A bit embarrassing but need some advice

chirpychick

I really don't think he is cheating, during our chat he thought that I was going to leave him and got very upset, he goes to and from work and mostly we spend the rest of the time together (through choice!!).

Also it's not physical in the sense of he can't get it up - he can, its just the not feeling in the mood because he is so tired.

I also did have a very traumatic birth but he is insistent that it wasn't an effect on him.

We talked about having a 2nd child because I asked if he did want another and to be honest even if he thought it might be upsetting and he said "yes definitely, but not yet".

I took over a couple of his household chores and he went to bed early last night.

I have suggested he go to see the gp but he isn't that keen (very normal for him) i will encourage it without nagging though.
Thanks for the helpful comments.

Bazey

Buy a dildo.

System

Bazey wrote: »

Buy a dildo.

Trust you to lower the tone :rotfl:

tayforth

mumps wrote: »

I agree, I have big age gap with my children, with the first dad was definitely not allowed in delivery room, second he could stay, third he was encouraged to stay, fourth he had to stay. I like to labour alone in dimly lit room, midwife popping in occasionally to see how I am. The horror from hospital staff that I didn't want him there for the whole production was quite unpleasant. He was happy to go with what I wanted and in the end he arrived just in time to see the delivery but without me feeling I had to chat or interact with anyone for the hours, and hours, leading up to the main event.

It is funny how it starts off wich a rejection of rigid rules and end up with ................. a different set of rigid rules.

OMG is this true? That the hospital insists that the father has to be in the delivery room???

fawd1

tayforth wrote: »

OMG is this true? That the hospital insists that the father has to be in the delivery room???

No. It is absolutely up to the mother who she wants in the delivery room. The only rule when I had my two (youngest is coming up to 3) was that there should be a maximum of 2 people at the birth.

rpc

GP without question. He's at risk of so many things at that age and weight.

If he does have sleep apnea, it wouldn't matter if he slept 2 hours or 20. He'd still feel the same - my BIL has it. Then there's diabetes and other things that have been mentioned.

Whatever it is, the first step is the same. Your GP!

daffie

Maybe he is feeling a bit jealous or left out? Or perhaps he finds it difficult to reconcile your role as a mother with the role as sexual partner? Perhaps some time alone somewhere nice without the baby might allow him to see you as a desirable woman again? Romantic meal, dressing up, time to talk without baby interruptions and not surrounded by baby paraphernalia... Got to be worth a try. BTW I don't think his work hours and the things he does at home sound onerous at all!

jtr2803

OP,

I won't focus on the medical side of things as that's already been mentioned but I just wanted to add........

That there are some men out there who just don't have a sex drive, although it's more frequently heard of in women. That doesn't mean he doesn't love you, doesn't think you are attractive, is cheating, or has anything medically wrong with him. He may just not have that 'urge'!

If you search the internet for it you will find many stories from women who feel exactly as you do, it's more common than you may think but just not generally talked about. If that is the case then it's not something that can be fixed per se, it can be managed and it doesn't have to be the make or break in a relationship but it is important that it's at least acknowledged and discussed in an adult way rather than swept under the carpet and ignored.

Best of luck

custardy

I'll be honest
IMO its most likely the weight and his age

AndyPK

I'm sure with a 6 month old baby your both knackered.

Shouldn't you wait till the baby is 1 yo before trying for another.