Things you should do before you have children

mcja

Travel. You can do it with kids but its harder. My 2 are so chilled out, and are old enough to be able to travel with (6&9) but I wish that I travelled before I had them both.

*Robin*

Bangton wrote: »

I'm pregnant now and have no regrets as to what I haven't yet done despite not having had much in the way of holidays which I love. In fact my partner and I have only just really got to an almost debt free life and started to live freely and I got knocked up!

Maybe I'm naive (I'm frequently told it!) but I just don't care. My baby will just go wherever I go! We had planned to have more holidays, visit China, New York - places we've never afforded in the past and to be honest those plans haven't changed because I'm having a baby. This first year I probably will spend alot of time at home and with family but after that the worlds still my oyster whether I have a child or not.

Bangton, once your baby is here your priorities will change. And unless you possess military powers of organisation or a huge disposable income, you'll find the logistics of long-distance carefree travel with small children an impossibility.

Either visit China now before baby arrives [if you've got time], or plan it as a retirement gift to yourself and DH.

pesky85

• Cherish your pre-baby figure
• Go to the cinema, lots
• Have lay ins
• Go on holiday

plumpmouse

Bangton wrote: »

That's not to criticise you for getting everything in order first it's just I personally have endured so many months of 'life will change forever' 'you can't do this, that and the other' and deep down thought YES I CAN!

Anything is possible if you really want it to be (and have money)

I've traveled more since having my children than before (NZ, USA, Dubai, quite a bit around Europe).

As we are moving over to Asia this summer we fully intend to take advantage and travel around Thailand, Malaysia and China if possible in the next couple of years.

Having children does change things and it does make things harder but you can still do it. It's wrong of people to imply you have no idea what you are in for and that your plans and goals will alter.

Traveling with my 9 year old is a piece of cake, my 3 year old not so much but certainly possible. I would say the hardest time to travel with a child is between 1-3 years when they are toddling and a bit harder to contain!

Enjoy your travels, your child certainly will!

poet123

I would say that if you are the sort of person who writes a post like the OP you will be fine. Planning, organisation and flexibility are some of the key things in being a parent.

Everything goes in phases, you will need sleep, but that will pass, you will think this child will go to school in nappies; it won't. The mantra is; this too will pass!!

Think about your long term goals and how the constraints and/or opportunities of having a child can shape them. Learn to smile sweetly at those who offer advice then make your own mind up.

Enjoy it.

No matter how irritating it seems when you are in the midst of it and people say this to you, any phase does soon pass and they grow up so quickly....and that brings with it a whole new set of problems, the difference being you have zero control over those and you might have to practice Zen Buddhism to stay sane!!

You can still have a life, still have me time, still travel with a child or children you just have to be more organised.

SplanK

meritaten wrote: »

oh and forget sex or at least spontaneous sex for the next ten years after having a baby - they have radar! the only time you will have together for sex is when your kids have a sleepover.

I call BS on that.... you just have to become inventive in where and when!

Anything is possible when you are + kids, you just have to be that more creative about things...

Saying that, before out little one came along our "before kids" list was New York and Thorpe park!

pollypenny

No to a blow out holiday if you have any sort if financial problems, as having children will exacerbate them.

Just enjoy time with your OH and friends, particularly the latter, in a spontaneous way. Once you have little ones, it's a big organising a babysitter thing for the simplest outing.

Birdie85

I'm only 7 weeks pregnant but before I got pregnant we enjoyed being childfree as much as possible. We go to the movies a lot, have spontaneous weekends away, we eat in fancy restaurants where I used to eat steak without worrying about it being rare (le sigh) and pate... lots of pate! Seriously, read the list of foods you're not allowed to eat whilst pregnant and enjoy them whilst you still can!

Oh and since I've bloated massively already and can only seeing my bloat turning into a bigger bump in due course, I must recommend wearing sexy fitted clothes whilst you can!

Everyone else has made great suggestions, we've ticked off some big blow-out holidays and we're having our last baby free holiday in September, which was planned months before actually getting PG so we've just been very lucky with timing. :j

Cowgirl13

My husband and I both have good jobs, don't have any debt, but still don't consider ourselves in a position to have children and time appears to be running out very quickly! The cost of childcare would probably mean I would need to leave work, or work part time and that would mean our income would be halfed. How do people with kids manage to go back to work, put there children in childcare and for it to be worthwhile? Maybe we're still slightly selfish in the fact that we want to afford the house, nice cars, holidays etc and not struggle my parents had too.

neverdespairgirl

Bear in mind, OP, that lots of the posters who say "no sex when you have small children" have more than one child, so something funny's going on......