Partners Cat is Mental

zaxdog

I'd get rid of you before the cat. Your comments of "this thing" don't exactly make you sound like an animal lover.

If you had a kid with issues like this would you want to get it PTS or try to find the reasons for the behaviour and look into treatments?

jungle_jane

OP to be honest it sounds like you've already made your mind up about what you want to happen and are not likely to listen to any advice other than 'get the cat put down'. I would be cautious of this approach if you value your relationship - not being funny, but many cat lovers would sooner dump you than get their cat put down. It would be better for all parties (including the cat) to at least give it a go at resolving.

I saw a few interesting programs by Jackson Galaxy, the cat behaviour guy. One of them was identical to your story. He had various ways of resolving - they built some cat shelves for the cat to retreat to...increased the number of litter trays and bought loads of toys for him to play with. I am sure if you look him up online you will find useful ways of resolving the behaviour. His website is here.

gettingready

Your partner has this cat since kitten for 4 years now - how long have YOU been with her?

You putting the children you do not yet have together above everything but my take on this is .. you are not going to stay together to have those children.

Your partner obviously loves that cat to put up with such behaviour for 4 years, my feel is you will not be taking the cat on a one way trip to the vets as you casually put it... My feel is YOU will be on a way way trip back to yours...

Fosterdog

Maybe I've missed it, but I don't think I've seen in the post whether the cat has been neutered or not?

So far you don't seem to want anyone giving helpful suggestions but just want to find a way to get rid of "it".

Also, I would trust a vet with medical advice but not with dietary or behavioural advice, they have very little training in these areas which is why there are specialists in dealing with these things so a second opinion would be worth it. It's the same as a human GP knows a little bit about a lot of things but for a specific problem we get a referral to an expert. Vets are no different.

balletshoes

Horizon81 wrote: »

True. But then again could you ever trust it? Even with some rehabilitation you'd never know what may trigger an attack, and who wants to live in fear, or fear of having friends and their families over to visit.

As for damaging the relationship, I guess it's a 2 way street.

Maybe she also needs re-evaluate her priorities.

Cat was there before you, no?

podperson

Horizon81 wrote: »

True. But then again could you ever trust it? Even with some rehabilitation you'd never know what may trigger an attack, and who wants to live in fear, or fear of having friends and their families over to visit.

As for damaging the relationship, I guess it's a 2 way street. Maybe she also needs re-evaluate her priorities.

So you think that she should prioritise her 'new' partner over an obviously loved pet that she has had for 4 years? But you still consider yourself an animal lover? I'm assuming you love her as you're already mentioning kids - so maybe try and accept that this pet is important to her rather than immediately jumping to the 'lets put it down' option.
Quite frankly if a new partner was pushing me on this then they would be the one to go - not even necessarily because I cared about the pet more but because we obviously didn't have the same core priorities in life if they were so willing to put down a living creature without even wanting to explore other options.

kwmlondon

Sounds like my cat, but he was allowed out. He was happy around people, every now and again he'd take a mischievous swipe when you were wearing a dressing gown, but a swift boot and he'd go scuttling off. The main thing was not to pet him (he'd let me, but then I'd gotten him when he was tiny and he'd tolerate me picking him up for a few seconds before jumping down). I'd warn people, but he looked so cute they'd just stroke him then find him taking chunks out of them. But he was such a great hunter. He really kept the mice and rats down and was outside most of the time. I think your cat is an outdoor cat, nothing to take his instincts out on.

If I were you I'd have him put down. He's miserable and hurting you and your GF too. Pointless. Take him to the vest and then get a hamster!

zzzLazyDaisy

She is a new partner and you think it is a good move to try and bully her into killing her cat????

I have a cat that displayed similar aggression when younger. He was a rescue cat and it was quickly apparent that he attacked when he was stressed and scared. It is highly likely that your presence is stressing her cat, especially if you chase it and shout at it.

I now have a well adjusted cat who adores me, very rarely displays aggression and is even affectionate towards strangers now. But this took a lot of love, time and patience.... and it seems from your post that you don't possess any of those qualities.

I really hope you make her choose.....

gettingready

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Horizon81

Thanks for all the varied replies. He is indeed neutered. I thought allowing him outside might help as he could get his frustrations out chasing birds and other cats but she's none too keen and the vet seemed to say it makes no difference. Regardless, it all comes down to trust and I could never trust him.

Thanks for the comments about the state of the relationship. Yes we have indeed discussed children and as I said before, he would be too much of a liability around a baby. Yes she has a strong bond with the cat and she may keep it if she wants but she has the blinkers on. Me or any other fella wouldn't want to put up with it.

Apparently a vet has also mentioned putting him on tablets, but is drugging him particularly helpful? I can't think so!