Stressed

heartbreak_star

butterflylady wrote: »

When I write it out it looks like I'm making a huge mistake!!!

I hope you're not, but I think you might be.

I do really think you need to sit him down and get him to talk - especially about his ex. He doesn't leave the room till he's done some talking.

HBS x

elisebutt65

If it was me, I wouldn't be putting his name on the house at all until he's contributing to it!

thehappybutterfly

I feel for you butterfly - I was thinking the very same thing this morning about my life. I make virtually all the decisions at home and it ticks me off. The trivial decisons too like:

"what do you want for tea?" "Oh, anything" Quelle surprise.
"Which of these cars will we go for?" "It's up to you, you choose" "OK, let's go for X" "Well, if that's the one you want......"

I find it suffocating and frustrating.

It's like he wants to absolve all responsibility so if it goes wrong, it's my fault not his.

Oh, now I'm all riled up! :mad:

thehappybutterfly

It does all sound a bit one sided, as if you've foisted this life on him and he's just going along with it. That's not a criticism of you butterfly, it's about him. He needs to man up and accept his responsibilities and if he's not happy about the speed of your relationship, the imminent baby or the house purchase, tell you now so you can make a decision on what to do - a decision purely for you and not anyone else.

butterflylady

Happy butterfly, that's exactly how I feel even to the extent of having the baby!! It's all down to me whatever I want!!

Sorry I've riled you up.

We've talked about his ex, it just ends in arguments.

butterflylady

Maybe it has been one sided, tho ur'd like to think at 31 he cld open his mouth and say he didnt want things to happen.

the baby was a surprise, my pill failed at the same time as my body actually decided to work properly!! Lol

heartbreak_star

butterflylady wrote: »

We've talked about his ex, it just ends in arguments.

Initiated by you or him? Arguments are horrible but you need to explain to him that if he starts shouting, he's acting like a child. On your side of things, remain calm no matter what he says.

*hugs*

HBS x

neneromanova

What is his name going on on this house purchase? Deeds/Mortgage?

On the shouting front/arguements, that's normally a lot of peoples way of hiding the truth. Just shows even more he isn't over her.

System

thehappybutterfly wrote: »

I feel for you butterfly - I was thinking the very same thing this morning about my life. I make virtually all the decisions at home and it ticks me off. The trivial decisons too like:

"what do you want for tea?" "Oh, anything" Quelle surprise.
"Which of these cars will we go for?" "It's up to you, you choose" "OK, let's go for X" "Well, if that's the one you want......"

I find it suffocating and frustrating.

It's like he wants to absolve all responsibility so if it goes wrong, it's my fault not his.

Oh, now I'm all riled up! :mad:

Its the other way in my house and thats damned annoying. Its like i dont have any control at all.

butterflylady

Conversation about his ex are normally started by me when he agreed to do something for her, which she is capable of sorting out herself or she's using us as unpaid childcare care to suit her needs!!

Judi I feel for u, that's what it was like with me ex, that's y I wanted this to be different, y I wanted both of us to make decisions together!!