Ex wife in my house with new partner

monty-doggy

Hello

My ex wife lives in a house which we joint own. She has our three children 5 nights I have them every weekend plus extra in the holidays.

I pay maintenance to her every month without fail.

She has defaulted on the mortgage nine times in fourteen months, despite me paying her maintenance every month. This means my credit rating is in bits and I can't get a mortgage of my own, my partner has had to buy in her name only.
Last year the house my ex wife is in was almost repossessed however she consolidated the arrears onto the end of the mortgage.

She is paying interest only on the mortgage and isn't going to change it to repayment.

She spends the money I give her on nights out, and last week rang me to ask when her money is going in the bank as she needs it for a night out! I barely ever see her spending money on our children, I buy all their clothes and school shoes, coats, school trips etc.
She is 9 weeks pregnant to her new bf and has already bought a cot, buggy, clothes, nappies, toys, wipes, baby skin care and loads of other stuff according to my children.

We have been separated for six years, not yet divorced as she has dragged it out.

I am about to commence divorce proceedings.

We have been told she can't take over the mortgage on her own as she has very bad credit history and doesn't earn enough, neither does her partner, so I'm stuck on the mortgage unless its sold or repossessed.

She moved her partner of a year into the house ten months ago. I was told this could be a trigger point for forcing a sale on the house, however I don't wish to make my children homeless.

As part of the divorce i want a clause that forces the house to be sold on my youngest child reaching 18.

As She is now pregnant to her new bf, Does this mean she will have the right to stay in the house Until that child is 18?

I want to be able to break free from her but don't see how I can at the moment!

Any help appreciated.

tight_scotsman

wow what a mess mate cant give you any advice exept i would get myself a decent lawyer . good on ya for putting your kids first good luck hope it all works out for you

monty-doggy

Thanks. It's already cost me 4k in legal fees to get access to my kids. When I started seeing my new partner she refused to let me have them, and I had to go to court. It's one huge mess!

pinkshoes

Are you paying the mortgage directly or giving her the money to pay it?

As your credit rating is already screwed, either stop paying the mortgage and let it be repossessed (is there any equity?) Or force a sale given she now has a new partner to support her.

You support your children, not her, and not the new baby!

As he's moved in, perhaps they should be paying rent for the property and use the money to pay the rent.

FBaby

Why would your children be homeless if you force the sale? They won't be. At best they will use the equity to buy something else, or if they can't afford to buy together, they will be able to put a deposit on a rental place. If they are on low income, they will be able to claim plenty of benefits with 4 children to care for.

I think you are brave to be prepared to wait years with her defaulting more than half of the time on the mortgage on just over 12 months. As you, I was told by a solicitor that judges are sympathetic to pwcs keeping the house for the sake of the children, but not after they settle in another relationship.

She needs to move on and break away from any financial link with you as much as you do too (besides maintenance of course).

prowla

Good on you for putting the kids first. (And buying their clothes and things means you know that they get it!)

The stupid woman has wasted £000s of your money in lawyers fees.

If you are paying the mortgage then why not pay it directly and stop her getting her hands on the money?

Does her new partner contribute?

The divorce should put a line under things.

monty-doggy

There isn't any equity, she pays the mortgage direct. Since she consolidated the arrears and knows how close she came to repossession she hasn't defaulted at all.

Her new partner pays her money to live there.

Would the courts really side with me and let the house be sold? I've been told by a solicitor it's very unlikely.
How much could she drag that out and cost me in court and solicitors fees? If I knew it could be forced, I'd don't and pay a deposit on a rented place for them if need be.

She is greedy, the Interest only is less than £300 a month. Rented for them all will be around 600 a,month unless they get onto the council.

The thing is she gave up a cracking house, just to spite me and move back into the house.

She says the kids will be homeless, but they will a,ways have a home with me, either temporary while she finds a house or permanant if she doesn't.

pinkshoes

How much do you earn, and what percentage of this are you handing over? It seems very unfair that you can't move on with your life now she has a new man supporting her.

I would suggest she has to pay market value rent for the house!

monty-doggy

I earn 1450 a month after tax. She gets 20% of my salary plus I buy clothes shoes and pay for coats and school trips.

At my house its set up as if they live with me. Clothes, toys lovely bedrooms.

I have to provide everything here because when I send them home with new clothes or shoes I never see them again.

What do you mean pay rent? To who?

pinkshoes

monty-doggy wrote: »

I earn 1450 a month after tax. She gets 20% of my salary plus I buy clothes shoes and pay for coats and school trips.

At my house its set up as if they live with me. Clothes, toys lovely bedrooms.

I have to provide everything here because when I send them home with new clothes or shoes I never see them again.

What do you mean pay rent? To who?

It's fair enough letting her just pay a token amount towards the mortgage if it was just her and the kids living there, but now her partner is also there, then it's not fair that she should have such cheap cost of living.

If you rented the house out, you would get potentially £600 a month, so she (they) should be paying £600 rent, of which £300 pays the mortgage interest, then £150 each. (so she gets £150 back...). So ultimately, she/they should be paying you £150 a month to live there.

You NEED to get financial separation so you can move on with your life. You need to make it so that she has no financial incentive to stay in that house.

When a solicitor told you that you had no chance of this happening, was that before or after she had another man supporting her?

monty-doggy

It was before. My concern Is now she is pregnant they will side with her.
She'd never agree to pay me rent, is that something the court would consider? I could put that away for my kids or for next time something doesn't get paid.