Advice needed please-would you speak out?

MarilynMonroe_2

It was a throwaway comment you wern't meant to hear.. Let it go (but never forget haha)

jenhug

I wouldn't give her the satisfaction of letting her know it got to you.

Its far classier to stay silent in times like these.

valk_scot

kezzygirl wrote: »

Because she should have the guts to say it to my face instead of when I leave the conversation. I don't know why I am letting her rile me....

I don't know why you're letting it rile you either tbh. Why does this woman's opinion matter to you, in any way? Why give it a second thought?

Dunroamin

I don't really understand why you're discussing such personal things in public.

mummyroysof3

Does she take care of the kids when you working/studying? If not then its non of her business really. You and hubby dont sound like you close to her so just ignore it.

Janey7

Tbh I would personally be more peeved at the fact that my partner was saying in public (especially to someone who I presume he knows you have tensions with) that he is glad to have had the snip and making a joke of your wanting a baby.

It's hard to tell if your mil was being malicious or simply thoughtless. I've been in situations where the conversation is already flippant and jokey and that means it's easier to inadvertantly edge into making comments that upon reflection you don't actually mean (or would have worded differently).

Caitlin_Bree

I think I'd probably also be more annoyed with my man if he did that to me. Not only for making the flippant comment but also for what appears to be stirring afterwards.
He said he knew it would make you mad .. so why A) wait until you were far enough away that you couldn't take any action .. or tell you at all for that matter.

I have a problem with this attitude that seemed to appear, (coinciding with the beginning of Big Brother) whereby you have to tell everybody every unkind thing that you think about them to maintain your "integrity".
People that do that aren't "honest".. they're sociopaths and egotists. Some things aren't meant for your ears... what's the saying? .. "What you think of me is none of my business"?

Her opinion may be based on something she has no knowledge of, but she's still entitled to it. I think your husband was a nob (no offense) for not respecting that, and for not being able to nut up and decide whether to defend you there and then, or creep away and whine/stir. (again, no offense)
Anyway, screw what she thinks.

Angry_Bear

Just playing devil's advocate here ....

If this were a SAHM and her husband and her husband said he'd like more children, I'd imagine a lot of people would jokingly say "well, it's not you that has to look after them" - I don't think this would be a big deal.

Maybe it just seems like a bigger deal because the OP feels a littl guilt about not being the primary carer - not that I'm saying she should feel guilty, but maybe there's a bit of that going on?

sulkisu

kezzygirl wrote: »

Hi all, thanks for reading.

I am probably being over-sensitive with this, but here goes:
At the weekend myself, dh and the kids went to our nephews(on dh's side) birthday party.

Whilst there, the topic of conversation turned to children and I mentioned about how I would love a third child, but as dh has had a vasectomy there will be no more babies from us. I then went into the kitchen and dh said 'Yeah, she would love another baby, glad I have had the snip, saves arguments haha!'


How would you feel?

To be honest, I wouldn't have been 'mentioning' something so personal and private to guests at a children's birthday party.

Once you make your personal business everybody else's business, you can't be surprised that someone has (rightly or wrongly) expressed an opinion.

Pee

You can't do much without making yourself look a fool. MIL had probably forgotten that she said it and forgotten what she meant herself. Maybe she does have an issue with the way you and your OH are raising your children and sees it as unusual or even has concerns about how happy he is with it. Maybe his response has reassured her and over time she will come to see the benefits, maybe she won't. I think life is too short to worry about what this lady thinks.