I don't like people in my house!

SandC

Makes me feel better that I'm not alone in this. I was always suspecting that if I actually got around to having tradesmen in to upgrade the rooms which are really desperate for it and did some redecoration I would want to have people round.

Now I'm not so sure I would after all, the anxiety would still be there and I've never got any food anyone would want but really don't do takeaways and wouldn't want to get into bad habits.

It's difficult really. I had a date round last night only because I wasn't drinking cos it was a work night and get fed up of sitting inthe pub with a coke. So he came to mine and drank the remainder of my weekend wine then I called him a taxi.

I just can't seem to get it right.

tea_lover

katy721 wrote: »

I think maybe i try too hard to be perfect.

That was my issue when I lived on my own (for 10 years). I built up a picture in my head of the ideal visit and then made myself too anxious about it to actually have anyone round. I thought everything had to be perfect before anyone could even step through the door.

I've definitely relaxed a bit since I've been living with my OH, but I'm still not keen on the disruption to my routine and the extra clutter that visitors bring.

flower24

I don't like having visitors either, but enjoy visiting others lol

Wellyboots6

How do you even get to the point of living with an OH though if you don't even like them visiting?!
Daft thing is i have lived with people before fine. This only started when i lived on my own for a while. Ive also lived in some awful run-down places and where i am now is lovely in comparison.
Suppose even when living with other people ive always wanted to know how long visitors are staying for. Even actually kicked people out when ive felt they've stayed too long!
I must just be really anti-social.
Maybe all us anti-social peeps need to start springing surprise visits on each other!

sammyjammy

katy721 wrote: »

Is this odd?

I'm not in the best of moods anyway as I have got shingles and am just generally exhausted, but I really dislike having people visit and being in my house!

I have lived on my own for about 3 years now, and really enjoy having my own space. This issue is getting so bad that it is ruining relationships however as I get very stressy with the other person when they spend too long in my house.

I think I am just turning in to a crazy dog lady!!

Crazy cat lady here. Poor you, I have had shingles, its not nice. I love my own company and don't see anything wrong with that, it's my life and I'll live it how I want to. Friends and family are very aware of my need for being on my own. My family live some distance from me and there is unwritten rule that I can only manage 72 hours of company, wther it be in my house or theirs.

Do people visit you unannouced? This is something I would not find acceptable.

I have lived on my own for 14 years and have become steadily more hermit like. Others may see it as an issue but I have no significant other and can live my life the way I choose.

Don't let others dictate to you how you live your life, they should understand your ways and adher to them.

Pee

I can get very scratchy and anti-social when coming down with a cold, so I suspect the shingles is making this worse. I hope you can have some time out a relax and get over it.

After that though, it doesn't really matter whether you want people to visit and welcome them with open arms or not, it's up to you except some relatives might get upset... however I get the impression you may one day want to live with another person and if this is the case I would say that probably when you meet the right person you won't mind them visiting and will probably be able to come up with a satisfactory living arrangement, maybe with both of you having a separate room for your own space.

Fluff15

katy721 wrote: »

I am fine socializing outside the house, I'm out most evenings doing things. I do find i don't like to spend more than a few hours with the same person though, whoever it is.
I had the shingles for a week before i even knew what it was so it's really not that bad. Just making me a bit tired and grouchy which is not unusual for me anyway!

I wouldn't worry - I can't stand anybody's company for more than a few hours. I literally get exhausted by having to 'entertain' them for the day. My closest friends know I'm like this though, and will never outstay their welcome. My other friends and family, I will always meet them out, or if they must come round I say I've got to do something else later so they go home! I've never had anybody turn up uninvited though, if it did happen (god forbid), I would make up an excuse for them not to stay long either - for example 'I've got to get electric, popping round my mums, seeing my little sister, late night shopping etc etc'.

There's only one person I can spend a few days with, without any breaks and that's my partner. He knows though that after a while I like to be left alone. I encourage him to go out with his friends or to the gym, so I can gain my sanity back! Without sounding like a clich!, are you sure you like this person enough to be having them around? And are they respecting the fact that it's your space, with your things and your own rules? If no, then don't worry! If yes, maybe it would be worth speaking to somebody? However as you've lived with somebody before fine, I think it's probably just because you're not having the right people round