Things you should do before you have children

geoffky

Make sure you like children...I was never around children before we had them and it was a massive shock for me.

ALIBOBSY

meritaten wrote: »

oh and forget sex or at least spontaneous sex for the next ten years after having a baby - they have radar! the only time you will have together for sex is when your kids have a sleepover.

We have four kids and to be honest I am surprised by the number of posts about not having sex, our sex life is still pretty active lol. Mind you perhaps that's why we have four .

You just have to learn new skills, forget about romance and getting in the mood, sometimes its a case of taking advantage of opportunity. Get into daytime "fun", when babies are asleep, or kids at school etc. Get Gp's to babysit so you can go out for "a meal" then go home and..........

Learn the art of stealth sex, silent but deadly:j. Install a bolt on the inside of the bedroom door now.

Be able to "get in and out of the mood" fast as well as dealing with "interruptions".

Treat is as all part of the fun and love in the relationship.

We sometimes have date nights were the kids get rental films and popcorn etc to eat upstairs and we get time together (not like that though-no lock downstairs lol). Ds at about 7 came down and asked why we were dressed as film stars :rotfl:. Guess they aren't used to us dressed up, suited etc.

My gran told me before my first to forget missing the stuff from when you are alone and hang on to every moment with the kids as you get along time together after the kids are grown up/left home to enjoy all that again.

Mind you agree about the pens, I buy packs and packs of bics and yet when I need a pen there is NEVER one left.

Good Luck, being a parent is the best thing you can do (except for those who really feel they don't want to have kids). It is wonderful, challenging and exhausting

Ali x

plumpmouse

moneysaymoneydo wrote: »

Oh bangton if I had a pound for everytime I've heard the "baby wont really change our plans we will take it with us" long haul flights and babies sounds like a good idea baby will sleep all the way but nothing better than a mum panicing hemmed in on a flight with scowling passengers and baby needing fed/changed to sleep, once your little bundle of joy is in your arms, sore ears them crying etc we just don't want for them, caravan will do :rotfl:

Bangton would probably be very wealthy if she had a pound everytime a parent had said to her "you won't understand what it will be like until you have children."

It can be done and everyone copes differently with things.

But to answer the Op's question I would say sleep, sleep, sleep. It's the one thing in my life that has changed post babies but I have 2 who have been not been great sleepers.

Travel whilst harder is still fun and exciting and possible no matter how many people say you'll not travel for years!

ALIBOBSY

Regarding the cost, tbh your priorities change and you adapt. I recall after having DS a friend from work who had a baby about 12 months after I did coming back full time, when I was only part time.

We had houses streets away from each other with similar mortgages and bills, OH's were on simular pay. When we looked at what she paid to run a second car, and child care costs, as well as what I saved by having extra time to shop around and cook/bake stuff from scratch she was no better off working (think it worked out about £20 a month extra).

So I would weigh up the basic bills, if partners wage would cover mortgage/rent, council tax, petrol and utility bills then you can afford a pretty big cut. You become time rich, cash poor so use the time.

Go for it you will never feel you have enough money, although it is good if you can clear any debts first.

Ali x

jollymummy

fluffnutter wrote: »

Unusual names for your boys.

You haven't met them:D

bossymoo

Sleep. Lots. Because you can.

Bangton

plumpmouse wrote: »

Bangton would probably be very wealthy if she had a pound everytime a parent had said to her "you won't understand what it will be like until you have children."

It can be done and everyone copes differently with things.

But to answer the Op's question I would say sleep, sleep, sleep. It's the one thing in my life that has changed post babies but I have 2 who have been not been great sleepers.

Travel whilst harder is still fun and exciting and possible no matter how many people say you'll not travel for years!

Quite right I'd be loaded by now. The thing is Im not a mum yet so I can't say for sure how I'll be but if I listened to people saying I can't do this, that and the other I'd be really worried about impending motherhood. It's so nice to hear that you do travel and have a bloody good time doing it. What shocked me most on falling pregnant was how much people queued up to tell me how hard it is and how it will break me! I'm not daft and I know my life will be my child but hand on heart I believe that my life and plans shouldn't stop just because I'm a mum and life might be that much harder. Still, to be honest whether I'm in Cornwall, Skegness, China or new york I'm not that fussed so long as my little family is happy

YORKSHIRELASS

meritaten wrote: »

oh and forget sex or at least spontaneous sex for the next ten years after having a baby - they have radar! the only time you will have together for sex is when your kids have a sleepover.

Ahhh but dont forget that when the kids get a bit older they KNOW what you are doing and that makes it even harder! Then they get to be teenagers and go to bed after you do - then you have to make the most of early mornings when they are still dead to the world.

I had my first son when I was 26 so didnt think about it too much. Just go with the flow I say - I suppose the thing I have missed most is just being able to spend quality time with OH. Even now the kids are older our lives still revolve around them most of the time but its wonderful and I love being a Mum.

bylromarha

Bangton wrote: »

Quite right I'd be loaded by now. The thing is Im not a mum yet so I can't say for sure how I'll be but if I listened to people saying I can't do this, that and the other I'd be really worried about impending motherhood. It's so nice to hear that you do travel and have a bloody good time doing it. What shocked me most on falling pregnant was how much people queued up to tell me how hard it is and how it will break me! I'm not daft and I know my life will be my child but hand on heart I believe that my life and plans shouldn't stop just because I'm a mum and life might be that much harder. Still, to be honest whether I'm in Cornwall, Skegness, China or new york I'm not that fussed so long as my little family is happy

I went to China with my then 6 and 7 year old last summer :rotfl:Airasia is your friend for dirt cheap flights around the region.

Admittedly, I refuse to take them to NY when I get to go there in the next few years. I want to do too much there and think they'll get uber bored, or my short time will be eaten up doing things that they'll enjoy and I want it to be a selfish holiday!

ilovelondontown

I'm loving these - I definitely took some of your suggestions to heart this weekend. I cleaned the house, went out for a meal with my husband had some cheeky cocktails and slept in today to clear the fog in my head.