Shamus dfw diary- a long long road

chevalier

Hi there
Shamu
Just read through your thread. You are making progress even if it is small. You will still be better off than when you started. Keep going, you will get there!

One thing you said the following in your SOA
"joint account £460 totally non-negoitable. have spoke to partner millions of times but like talking to brick wall. my debts my problem."

Perhaps the way for you to talk to him about this is to go through your statements and add up all the things that were joint expenses - food, clothes and shoes for the children, household stuff etc and then sit him down and show him that all this debt wasn't spent on just YOU! Surely this would make him see that his negative attitude is not helping. Surely you being debt free would help THE WHOLE FAMILY which includes him? I am a bit confused by his attitude.

shopping £100

shamu95

Well my positive mood has completly vanished!
Mr postman very kindly fetched me some letters telling me that my Abbey interest rate is going up to nearly 30% same as my Citicard is. The credit card i applied for for poor credit scorers has refused me. Citi are defending my claim so another court battle.
Had a bad morning at playgroup and desperately need to sleep.
Also got letter from bank telling me im overdrawn.-Could it get any worse?
Why is it that everytime i think im getting there this happens,
Am in floods of tears and none of my friends are answering the phone.
The kids keep telling me they dont like me being sad and m upsetting them, i feel such a failure today.
Chev- my OH will not budge! in his words he's helped enough by putting his name to loan and by letting me move £2k to his card-that is all he will give.
Have done the chat-the figures-the plan everything. My mess.

lynzpower

hi shamu

im really sorry to hear that things seem to be constantly battering you, i liken you to a little pugboat desperately trying to get to shore, but getting battered by the waves


I strongly suggest you call CCCS and see if you can get them to take you on with a DMP and have the interest frozen. I know you are wanting to "deal with it on your own" but you are doing everything you can, look at you! but you cant control what the companies do, and what they are doing is making things WAY more harder for you than your income can cope with.

Please please consider a DMP. theres nothing at all to say you cant pay it off early. if cccs can deal with helping getting the interest frozen that will be the boost you need cos all the times the interest is going up ( and also hate to say this theres another interest rate rise coming before August, so the cards COULD go up again. I tihnk getting the interest frozen would be realy helpful for you sugar xx

shamu95

Thanks lynxpower-Am in no fit state to ring anybody just yet. And im at work ina couple of hours.
I know that you are right but first i may swallow my pride and speak to my grandad on friday. I really dont want to but be easier for me to deal with than going on a dmp.
One day im sure i will look back and laugh at this but right now im just a wreck. If i get my sorting head back on i will ring the companies myself- desperately hoping to win my charges claim as that would be £4k which ould help so so very much.
I never ever thought i would be affected so badly- i am not me at all

Ignatius_A

lynzpower wrote: »

hi shamu

im really sorry to hear that things seem to be constantly battering you, i liken you to a little pugboat desperately trying to get to shore, but getting battered by the waves


I strongly suggest you call CCCS and see if you can get them to take you on with a DMP and have the interest frozen. I know you are wanting to "deal with it on your own" but you are doing everything you can, look at you! but you cant control what the companies do, and what they are doing is making things WAY more harder for you than your income can cope with.

Please please consider a DMP. theres nothing at all to say you cant pay it off early. if cccs can deal with helping getting the interest frozen that will be the boost you need cos all the times the interest is going up ( and also hate to say this theres another interest rate rise coming before August, so the cards COULD go up again. I tihnk getting the interest frozen would be realy helpful for you sugar xx

If this doesn't appeal, perhaps it's a lever? You could contact each of your more expensive cards and loans and point out that unless you can somehow negotiate a lower rate, your only other option is a DMP. Anybody with any sense would have to appreciate that lower interest is better for the lender than frozen interest!!:eek:

Just a thought

SortingIt_2

Hello,

I hope you have stopped crying now, things just keep happening to you of late, I am sure it must be due to end now! If you are tired, take a little nap, I am sure it is making you feel a lot worse. Just keep remembering how pround your mum and dad said they are and also how well you have been doing - it will all work out.

How did you get on with regard to the 500 of the money your dad was due to lend? Any further there?

I know you are not in the mood at all today but it may be an idea to call credit card company and ask them to consider lowering rate? Or have you already tried this?

Take today off debt and start again tomorrow - you need a break from thinking about it, I am worried about you.

Keep smiling, rest well and keep positive. You will get there, we are all here to help you!

xx

lynzpower

shamu95 wrote: »

Thanks lynxpower-Am in no fit state to ring anybody just yet. And im at work ina couple of hours.
I know that you are right but first i may swallow my pride and speak to my grandad on friday. I really dont want to but be easier for me to deal with than going on a dmp.
One day im sure i will look back and laugh at this but right now im just a wreck. If i get my sorting head back on i will ring the companies myself- desperately hoping to win my charges claim as that would be £4k which ould help so so very much.
I never ever thought i would be affected so badly- i am not me at all

I know now isnt the time, make sure you head is together, and maybe discuss with freidns OH, think it through properly.

What will you speak to your grandad, do you mean you might borrow from him?

How long to go till your charges pay out have you had your court allocation questionaire yet?

Huuuuuggggleesssss hun I do feel for you xxx

Helonearth

Hi Shamu,

I just wanted to let you know that I think you are doing brilliantly! I really admire your strength in saying that you aren't going to let this get you down.

Maybe though, Lynz has a point. The card companies aren't helping you, and neither is your other half. Maybe CCCS will be the ones who can help you, and what's so wrong with asking for a little help anyway?

I wish you luck, but I think you have enough guts to not need it.

Hel x

shamu95

Thank you guys. I cant ring anybody till probably friday due to im too emotional at the moment.( not stop crying yet) and the kids would just keep interrupting today. Also im off to work in a bit 4pm-2pm then at 2nd job 9-12 and havent put in avon order yet. However i do think it will be worthwhile ringing as the loan compny lowered rate didnt they so must be worth a try.
As for my dad he's checking his statements- ive checked mine he lent me £7079.25. So ill ring and sort out tonight.
Wish i could stop thinking about it- unfortunately its the only thing that occupys my brain at the moment.
Please dont worry i wont do anything silly just need to cheer up somehow.

shamu95

Guys thank you.
My grandad would probably just give me a grand or two to be honest but he wouldnt let me give it back.
I have £70 charges agreed that are due soon. Am in court 27th July for £2500 but am altering for £3000 but cant get my ead around court bundle. Citi have just acknowledged claim for nearly £700 and have requested £285 plus interest from Barclaycard last wwek. Must do a claim for £80 from halifax.
Thanks for helping- i hope i manage to speak to someone human when i call the companies.