want to get back in touch. My DS2 and her DS1 used to be friends but haven't seen each other since the move. Now Beth is messaging me about schools and that our sons might be at the same one and hinting that my DS2 can look after her DS1. Beth also apparently turned up on my doorstep last Wednesday, but I was working. I really don't want to have any contact with her and especially don't want to get drawn back into her drama filled existence in which it was my role to be a combination nanny/cook/agony aunt/maid and fat friend who is there to make her look good.
Am I better not saying anything until I have to or should I message her and let her know the above? (In a more polite way of course)


Many thanks in advance and much love to all xxxx

burtha

Mrs L that cat is fab .

The friend that is moving back I would just keep telling her that your busy and will get back to her ,then don't ...un friend her on fb as well .

Still waiting for baby ,the plan is to induce her Tues or wed ,she has to ring up tomorrow .......

Seem to have spent this morning shopping ,cleaning and loading washing machine.. And this afternoon cooking ,still loading washing machine,....and......but and ...this is a big gold star ....I cut the hedge !!!! Very tall to start with,about 9 foot ?? Is the height we keep it at ..but it had grown at least another 2 ft ... And its very wide ....had to use large lopper thing balancing on some very wobbly ladders ..,kept myself sain talking to my 2dogs who were getting covered in cuttings Lol . not my best ,as I was on the top of said ladders, holding on to tree tops .....thank god I didn't fall ,might have landed on dogs !! So now I look like I have been slashing my arms ,neck,chest ....ect have chunks out of my hands ....will get some odd comments at work in the morning...... Did my dh even notice hedge when he came home ....!#%£#%£ no !
:undecided
So now packing case for ds sch trip ..tomorrow till wed ....shocking cost £ 130 ...they are only going less than 45 mins away for 2 nights !!! Or am I just being tight lol .......thank god for permanent marker pens otherwise it may have been a long night ...
Better go and find some toothpaste for him ,even though I bet he doesn't use it ....x

Mojoworking

Sdg3100 I read don't really post but is this tbe friend who has been back a few times and not even been to visit. If yes you really need to keep her at arms length as it seems like your families role is to facilitate her children in the transition back. How do you know she called round. Good luck as it looks like she has a job for you and she will get you to do it if sh can!!!

[Deleted User]

SDG it's a big dilemma when you are settled in your routine and have moved on from a toxic friendship and then the 'friend' decides you're useful to her again isn't it? They are usually hard to disabuse of the fact that you are still the same useable 'victim' that you were when they knew you previously and pitch up into your life assuming that things will be exactly the same as they were. Wrong!!! Your DS will have made new friends and his life will be very different 5 years on as will yours, it's probable that after that length of time you'll have very little in common with this lady or her son. She will need firm handling I suspect and you'll possibly have to be unavailable every time she turns up and called away from the phone or not there at all whenever she phones you, and I suspect there will be many attempts to put you back into the role she percieves is yours. If you stand firm and resolutely say NO to every attempt she will eventually find a replacement 'slave' to do all those things she needs doing and will ultimately leave you in peace. I would think your DS and his friends too will have thier own ideas about letting someone who has been away for that length of time back into an established group and the ladys son might not fit at all, 5 years is a long time in the life and development of young folks and they ALL change very much as people in that period. Good luck with sorting this one out, it's not easy but you CAN do it and we're here to listen and help if we can until it's sorted, Lyn xxx.

FairyPrincessk

Morning all!

It feels like ages since I've posted. I've been reading along, but forgot my password when a friend was helping repair my laptop and couldn't reset it on the old clunker I was using.

Really sorry to hear about the breakin! We were broken into a little over a year ago and were jumpy for months. Nothing was stolen but it made is feel so invaded iykwim.

SDG, for what its worth I wouldn't orchestrate a direct confrontation yet. When she phones etc just have a few excuses ready. She is bound to persist for awhile, but it sounds like you have all summer to get through before she'll be hounding your kids. She may give up if she finds a more convenient friend (since it sounds like that was why she liked you!) and if not then it will probably be easier to find a polite way of permanently fobbing her off in a month or two. Chances are the first time or two you say no when she needs help will send her in the other direction.

I spent yesterday in the garden, and have two curtain panels up ready to measure the hems. I'm taking a day off today--feel a bit nervous and guilty, but we've loads of stuff to do around the house and I've been working like made to get a piece of work which was sent in Friday. It really won't hurt to take a day before I start again and I know I'll work better, be more refreshed and the house will be in better shape if I just take this day--so today its lots of washing, disinfecting the kitchen, cleaning the skirting boards (OH usually does floors which in his head does not include skirting boards!) and might even get to some windows. Will also try to make some more progress on these curtains.

Possession

SDG if it were me I avoid confrontation so I'd just be busy, very busy.

Have just sat down for the first time since 5.30 this morning, after all the usual stuff and an emergency trip to Mr T as it's DS's first day of exams today. He has a maths exam and picked this morning to tell me he'd lost his protractor. On the plus side I didn't buy doughnuts, on the minus side as soon as I got back I saw a protractor on the table. As you do.
Vets this morning. Lottie is due for a check-up anyway but she's been very irritable with Sapphie and with my son this weekend, which she hasn't done for ages so there's obviously something up.

paidinchickens

Morning everyone.

I have started to wonder if you get to a certain age and start seeing through certain friends?

I remember my Nan having a couple of close friends as her generation did and then the rest of her company was family. Do you get to a certain age where your family gets bigger so you have less time? or do your friends become a PITA so you lose contact one by one?

Or is it down to acquaintances/people you know but are not really friends but you count them as such when your younger?

I have three close friends who I see probably once a month and the rest of the time is taken up with family. I seemed to change my outlook on people when I hit 40 and friends have dwindled off gradually since.

I'm waffling and I'm being no help with the toxic friend sdg but I think with age you become wiser towards these kinds of relationships, FB is a nightmare for many different reasons.... possibly close your account for a couple of weeks and defriend her if you don't want the confrontation?

PiC x

Pooky

Morning all

Possession - sorry but I did giggle at the protractor - I swear they run off and hide at the merest mention of an exam. I rounded up all the compasses, protractors, calculators and clear plastic pencils cases (for exam use) and kept them in a special drawer....they still disappeared! Hope Lottie gets on ok at the vets.

SDG - I'd just be very, very, very busy and promise to catch up as soon as you have the time. If she's not getting the "reaction" of an audience with you then she'll find someone else.

Mrs LW - Pushkin is gorgeous! He's such a big boy.

Hectic weekend here and I seemed to have an awful lot of other peoples kids here most of the time - in reality it was only DD2's BF here for the weekend and DD1's BF was here one night but they were all off to a party so we ended up with another 4/5 here for pre party drinks (none of them are big drinkers so a larger each whilst playing mario Kart was their limit).....Years ago that many kids made a lot of noise but didn't take up much space but now they're all strapping 6ft 18/19 year olds it makes my house feel tiny. It was lovely when a couple of the boys declared they didn't want to go to the party but wanted to stay here with us and play games.

DD1 hands in her final works at college today, she's on course for the score she needs for Uni so fingers crossed she should have her results by the end of the week.

I need to do some framing and some business admin today so not going to leave the house - I'd like to say it will be a NSD but I'm sure I need to order some frames.

Dinner this evening will be......erm....no idea - best check the freezer for something to defrost!

Possession

Snap Pooky no idea here either. Quite possibly chicken and rice though as both dogs need bland food for a few days. Am hoping DS will be in a good mood not a stroppy can't bear another day mood!
I am back on day one of healthy eating and hoping - no demanding - to lose lots of weight. If I announce it that also means I have to admit failure so I have an ulterior motive. It's not so easy to lose weight on frugal food though is it, it's the carbs which are cheap and it's those I need to cut out. Perhaps we need to start an OS healthy eating thread or do we have one I've missed? I thought we used to have one.