Help me... I guess it's time to just reach out and touch...

tealady

Tut tut wasting money (sez she who bought and drunk a lot of beer last night) And whilst you are checking the iron switch off EVERYTHING that is on standby, you will be wasting a fortune otherwise.

PanickingHARD

tealady wrote: »

Tut tut wasting money (sez she who bought and drunk a lot of beer last night) And whilst you are checking the iron switch off EVERYTHING that is on standby, you will be wasting a fortune otherwise.

I've just run home and I had left it on... Grrrr... All I could see was £££'s flashing before my eyes...

Oh, and I'm usually pretty good re the standby thing... I turn the plugs off at the wall on a night for everything except my stereo, which resets itself if the powers off for more than 2 hours... It's a pain, but it's more of a pain to have to reset all my EQ and other settings every time I want to listen to something... Which is every time I walk in the door...

I'm a closet Eco-warrior anyway (Don't use plastic carrier bags unless ABSOLUTELY necessary, never print anything out unless ABSOLUTELY necessary, recycle eveything I can, choose recycled packaging over non-recycled on every product I buy if I can, actively choose products which use less packaging, and especially less plastic, buy fairtrade everything, etc etc etc... Good god, I'm a saint... :rolleyes: )

Hehehehe...

Sugar_Junkie

Hiya, glad you had a good, if expensive weekend. I do have a question about Friday... did you supply the drink??? If you did that's where you're going wrong on the "cheap night in" front. The trick is to get your mates over but get them each to bring their OWN booze. It works like a charm as between the lot of you, you always end up with plenty more than you can drink. Everyone always over estimates.

Apart from that all you then need is some nibbles for that time of night when you just HAVE to eat something - Doritos were an excellent choice although I would probably only have bought two bags and made them a cheaper Doritos copy. Supermarket own brand sour cream or guacamole makes a great dip for them and is much cheaper than the matching dip they try to flog you by cleverly placing it at eye level next to the bags of tortillas.

For entertainment we usually opt for a dvd someone brings or that we own (I have fond memories of discovering the TV series Spaced after a bottle of wine, at my mates house on one such "night in", and laughing until I cried and couldn't breathe) or a cheesy board game (the last fave for this was that LOTR dvd trivial pursuit that we'd been bought for Xmas one year), which is always soooo much more fun after several drinks. Although I do notice it always seems to be the same people that win. hmmm.. Key there is to get on the right team I think, which clearly I don't do.

Then there's the morning to consider. I generally find as long as you can supply toast on demand and mugs of tea/coffee everyone's happy. Which is good as they are also cheap. If you would like to push the boat out there's always the offer of jam

And that's generally how my cheap nights in go.. a fraction of the cost of going into town and I have many more fun and memorable nights rolling around my living room drunk with my mates than out in a noisy bar trying to get served. I highly recommend it!

tealady

As you have a car and park in a city centre have you thought about car sharing? As long as you leave the dragons at home you might find someone who will pay you for a lift.

momisa

Just managed to catch up with this wonderful thread :j

So, PH, fab weekend eh? Well done you. With regards to spending money, be very aware that you are on the right track and it's gonna take some time to figure out how to enjoy life, without feeling like your missing anything!! If you recycle (all folks who buy fair trade recycle - right :T ). When I started recycling it was a right pain, now I remember to take bags with me at all times when shopping for anything but it took a while to change the bad habits to good :A

Reclaiming your bank charges should not affect your credit rating. These charges are unlawful which is why so many people are winning. I won a total of £300 from my bank and credit cards just by going through my statements and working out my charges. I wrote one letter to each one using Martins sample and waited. Didn't go to court or anything, just a little time and a postage stamp. Now, stop thinking of every excuse in the book and then some, and get this done

The property with the Ex is a bit of a set back, but from here on, there are only solutions :money:

You'll be surprised by how much can be gained by taking small steps.

I hope you're sleeping and eating well.

Take care
:kisses3:

PanickingHARD

momisa wrote: »

I hope you're sleeping and eating well.

Take care

I'm doing neither, but thanks for asking!

And thank you for all your other comments... You are a star!

I have many, MANY others to thank and to reply to comments from etc... And I will this evening, I promise... Believe me, I am going to be on here a lot.

I going to be asking a question to every single person who has read this thread... No matter how good or bad you think you are with money, or advice, or anything else... Please... I need some very urgent advice.

My Dad (read: My Hero), is going to sort all this out. Apparently, he hasn't slept (AT ALL) since last Thursday last week.

My Mum called me last night about 5pm and asked me to come see them. She wouldn't tell me why, but I live about 150 miles away from them, so she would NEVER do this if not something serious. I obviously jumped straight in the car and drove to theirs... They cornered me and have forced me to accept help. I have been as firm as I could with him about all of this, but my Mum was sobbing and sobbing about it... I feel like such a c&*%... I'm sorry for the language, but that's the only word I can think of to get even CLOSE to explaining the way I feel right now...

Apparently, since I told him, Dad has done nothing but worry... And that man was BORN to worry... Mum has been asking him for a week or so why he wasn't sleeping, etc, etc, was he ok? What was going on? and eventually, told him she was making a doctors appointment for him... That's when he caved in and told her...

The reason I had not told her myself is simple. She OWNS my a$$... It really is as simple as that... In every way, she out-thinks, out-wits and out-smarts me, and is the only person I've ever met that does all three. She knew exactly how to get me to accept help, Dad knew she would, as did I... that's why I'd not told her... She just cried, and cried and cried... I can't take that... Plus, the woman has an IQ of like 184 or something :mad: ... Tears and genius are a persuasive mix.

As I've said, I have done everything I could to stop this from happening, and have REFUSED to just take the money from them. OUTRIGHT...

I have never felt so disgusted with myself in all my life, but the trouble is, I cannot dispute their logic, from any angle. And they know that.

The straw that broke the camels back is that the situation with my CC's just got worse... MBNA just sent me a letter (a form letter... so probably going to a lot of you too) saying, in the overtly-friendly way that is their want, that they are "just dropping me a line to let me know they are knocking my interest rate up for me... to 29.9%"... the SH!TBAGS... I opened that in front of M&D (MBNA STILL haven't bothered to amend my address, so my post goes there still)... That just sent me off on one with rage... which made Mum cry more... which made me cry a bit... which made her spot the chink in my armour... Which left me promising I'd let them help...

What I have agreed to, is that they will get me out of this situation. They will get the cash, as a loan/whatever/something and I will pay (READ OVERpay) the debt of, regularly and out of MY ACCOUNT one way or the other... We left it there and I drove home in tears. I have to ring them tonight and decide how we are going to do this.

Even if I just take the fast and easy option and get a consolidation loan, they'll get a rate of about 5-7%... EASY... The best I can hope for is about 20... If I'm lucky enough to find someone to take me on...

This is happening, one way or another, and I need you all to help me.

I will give you the following conditions...

I Promise you all that...

A) I will never, EVER, from this moment forward get one pound deeper in debt than I already am, until after the day when I can say "I owe NOTHING to ANYONE"... And I will re-promise this on a daily basis, to myself, and to you all. I will be debt free as fast as I POSSIBLY can be.

I will cut up all three of my credit cards, and close all 3 of my credit accounts on the same day I pay the balances off. If you would like photographic proof of this, I am happy to give it to you.

C) I am now, more than EVER, committed to being debt-free. I will do everything in my power to pay my debt. Including quitting smoking.

He has offered me something, I think, called a 'drawdown' on his mortgage (I, nor he, really knows what this is)... He will get credit cards, loans (secured or unsecured) and will do whatever I ask him to sort this out...

He (Mum's idea, clearly) was just going to get a loan and put the money in my bank if I wouldn't let him help... So I explained about you lot... and what you, and your thoughts, ideas and kindness have done for me... And how much sense you all make... and how financially savvy you lot are...

He said "Tell them I said 'Thank you from the bottom of my heart'... And tell them I said 'How do I get my son out of this, and give those b%$^*&£s as little interest as we possibly can?' "

So... The question... From my Dad...

"Thank you from the bottom of my heart... How do I get my son out of this and give those b%$^*&£s as little interest as we possibly can?"

I ask you all one question. From me... Given the backing of a man with about £250k of equity in his house, an ABSOLUTELY IMMACULATE credit rating, more heart than sense, an unbearably clever wife and a total refusal to back down... How should I use him to pay my debts off and send my interest rates for repayment as LOW as possible?

I prefer his question though...

Please, Please help me...

x

hypno06

Phew, reading that has made me exhausted! Firstly, your mum and dad are fab. Secondly I know that you are trying to do this in the "right" way, being most responsible yourself etc. Thirdly, I notice that there was not one single mention of dragons in your post, so you must be taking this very seriously indeed.

As for the best way to go, if you want to maintain your credit rating, simply ask for the amounts outstanding and pay the full amount. If you are behind with payments and have pants rating anyway, then perhaps offering full and final settlements would be an option. This is not something I know anything about but others will be along who do.

You will still have the debt, but to your parents instead. So you just update your signature. You still post on here everyday and you still ask for help in the bad/difficult times, and for motivation when you hit that wall, and you still tell us of the good days, when you have made another overpayment and seen your debt total go down.

Got to dash now - parents evening at school, but will be back later for an update.

sammy115

Oh Bless your mum and dad..

I think they sound lovely and I think in all honesty - you should accept their help.. Not sure how to do it but it sounds like a mortgage drawdown is the cheapest option - pay off all your cc's and loans and shut them down.

And never take credit again. Pay your mum and dad back. It is simple!

Mums and dads love their kids and would rather die than see their kids in pain and distress. They would also rather see you have the benefit of their money, rather than you pay your hard earned money over to some cc company every month for god knows how long.

I think you have learned a hard lesson and don't forget while you are in this much debt your mum and dad are worrying about you. You have opened the doors to a much more open relationship with your parents and that is a good thing.

I am sure you will repay them when you become an established author......

And for gods sake when you do become debt free at least check your bank statements every month (how you never noticed all those odd payments going out I will never know)

InTheRed

What fabulous parents you have, I am almost tearful reading you last post....
The easiest option would be to re-mortgage the amount you require to repay debt, but consider that is turning unsecured debt to secured, but compared to any unsecured loan you could apply for it would be much cheaper.

Another option would be for you mum or dad (or combination) to apply for credit cards on interest free basis, or low life of balance cards and balance transfer payments to you cards. (Need to check if this is even possible!!)
This way the money is still unsecured, but if parents are retired would the CC companies lend (Most probably yes, as they do not seem to check anyone these days!)

I am sure you will change you payment behaviour, you have already made big strides.
The next things are the smoking, reclaiming bank charges and looking at cheaper rental accomodation - I'm sure you will suceed!

Take it easy
ITR

momisa

:hello: PH

You have amazing parents and are a very blessed man!!

Definately accept their help.

Cancel all existing payment protection policies today - right now - do not breath again until this is done!!

Then (and in no particular order)

:eek:1. Get an exact figure of the entire debt that you owe and be absolutely correct about this (loans, credit cards, overdraft, car payments).

:eek:2. Do an absolute list of a SOA including money for gifts, hairdressers, cinema, MOT, insurance etc etc. include all expenses that you expect for a year.

3. From 1+2 above you'll know exactly how much money you have available each month to pay off a loan. From this figure you'll be able to determine how long you'll need a loan for. DO NOT TAKE PAYMENT PROTECTION WITH THE LOAN COMPANY - GET A SEPARATE DEAL!!

4. It may be wise to make sure that you have a separate payment protection policy incase you lose your job thru ill health or redundancy. Not sure how this will work though if a loan is purely in M&Ds name. Policy's would only pay out on finances in your name. (Not sure what rate you'd get if you got the loan with M&Ds as guarantors?? but suspect it would be higher.)

5. Once you've sorted out the finances and are paying each month, snowball the details to see what would happen if you pay extra each month or whatever - say if you get overtime or something (assuming the loan you get allows you to make over payments).

6. Reclaim bank charges (and credit card charges) - I've said it before and I'm gonna keep saying it until you've confirmed you've done something about it

7. Eat (5 pieces of fruit/veg a day - so they say!!)

8. Sleep

:rotfl: 9. Find something to laugh at each day - even if you just have to look in the mirror :rotfl: you'll feel better for it.

:doh: 10. When you've worked past the pride, foolishness, stupidity of all that you're feeling BRING ON THE DRAGONS :rotfl:

I only wish I had some idea of what kind of loan would best suit this situation but I'm confient that someone on this fine forum will have the knowledge.

HTH

:kisses2: