Ex wife in my house with new partner

tesuhoha

Just a quick comment. Your wife has a man living with her and she is pregnant. Sue her for adultery now before you come into your inheritance.

POPPYOSCAR

Get that divorce as quick as you can.

Do not be fobbed off.

monty-doggy

I wish it were that easy. The money is arriving very soon. I'm sure if I get a decent solicitor that she won't get it. I'm told as long as she never has a penny of it then she isn't entitled. She's received money in the years we've been separated and dumped our kids on me and been off on expensive holidays. (One time she failed to pay mortgage three months running and went to turkey)


The sad thing is, when she isn't being selfish or a total idiot, she is a good mum in general. I know she isn't perfect but our kids are very well mannered, happy and balanced. I'd like to keep it that way and just get the divorce, house and finances sorted.

I don't really want to drag it all up in court but if I have to I will.

pinkshoes

I can't see how she's entitled to a penny of the inheritance.

Divorce her for adultary, get rid of the house. It will be money well spent to be free of her!

You could always go for full custody, then she won't need the house! Offer this as one of the solutions, or point out that her new man is able to pay for their rent somewhere!

You are NOT responsible for any finances for this other child.

You do realise CSA would only make you pay 5/7ths of the 20% as you have them two nights a week?

paulineb_2

pinkshoes wrote: »

I can't see how she's entitled to a penny of the inheritance.

Divorce her for adultary, get rid of the house. It will be money well spent to be free of her!

You could always go for full custody, then she won't need the house! Offer this as one of the solutions, or point out that her new man is able to pay for their rent somewhere!

You are NOT responsible for any finances for this other child.

You do realise CSA would only make you pay 5/7ths of the 20% as you have them two nights a week?

Why would you advise someone who has just said that his ex partner is a good mum to go for full custody of the kids so she wont need the house?

What these kids want is important as well and yes it sounds like a mess but that mess needs to be sorted with proper legal advice.

I have a family friend who has just left her ex partner and they are in the middle of a legal fight, all down to him because he wont pay maintenance and hes also trying to poison the 3 year old child against his mum.

Its damaging enough sometimes without ex partners trying to throw dirt at one another and I appreciate also that sometimes people are justified in being appalled at the way the other person is behaving, but you dont apply for custody to try and stop an ex partner getting something.

The family I know, the dad has no interest in custody, his older son doesnt even want to see him, but the dad is fighting anyway to try and cause her as much stress as possible.

Legal advice and some kind of mediation if possible. I dont think in legal matters, regardless of how badly some people have been treated that for any of us and I count myself in that to say, do this, do that.

Its childrens lives were are talking about here, they arent there just to be shuttled between one partner and another because of financial issues or difficulties the parents might be having with one another.

And I agree the OP isnt being treated well, but he needs legal advice asap.

paulineb_2

monty-doggy wrote: »

I know she over claims on tax credits too. She claims the kids are with childminder at a cost of £150 a week per child, when in actual fact they go to after school club which costs £45 a week in total.

Her own sister tried to report her when they fell out but apparently there isn't a set department to deal with it and nothing was done about it. I've no doubt she is claiming other benefits she isn't entitled to and I know she isn't declaring her partner living with her. She is in debt up to her eyes, my partner sat with her when the mortgage company sent round someone to assess the situation and helped her with the CAB to do a payment plan for all her debts.

Both my partner and I have helped her so much but it's got to stop now.

I'm livid she wants half of my inheritance. Although after six years apart surely she has no claim on that now!

If shes still your wife she may be legally entitled to it.
And that is why you need to see a lawyer. And I appreciate she has dragged things out, but youve been separated 6 years, you could have started divorce proceedings sooner.

The stuff regarding working tax credits and her moving her new partner in doesnt have anything to do with this situation, unless you want to report her, but thats something youd need to deal with and it could have a knock on effect to your kids (and Im not saying what shes doing is right, but theres no point being upset about something unless you are prepared to do something about it). And also deal with how you might feel afterwards.

What reasons do you have to fight for full custody? Because shes not good with money? Other reasons?

Are the kids well looked after by her? Just be aware that if you do launch a bid for full custody, well as you said, you may have to stand up in court and try to evidence that shes not a good mum and if you do it, I hope you are doing it for the right reasons, ie concerned that they arent being well cared for by her.

I can understand why you are angry about a lot of this situation, but you've had years to try and move this forward and rather than waste your energy on her and the way she conducts herself, I think you'd be better placed on trying to move forward to try and end this marriage legally and concentrate on your kids, whether thats sole custody, joint or leaving the arrangement as it is at the moment.

And yes she sounds like shes in a mess and yes it must be frustrating that you are on some level having to financially prop her up, but thats why you need to get some proper legal advice about how to move on, even if its one meeting with a lawyer and you then decide to try and put the wheels in motion yourself.

monty-doggy

paulineb wrote: »

If shes still your wife she may be legally entitled to it.
And that is why you need to see a lawyer. And I appreciate she has dragged things out, but youve been separated 6 years, you could have started divorce proceedings sooner.

I stated above I've started divorce proceedings before but she dragged it out and I couldn't afford the legal bills. Now I'm going to try again.
The stuff regarding working tax credits and her moving her new partner in doesnt have anything to do with this situation, unless you want to report her, but thats something youd need to deal with and it could have a knock on effect to your kids (and Im not saying what shes doing is right, but theres no point being upset about something unless you are prepared to do something about it). And also deal with how you might feel afterwards.

i agree, I am not going to report it as its messy enough, it just infuriates me she is manipulating money everywhere she can, and my kids are not seeing the benefit

What reasons do you have to fight for full custody? Because shes not good with money? Other reasons?

im not fighting for custody, I do t believe this is in the kids best interests at the moment. She is appalling in every way possible but she is a good mum o our kids even if she doesn't provide for them as I think she should.

Are the kids well looked after by her? Just be aware that if you do launch a bid for full custody, well as you said, you may have to stand up in court and try to evidence that shes not a good mum and if you do it, I hope you are doing it for the right reasons, ie concerned that they arent being well cared for by her.

I can understand why you are angry about a lot of this situation, but you've had years to try and move this forward and rather than waste your energy on her and the way she conducts herself, I think you'd be better placed on trying to move forward to try and end this marriage legally and concentrate on your kids, whether thats sole custody, joint or leaving the arrangement as it is at the moment.

And yes she sounds like shes in a mess and yes it must be frustrating that you are on some level having to financially prop her up, but thats why you need to get some proper legal advice about how to move on, even if its one meeting with a lawyer and you then decide to try and put the wheels in motion yourself.

Looks like I'm gong to end up paying a lot out, but no option really.

pigpen

This might sound daft (and a little tiny bit dishonest ) but... is there someone else you trust implicitly who could put your inheritance money in their bank account so it isn't showing as 'yours'??? A sibling or your partner maybe? If the money never hits your bank account in effect you've not had or got it. If she can fraud the benefits system you can sneakily keep your money... I'd report her too.. but then I got was reported by KH for scamming the system.. apparently I was claiming OH wasn't living here when he was.. fortunately I was doing everything above board He has also got his current slapper to report me to SS which was laughable.

I was entitled to 1/2 of KH's redundancy money.. for some unknown reason I declined.. it wasn't worth arguing over.. I had what I wanted.. rid of him and my childrens happiness. I think, reading other peoples stories, I let him get off pretty lightly if I am honest!!

I believe there is a guide on here somewhere on how to do your own divorce which you may find helpful.

monty-doggy

I did think of that too.

She knows I'm getting something because she is nosy and found out, but its coming in small payments, so of say a small payment hit my account, and I use that to fund the divorce it would be gone anyway!

Ettenna

My nearly ex husband is living in our fmh with his new partner, her child and their child together. I am living in rented with our youngest daughter (16). What I want is for the house to be sold and then we can both buy/rent something of our own. The cost of him renting a house would be two thirds of the cost of the mortgage he is currently paying.