My Partner said she has lost her feelings for me - what can I do?

paulineb_2

There was a post earlier about how she made a move on him and he rejected her. I would hazard a guess that people dont want to be turned down

I have to say, if I was with someone and they had sex with me a handful of times in 2 years I would think the relationship was in massive trouble

A few times in a couple of years isnt too often, its hardly anything
Ive been in relationships where the sex has dwindled but the relationship was already in trouble

It shouldnt be a case of someone having to make the first move, if you love someone and you share a bed with them every night of the week surely having sex should be natural?

Not something someone has to ask for. I cant imagine being with someone for a couple of years and only wanting to sleep with them a few times, work or no work.

Valli

Mojisola wrote: »

It's good that you both have the chance to mend your relationship but don't take on all the responsibility for putting things right.

Why hasn't she said something over the last two years?

Has she been caring and loving towards you during this time?

Has she really not tried to initiate intimacy over that time?

You're planning things to show you still love her - what is she doing to express her feelings for you?

This - why didn't she say anything?

Mojisola

paulineb wrote: »

I have to say, if I was with someone and they had sex with me a handful of times in 2 years I would think the relationship was in massive trouble

But there are two people involved - neither of them had sex with the other one! If one wasn't happy with this, there's been plenty of time to speak up.

swingaloo

DiiFMaritime wrote: »

My partner and I have been together for over 6 years now. I felt that she is increasingly distant of late and when I tried to make a move on her a few days ago, she said she was uneasy and refused. Alarm bells started ringing and we had a long chat and I finally realised the problem - for the past 2 years we have only had sex a handful times. She cried as she said why have I just realised the problem. She felt I was no longer attracted to her and didn't love her anymore. She said she has lost her feelings for me and felt distant.

It broke my heart to hear it as I had no idea I neglected her and the damaged I had done. I love her very much and I want to make amends but she said she need some time.

I know I can't push her into accepting me as I can imagine it had been very hard for her and it is completely my fault that our relationship gets to this stage. What can I do that won't alienate her but will help repair the relationship?

Your advise / experience will be much appreciated

That line worries me. I would be wanting my partner to show affection, not 'make a move on me'.

DiiFMaritime

tea_lover wrote: »

I think making time to really communicate with each other again will work wonders - probably more so than planning lots of activities.

Yep, totally agree. Will to try to grab some time with her this weekend for another proper chat:)

DiiFMaritime

With regards to the comments about whether she tried to initiate sex,

She works from home, she often goes to bed quite late (1am/ 2am) whereas I go to bed early due to having an office-based job. I only recall her ever tried to initiate when I was half asleep which I would have refused:o

DiiFMaritime

Stephb1986 wrote: »

Maybe suggest a date night once a month or what ever where you go to the cinema or what ever?

Thanks Steph, we go to the cinema every week (That's Orange Wednesday's fault:rotfl:) But a date night would be good - probably a romatic meal somewhere:)

DiiFMaritime

paulineb wrote: »

There was a post earlier about how she made a move on him and he rejected her. I would hazard a guess that people dont want to be turned down

It was me who tried to make a move and got turned down:o

Mojisola

DiiFMaritime wrote: »

With regards to the comments about whether she tried to initiate sex,

She works from home, she often goes to bed quite late (1am/ 2am) whereas I go to bed early due to having an office-based job. I only recall her ever tried to initiate when I was half asleep which I would have refused:o

If she was that bothered about not having sex, wouldn't she have managed to come to bed at the same time as you on a few occasions?

Gloomendoom

DiiFMaritime wrote: »

With regards to the comments about whether she tried to initiate sex,

She works from home, she often goes to bed quite late (1am/ 2am) whereas I go to bed early due to having an office-based job. I only recall her ever tried to initiate when I was half asleep which I would have refused:o

Lousy excuse.

My wife goes to bed a lot earlier than me (3-5 hours) but we still have a very active sex life (I can't believe I'm typing this on an open forum.)