I'm not giving up, I'm starting over

Top_Girl

I went back.

Biggest mistake I've ever made and I don't say that lightly.

Top_Girl

BUT those of you on the SW thread and the daily giving up alcohol thread will know I'm doing alright this time (17/31 dryathlon member).

I'm sorry I let you down and I'm sorrier I let myself down.

paulineb_2

You dont need to be sorry, its very easily done, Ive been there and done it myself, with someone who left me, someone I loved but the relationship wasnt positive for me, I went back, he left me again. But you live and learn.

Ive just given up alcohol, not for dry January, just because I dont enjoy drinking anymore, dont know if it will be for good, but for the moment. I was just randomly speaking to another fitness instructor I know tonight and she also gave up booze after the new year.

Strange, because Id never have known that unless I said randomly in conversation that Id stopped drinking.

Making mistakes is how you learn. Well, I tell myself that as Ive made plenty in my time.

meritaten

Hey - you are still here aren't you? brave girl! you had the guts to come on here and admit to what you think is failure?
You will get there hun - I am sure of that. now tomorrow is another day! fresh start. you have heard it all before - but, perhaps you need to believe it?
in the morning you can start again. clean slate. OK?

gunsandbanjos

Top_Girl wrote: »

I went back.

Biggest mistake I've ever made and I don't say that lightly.

To your ex?

I know the feeling, I split from my husband of 10 years last Christmas, took him back in late January, split for good in March. Going back was the worst decision I've ever made, but I stuck with it for about 6 weeks before I couldn't take any more.

Fast forward 10 months and I'm happier than I've ever been, I know I did the right thing, with hindsight I should have done it a long time ago but you live and learn.

Are you still with him?

wowimustlovehim

We'll you went back, your're not the first, you won't' be the last. Doesn't sound like it's working out, and I'm guessing that you're thinking of leaving again?

Hopefully, it will help you and make your future decisions easier to make and stick to, whatever you decide.

marisco_2

I hope you are okay OP. You haven't let anyone down. Take care and know that there are plenty of people here to offer a listening ear and support if you need it.

Top_Girl

No, I finally said my goodbye for good in November.

It was made harder by the fact he is going through a really rough time at the moment, but he was treating me terribly, not abusive or anything, I just didn't matter to him and that really hurt.

I've got to a point where I've had to almost be selfish in a sense and accept that whilst most of his problems aren't his fault (he is his own worst enemy a lot of the time though), they're not mine either and I had to walk away because I can't help him practically with them and I can't keep investing so much in him emotionally and get nothing back. I bent over backwards for him for years and I did my very best, but it wasn't enough.

He will never change and I have to accept that his problems aren't mine to fix and I can't change him.

gunsandbanjos

Hope you're happier now, your happiness is just as important as his and if the relationship makes you miserable then you have to be selfish and put yourself first. Though in my opinion it's not selfish, life is too damn short to be miserable.

Oakie

Wow....you go girl !!
All the best :beer: