Ex wife in my house with new partner

Mumto3cheekymonkeys

I hate women like this, it makes the rest of us look bad! I would sell up, at worse if she is homless the children could stay with you could they not? Atleast until she was settled in another place? She is treating you like a mug and your paying for her new baby with another man! When me and my partner got a house with a low mortgage that I could afford on my own ( he inherited property which put a large deposit down for our new joint home), he agreed in the event of separation I could keep the house, so I said that I was happy to recieve no matience but help with clothes school trips etc which we both feel is a fair deal, our children should not suffer and we won't have issues about financial matters. Massive respect to you for making your children number one!

Toto

Mumto3cheekymonkeys wrote: »

I hate women like this, it makes the rest of us look bad! I would sell up, at worse if she is homless the children could stay with you could they not? Atleast until she was settled in another place? She is treating you like a mug and your paying for her new baby with another man! When me and my partner got a house with a low mortgage that I could afford on my own ( he inherited property which put a large deposit down for our new joint home), he agreed in the event of separation I could keep the house, so I said that I was happy to recieve no matience but help with clothes school trips etc which we both feel is a fair deal, our children should not suffer and we won't have issues about financial matters. Massive respect to you for making your children number one!

This is what we do with my husband's ex. She got the house (he had put down the large deposit). We asked her for nothing for the house. Now we pay her a nominal amount each month (which really is intended to be allowance money for the child). But, we do buy his daughter clothes, pay for trips/clubs etc.

monty-doggy

She is awful. I could talk all day about all the stunts she has pulled. My fear is in going to court, she will ignore letters or respond with unreasonable demands in order to make it unaffordable for me to pursue it.

We've been separated six years, I've been with my partner for five. She has had countless relationships and claimed to be pregnant by most of them, although this time there is scans to prove it.

I am due some Inheritance and she has even stated that as we are still married she wants half of it.

I feel like I can't win because the only people who lose out are our children. I'd be happy to let her stay there if I knew she wouldn't keep defaulting, and sell the house when my youngest is 18. When. Suggested this she said that as she's been living there and made minor improvements (a lick of paint) and paying the mortgage (interest only, she is too stupid to realise there will be a debt) she wants the split upon sale to be 80/20 in her favour.

In the whole time we were together she never worked because she had our children. We paid 30k into the house which was hard as i wasnt on the best wage but i was careful and worked every hour i could to provide it, and I offered to walk away if her father would help her buy the property but even he refused as he knows what she is like!

pigpen

LOL... I bet my knobhead ex posted stuff like this had he been able to write.

No the courts won't force a sale because the children live there.

You need to write to the credit places.. Equifax or whatever with a notice of disassociation so they will not take her credit record into account with yours, though this won't make any difference to the mortgage as it is a joint debt.

What we did.. joint mortgage, I now have our 6 children living here, there were 7 when he left. We agreed through the courts he would not pay maintenance and I would not pursue a claim for 2 years after he left in the grounds he would sign the deeds of the house solely into my name.. this means the mortgage is still in both names but the actual house is mine alone. If I default on the mortgage they can pursue either/both of us for the balance but essentially it is my responsibility.

4.5 years down the line I am STILL waiting for a payment from him.. he makes no contribution at all in any form for the children.. no clothes, trips etc.. not a penny.

He in the meantime has got a mortgage on another house so it is possible for you to get another mortgage.. (I think his is with Halifax )

The pregnancy will not make the slightest bit of difference in terms of divorce or your responsibility to the house. I was pregnant when the majority of our court decisions were made, the baby was born in the August, 2 months before the divorce was finalised in the October, and the financial stuff was sorted the following April.

If what you are saying is the absolute truth I would go for joint custody or sole custody of the children with evidence you are providing for the children and the mortgage etc.

Oh... and you can divorce her on the grounds of adultery with this guy she is living with.. it should be straight forward enough and should have been done ages ago.. why are you still tied to her through the marriage if you have this level of contempt for her? Get it sorted!

monty-doggy

pigpen wrote: »

LOL... I bet my knobhead ex posted stuff like this had he been able to write.

No the courts won't force a sale because the children live there.

thats ok with me but what about the child that isn't mine, do I have to wait until that child is 18 too?

You need to write to the credit places.. Equifax or whatever with a notice of disassociation so they will not take her credit record into account with yours, though this won't make any difference to the mortgage as it is a joint debt.

What we did.. joint mortgage, I now have our 6 children living here, there were 7 when he left. We agreed through the courts he would not pay maintenance and I would not pursue a claim for 2 years after he left in the grounds he would sign the deeds of the house solely into my name.. this means the mortgage is still in both names but the actual house is mine alone. If I default on the mortgage they can pursue either/both of us for the balance but essentially it is my responsibility.

4.5 years down the line I am STILL waiting for a payment from him.. he makes no contribution at all in any form for the children.. no clothes, trips etc.. not a penny.
i more than provide, I even send spending money for them and have paid money into her gas and electric per pay meter when she runs out because the kids end up sat in the cold and dark
He in the meantime has got a mortgage on another house so it is possible for you to get another mortgage.. (I think his is with Halifax )
with 9 mortgage defaults on my file no one will give me a mortgage, I've tried.
The pregnancy will not make the slightest bit of difference in terms of divorce or your responsibility to the house. I was pregnant when the majority of our court decisions were made, the baby was born in the August, 2 months before the divorce was finalised in the October, and the financial stuff was sorted the following April.

If what you are saying is the absolute truth I would go for joint custody or sole custody of the children with evidence you are providing for the children and the mortgage etc.
its all true. Yes I've rowed with her until I'm blue in the face but I have never not provided. I can't go for custody because she isn't neglecting them, starving them or beating them. I've tried. When we went to court I had to fight her to get the access I have now! Plus I need to work full time to provide a home and cost of living. I don't want to take them away from their mum, I don't believe this would help things at the moment.

Oh... and you can divorce her on the grounds of adultery with this guy she is living with.. it should be straight forward enough and should have been done ages ago.. why are you still tied to her through the marriage if you have this level of contempt for her? Get it sorted!

I tried to divorce her four years ago, she got legal aid and fought everything I said and it cost me a fortune, I couldn't afford to carry on with it at that time. We can divorce on the grounds of five years separation, but I worry she will drag out the finances bit and I may not be able to afford the legal bill.

Brighton_belle

pigpen wrote: »

He in the meantime has got a mortgage on another house so it is possible for you to get another mortgage.. (I think his is with Halifax )

Presumably your ex didn't have a bad credit history because you hadn't defaulted on mortgage payments?
The OP would have had great difficulty, as he said, in getting a mortgage with his credit history tarnished like this.

OP I do think you need to see a solicitor again to confirm whether your (still) wife's change in circs alters anything.

FBaby

Oh yes a judge could order the sale of the house. What they would consider is she could reasonably, within her new relationship accommodate the children appropriately without too much disturbance. If it is deemed that they could afford to rent a property large enough then a judge could very well rule in favour of the OP especially after he can prove the defaults and the affect it had on his credit rating and concern this will have on his future. She can't expect protection that comes to single parent now she is in a new relationship.

pigpen

monty-doggy wrote: »

I tried to divorce her four years ago, she got legal aid and fought everything I said and it cost me a fortune, I couldn't afford to carry on with it at that time. We can divorce on the grounds of five years separation, but I worry she will drag out the finances bit and I may not be able to afford the legal bill.

Represent yourself! She can't really deny the adultery though can she when she is now pregnant.. I think that is a fairly conclusive piece of evidence! .. This was the one reason I got in to divorce him first.. I was pregnant, I divorced him on unreasonable behaviour rather than the adultery I would have been more than able to go with.. I just wanted to get in first due to my control freak type behaviour

You have no responsibility for the child/ren that are not yours. They are not taken in account at all for anything relating to your marriage.

You can go for joint custody, and there is no way getting contact for your children is that hard when they try to maintain contact with abusive, alcoholic parents.. they have a base line access you are usually given if nothing else. So either she lied or your solicitor was a total pile of dung.

We don't have a contact order though as I am happy for them to go whenever they want, it is him that doesn't want them any more than he will .. every other weekend and 1 evening after school for 2-3 hours for dinner. They are regularly bumped for more important things like nights out and helping people move house etc.

Brighton_belle wrote: »

Presumably your ex didn't have a bad credit history because you hadn't defaulted on mortgage payments?
The OP would have had great difficulty, as he said, in getting a mortgage with his credit history tarnished like this.

OP I do think you need to see a solicitor again to confirm whether your (still) wife's change in circs alters anything.

We have horrific credit history due to a previous repossession, 2x recent CCJ's and a variety of other defaults

monty-doggy

I know she over claims on tax credits too. She claims the kids are with childminder at a cost of £150 a week per child, when in actual fact they go to after school club which costs £45 a week in total.

Her own sister tried to report her when they fell out but apparently there isn't a set department to deal with it and nothing was done about it. I've no doubt she is claiming other benefits she isn't entitled to and I know she isn't declaring her partner living with her. She is in debt up to her eyes, my partner sat with her when the mortgage company sent round someone to assess the situation and helped her with the CAB to do a payment plan for all her debts.

Both my partner and I have helped her so much but it's got to stop now.

I'm livid she wants half of my inheritance. Although after six years apart surely she has no claim on that now!

monty-doggy

I have good access now. I have them every single weekend, all bank holidays, a week at Easter, a week in the summer holidays, from 22nd dec until 3rd jan apart from half day Xmas day when they see mum and I take them dancing every Monday night.

Self representing might be an option didn't think of that, will look into it, thanks!

I'd have my kids full time if I could, but I have to work to keep a roof over our heads. And they are so young, they'd miss their mum and that's not fair on them. As much as I despise her, kids will unconditionally love their mum and I don't want them growing up thinking I was wrong to her or took them away.

When they are old enough, they can come and go as they please.