Groundhog Texts

Miss_Poohs

I hope I'm not going to come over as a compete bee-ach here, I'd like your opinions.

I have a friend, we've been very good friends for many years, and I love her and her family to bits.

She like me is a working mum - her kids are adults now but still living at home, mine are still teenage and at school.

We text on a daily basis, but where as a quick 'hi how are you, hope everyone's ok?' kinda text is good for me, unless theres something particularly exciting/worrying happening, she tends to text epic novels, and it's always virtually all the same dreary day to day stuff - I'm up, having breakfast, going to work, car problems, work problems, family problems, neighbour problems, what's for dinner, doing the laundry..........on and on and on all day every day, and it's driving me nuts.

If I don't reply quickly enough or if I'm busy and gawd forbid don't reply at all I get it in the neck. It's too much.

I'd be happier to see her face to face more often, but she's very wrapped up with her family and doesn't like spending time away from them.

It's got so bad my phone contract is now due for renewal and I'm switching to a much reduced package, which will still be adequate for me but I won't have unlimited texts to continually reply to her continuous repeatative texts, and I'm worried about how she'll take it!!!

I'm I being a heartless rubbish friend, is this how people use up texts?

What do you think?

FBaby

Some people are like that, can't do short communication, and also believe that if you are going to communicate, you might as well do it meaningful. However, good on her to have to time to do so!

Nothing wrong with her style, but she needs to accept that there is nothing wrong with yours either. You respect that she likes to write novels, she needs to respect that you neither have the time, inclination or interest to do the same. She takes it or leave it!

Maybe you could tell her tactfully that you do appreciate her detailed texts and that you wish you could reciprocate, but don't have the time or phone contract to do it and you hope she doesn't mind?

beedeedee

I have a similar friend who sends long e-mails in reply to my one or two line messages. I used to try and keep up with her and write long replies - but gave up, because I couldn't win and just started replying very briefly and erratically.
It's fine - she's happy she has someone to e-mail all the minutiae to and is happy to receive a very short message from me in turn. I'm sure your friend would be the same. Try it. Gently at first.....

marisco_2

Miss_Poohs wrote: »

my phone contract is now due for renewal and I'm switching to a much reduced package, which will still be adequate for me but I won't have unlimited texts to continually reply to her continuous repeatative texts, and I'm worried about how she'll take it!!!

How does your friend find time to write epic novel type texts all day when she is a working mum? I envy people who have the ability to text at a rate of knots. There must be flames coming off her keypad. It takes me ages to write a short message, the screen is too little and I feel dizzy seeing all the symbols flashing before my eyes. So a quick 'Hi, how are you?' is all my mates ever recieve by text.

I think what I have quoted from you above will sort the problem out. Next time you are in contact with her just say that you are switching phone packages and wont be able to text as much. You aren't being rude or unreasonable and if she is a good friend she will accept this without issue. If she isn't a good friend then expect a long text from her telling you what she thinks of you :cool:

Spendless

I think you've got the ideal 'get out' you are changing phones package for financial reasons/better reception/better facilities but you no longer get same amount of texts so won't be able to reply to each one.

CH27

Miss_Poohs wrote: »

I hope I'm not going to come over as a compete bee-ach here, I'd like your opinions.

I have a friend, we've been very good friends for many years, and I love her and her family to bits.

She like me is a working mum - her kids are adults now but still living at home, mine are still teenage and at school.

We text on a daily basis, but where as a quick 'hi how are you, hope everyone's ok?' kinda text is good for me, unless theres something particularly exciting/worrying happening, she tends to text epic novels, and it's always virtually all the same dreary day to day stuff - I'm up, having breakfast, going to work, car problems, work problems, family problems, neighbour problems, what's for dinner, doing the laundry..........on and on and on all day every day, and it's driving me nuts.

If I don't reply quickly enough or if I'm busy and gawd forbid don't reply at all I get it in the neck. It's too much.

I'd be happier to see her face to face more often, but she's very wrapped up with her family and doesn't like spending time away from them.

It's got so bad my phone contract is now due for renewal and I'm switching to a much reduced package, which will still be adequate for me but I won't have unlimited texts to continually reply to her continuous repeatative texts, and I'm worried about how she'll take it!!!

I'm I being a heartless rubbish friend, is this how people use up texts?

What do you think?

Just tell her that.
You can text once a day & she may get the hint

Orlando_Virgin

Yeah just tell her that you'll not have as many free texts so you won't be able to text as frequency.

Or you could turn round and say:-

"WHY DO YOU WRITE A NOVEL EVERY TIME YOU BANG OUT A TEXT MESSAGE? AIN'T NOBODY GOT TIME FO' THAT"

Miss_Poohs

Thank you all so much. I don't want to sound uncaring, but I'm really not into life and times by texts.

I think I've only myself to blame or it - I've put up with for far too long.

Don't get me wrong if she needed me I'd be the first one there, Ive been there for her in the past, as she has me, I just don't need a blow by blow account of her every waking move and thought.

I think she's going to take umbrage, but I'll delivery the news gently and see how she takes it.

Once again thank you

victory

Your new contract is the get out clause, perfect, next time you see her, explain to her that it is not possible to text as much as before , problem solved:D

miss_independent

Understand the concept of Groundhog texts lol! My self-titled "best friend" has never called me to actually speak to me but she texts me once a week to say "U ok hun?", I usually reply with a bit about how I am and say I hope partner and kids and her are well, to which I get, "We r gud ta. Hope ur ok.", never a comment on what I've said. If I call her it goes straight to voicemail. We havent met up in months but apparently I am still her best friend?! I think she sees the once a week "U ok hun?X" text as keeping the relationship going. She is obsessed with facebook, which I don't do, and very rarely calls anyone or meets them in real life, its all "U ok hun?" texts and, the same on facebook. Eg, I text her to ask if she had heard anything about a friend who had just got out of hospital and she said, "I sent her a message saying, "U ok hun?" but I havent heard anything, no hun. U ok? X" Or occasionally I'll get a text saying, "U ok hun? I'm fuming! U heard from Josie? I've txt her 3 times asking if she ok and not heard back once. Think she ignoring me. Not on. X"

I feel strongly that alot of people are losing their social skills due to FB and texting. I prefer phonecalls, face to face meetings and even Skype to texts etc. I'd rather have a relationship with my friends in person than with their phones. Luckily I have friends who mainly do things the same way as me but I hate seeing people glued to their phone when on a date or out with their children. I think its so sad.

victory

miss_independent wrote: »

"

I feel strongly that alot of people are losing their social skills due to FB and texting. I prefer phonecalls, face to face meetings and even Skype to texts etc. I'd rather have a relationship with my friends in person than with their phones. Luckily I have friends who mainly do things the same way as me but I hate seeing people glued to their phone when on a date or out with their children. I think its so sad.

You are absolutely right, the amount of times I have told my DS to put his phone down, take it off the table, stop texting when I am trying to talk to you etc, he spends a ridiculous amount of time apparently 'arranging to see people' the texts go back and forth all day long and eventually they meet.

Obviously in my day we never had anything like all this and managed happily to meet each other by talking to each other about the meet, worked then;)