MIL in residential home

tyllwyd

The thing that came to my mind was a clock - possibly more as decoration than anything else but a nice clock would make it look a bit homely.

elsien

Photo album/ life history type book. You can have fun putting it together and talking over old times, and it also comes in useful for staff to use to talk to people and get an idea of their interests. Or those photo books you can get of your town that go back donkeys years. My relative used to enjoy talking over how things had changed.
Also the things that make you comfortable such as llip salve, hand cream etc.
Plus I often took in meals, mainly because the food the home provided was so bad, but also because they wouldn't cook the more unusual things my relative enjoyed, such as stuffed heart. I didn't ask permission, as I didn't see they had the right to say no, but I did tell the staff what she'd had, for their records.

Edit - I'd suggest a small alarm clock rather than a wall clock, if MIL wouldn't be able to see a wall clock.

elsien

And the feeling down is completely understandable. It's possibly starting to just sink in that the move might be for the long haul. So even if its a good home, she may be grieving for the life she has lost and her loss of independence. The chance to talk about how she feels without being jollied out of it may be just as useful as her physical comfort.

Squish815

Not a new suggestion as such, but we got my Nan a digital photo frame when she moved in to a residential home. She loved her photos and this was the easiest way for her to have most of them there and for us to be able to add new ones on.

DebbieR

Thank you so much for all the lovely helpful replies.

I've taken hand cream in for her already because her hands had become really dry in hospital, I hadn't thought of lip balm though. She loves the food in the home, although sometimes she thinks she's been for lunch in the local pub! FIL also has his Sunday lunch and tea there, which is nice for them both.

I've shown her my Kindle but she wasn't really impressed with it! I think she'll be fine going back to reading books once she gets her reading glasses back.

I think the reason she's down is that she feels like she's in limbo. She sees her OH going home every day and she still can't quite understand why she can't just go with him. Some days she thinks he's fallen out with her and gone off in a huff!

It's tricky because she thinks she's going to be going home soon but the way that she is, I can't see that happening.

belfastgirl23

Is there anyone involved with your MILs care who might be able to build some rapport with your SFIL? If there is history between him and your husband and other family members, maybe you need a third party to intervene with a sole focus on your MILs well being. Your MIL would benefit from having familiar things around her, they may well help to jog her memory which could mean she gets home faster. Perhaps if someone independent put that to him he might be able to respond better?

You are being a lovely DIL though you may just have to go about things in a slightly underhand way...

Kynthia

My nan was in a home for six months. We also brought in some ornaments and china dolls, got her a big telly, made sure she had biscuits and chocolates, etc. She loved looking out in the garden at the birds and squirrels, so the home let her pay for a bird table to be put near her window. Also she liked a tipple so she had some baileys/Southern Comfort and some glasses.