Daydream thread... without the rose-tinted specs

lostinrates

Ooooh and its the solstice tomorrow......

Davesnave

All our new Fenton Blue hens are laying now.

Blue eggs? Not one, but 5/6 produce various shades of greeen to olive shades. The other one just does light brown, but compensates by having the friendliest personality.

Davesnave

I was born in London and lived out the first 8 years of my life there. Technically, I'm a Cockney Sparrer.

I returned to London just after the Summer Of Love and stayed for two years. I even remember some of it!;):rotfl:

At the tender age of 20, I felt that 2 years was enough. I didn't find it as impersonal as some people did, as the young people I knew generally stuck together well. We were outsiders and often taken advantage of by older people. e.g. landlords and the police. My problem was just feeling totally isolated from the countryside. I would ride on trains after work to see a few fields.:o

When I came down to Devon to see my folks, they'd pick me up from one of the two stations very near here. It was a huge contrast leaving the heaving platforms of Paddington and arriving three hours later in total darkness, on a platform only long enough for two carriages! No lights, no bustle, just an old whiskery guy showing people the way out with his lantern.

Itismehonest

lostinrates wrote: »

I think the question has to be why did you leave pheobe?


Personally I like both. If I had to choose it would be outside cities, and I like my cities Capitol or commensurate with that culturally. For us access to culture, airports for family and (before the no travel things for me) travel were essential. For DH the travel still will be a feature of work and family life. Hopefully they will be for me again.

I felt great last time in London (also went to liberty, lol, sadly I was too beat to leave the ground floor:( ) but recognised I was glad it wasn't part of my daily grind but wished it were a monthly ritual. A change in the 'norm' is always energising, as is seeing old pleasures and the changes on them. Not getting to London often its easier for me to see the changes in it in a short time Its not the London it was even five years ago, and certainly not fifteen years ago. I was quite impressed with somethings this time tbh. <snip>

I think this is very true.

I spent the first third of my life in & around London - lived just outside but regularly (indeed daily for some years) in London.

I haven't been back there at all for 5 years & not regularly for many more.
Both London & I have changed. Where once it was 'home', I no longer feel safe there but it's because both London & myself have changed.

The culture & shopping found outside the large cities, & particularly London, is all but non-existent & really can't compete. It's particularly noticeable at times like this, Christmas, when you want to buy something a little different & it's only the same old, same old available.

Most of our cities & towns (even many of the smaller market towns) have become dirty, rough & intimidating. Drugs & drink are rife everywhere (never believe they are just urban problems - they're not. It's just more visible in towns). Many places just look 'poor'.

There are towns & cities on the continent where I think I could live but, over here, no. However, everything in the UK revolves around its' cities while the country folk have become increasingly forgotten & the countryside now looked on as little more than a playground for the urbanites.

Moan over :rotfl:

lostinrates

Actually, I was quite impressed with some things recently itsme. .

My father still complains about the state of parking in London. As a you g man he could of course park easily anywhere. Rofl. I don't remember that. But it is getting a bit harder to find somewhere to park to go out in the evening. Night buses are not ever going to feature in my evenings out again, taxis are prohibitive.


I'd like a rural scooter man.

Infact, it would be a could business for young people near thriving towns.


We live near some thriving "weekend' and/or lifestyle style towns and cities, and I'm encouraging non res parent to look at them.

The crime isn't so bad, the culture is good, the back up here is good. Some of the equivalent in Europe the back up is NOT great.

One of my main realisations living in Italy is that as a childless non Italian, (regardless of DH) I did not want to grow old there. No way.

The town country split is BIGGER IMO in some of Europe I know, And has been bigger here in our past. I think we just learn to make the most of it.

lostinrates

In fact, yes, the areas that have a rep as ' cool' places to have a second or lifestyle home do rather better than areas like where I live now I would say. More wealth per head, better employment figures.

Itismehonest

lostinrates wrote: »

Actually, I was quite impressed with some things recently itsme. .

My father still complains about the state of parking in London. As a you g man he could of course park easily anywhere. Rofl. I don't remember that. But it is getting a bit harder to find somewhere to park to go out in the evening. Night buses are not ever going to feature in my evenings out again, taxis are prohibitive.


I'd like a rural scooter man.

Infact, it would be a could business for young people near thriving towns.


We live near some thriving "weekend'm style towns and cities, and I'm encouraging non res parent to look at them.

The crime isn't so bad, the culture is good, the back up here is good. Some of the equivalent in Europe the back up is NOT great.

One of my main realisations living in Italy is that as a childless non Italian, (regardless of DH) I did not want to grow old there. No way.

Yes, they are still much more family-minded over there so the nonni are more likely to be living with the family, If there's no family, it's obviously more of a problem.
However, something in the Italian make-up (possibly the memory of a few cuffs around the ear from mamma or the ingrained sermons from the pulpit ) seems to mean they have retained a higher level of respect for the elderly, & others needing help, which has been lost here. I wish the British train travelling youngsters were as quick to leap to my aid lifting & moving luggage as the Italian kids.

Milan is more akin to London than many other parts of Italy, though, IMO. It's very much a business city which looks on the other end of the country as lazy.

Parking isn't something I, personally, worry about in London as public transport has always been readily available. Bus, tube & train were always the way I got around there. Obviously, this becomes more of a problem if mobility is an issue.
However, getting around anywhere in the countryside if mobility is compromised is an issue, too.

lostinrates

Itismehonest wrote: »

Yes, they are still much more family-minded over there so the nonni are more likely to be living with the family, If there's no family, it's obviously more of a problem.
However, something in the Italian make-up (possibly the memory of a few cuffs around the ear from mamma or the ingrained sermons from the pulpit ) seems to mean they have retained a higher level of respect for the elderly, & others needing help, which has been lost here. I wish the British train travelling youngsters were as quick to leap to my aid lifting & moving luggage as the Italian kids.

Milan is more akin to London than many other parts of Italy, though, IMO. It's very much a business city which looks on the other end of the country as lazy.

Parking isn't something I, personally, worry about in London as public transport has always been readily available. Bus, tube & train were always the way I got around there. Obviously, this becomes more of a problem if mobility is an issue.
However, getting around anywhere in the countryside if mobility is compromised is an issue, too.

I don't agree. Its much, much more common now for nonni to live in residential units than it used to be. (Not like here, but increasingly) This is the age of the working woman in Italy too. But they are still included in family life, you are right, and visited and loved. We lived In milan, but DH is from near Florence. (He went to school in Florence but his home was actually between Florence and sienna) so its there his old social group is. And the similarity exists. Similarly, I was visited this week (and will be tomorrow) by a friend from viareggio. I know in his family the older ones are in residential units.

Domestic abuse in Italy is shocking (one of my first good friends of my own not through DH, was an a and e doctor) and the 'family take care of their own and state doesn't intervene at first whiff' attitude means that children and the elderly suffer tremendously, but no one intervenes because its 'family business'. Hospitals are required to have three alerts before calling social services. In Milan, for example, there are seven a and e depts, That means that by the time any agency step in there have been upto twentyone incidents bad enough to require hospital attention (or other accident where evidence of those is detected).

My generation of dh's colleagues aren't looking for Italian men in particular. . There are some really interesting social commentaries on this, or were when I was there and shortly afterward.

Itismehonest

lostinrates wrote: »

I don't agree. Its much, much more common now for nonni to live in residential units than it used to be. This is the age of the working woman in Italy too. But they are still included in family life, you are right, and visited and loved. We lived In milan, but DH is from near Florence. (He went to school in Florence but his home was actually between Florence and sienna) so its there his old social group is. And the similarity exists. Similarly, I was visited this week (and will be tomorrow) by a friend from viareggio. I know in his family the older ones are in residential units.

Domestic abuse in Italy is shocking (one of my first good friends of my own not through DH, was an a and e doctor) and the 'family take care of their own and state doesn't intervene at first whiff' attitude means that children and the elderly suffer tremendously, but no one intervenes because its 'family business'. Hospitals are required to have three alerts before calling social services. In Milan, for example, there are seven a and e depts, That means that by the time any agency step in there have been upto twentyone incidents bad enough to require hospital attention (or other accident where evidence of those is detected).

My generation of dh's colleagues aren't looking for Italian men in particular. . There are some really interesting social commentaries on this, or were when I was there and shortly afterward.

Yes, domestic violence is rife, I know. In many ways Italy is similar to the Britain of a few decades back which has its bad points as well as its' good. However, that's the Britain I grew up in. There were areas & people you knew to steer clear of but, on the whole, crime & anti-social behaviour were rare enough to make headlines.
I quite miss the days of men (let alone children) not swearing in front of women & definitely not in public. :cool:

If money, fluency of language etc. were no object I'd actually like to live in Monaco. That has nothing to do with snob value but because of security, climate, culture, facilities & travel access.
Yes, I know. Many of these things wouldn't exist were it not for Monaco's wealth....... climate & geographic position aside.

lostinrates

Itismehonest wrote: »

Yes, domestic violence is rife, I know. In many ways Italy is similar to the Britain of a few decades back which has its bad points as well as its' good. However, that's the Britain I grew up in. There were areas & people you knew to steer clear of but, on the whole, crime & anti-social behaviour were rare enough to make headlines.
I quite miss the days of men (let alone children) not swearing in front of women & definitely not in public. :cool:

If money, fluency of language etc. were no object I'd actually like to live in Monaco. That has nothing to do with snob value but because of security, climate, culture, facilities & travel access.
Yes, I know. Many of these things wouldn't exist were it not for Monaco's wealth....... climate & geographic position aside.

Ah, well, swearing in the streets IS common in Italy, but definitely frowned upon by the older generation. And certain types of antisocial behaviour (public drunken ness etc ) are rare. True. But then you have the other things.....the heavy pushing of certain sort of things around mainly tourist areas. V. Antisocial when you live there!


Some crime in Italy doesn't make headlines simply because....it doesn't. Its odd.

There are pockets of (expensive) England where (climate aside) what you describe is possible IMO. Central Bath isn't far off. Some excitement in the streets and certainly some dodgier patches.....davesnave will know more than me I'm sure, but also some bits where you can pretend its not 'our country' Even pockets of London. But one needs the wealth of Croesus really. Ona. Smaller scale, lots of nice villages, certainly London and bath satalites, Cotswold places. Personally, those sort of places aren't quite for me, I find them a little claustrophobic tbh.:o. I know, I'm odd.




Monaco would be fun! I'm not sure it would do me to live there, but I'd ask if I could come and visit maybe! :rotfl: DH has an old friend with benefits whose family live in Monaco. I'm not in a rush to visit her, the whole lot of the boys liked her at uni.