Do I have too high expectations?

mcja

Thanks MankySteve.

He hasn't been assessed for anything as his teacher says he is fine. He has a operation tomorrow to hopefully bring his hearing up to a decent level (won't ever be perfect though) and I am hoping to speak to someone at the hospital while he is being operated on about dyspraxia or dyslexia.

Times tables are actually still important for division etc, so he does need to know it. I am not convinced parrot fashion teaching is the best though.

We are hoping to start private tutoring soon, and I will see what she says as well re assessment.

Thankyou for taking time to post.

MarilynMonroe_2

How about printing them off and putting on his wall next to his bed so he can look at them before he goes to sleep?

I'm really rubbish at maths... not helped by being picked on by teachers and made to feel like an idiot. I excelled at English and other subjects, but numbers never meant anything to me.

supermum38

Dear OP

I wouldn't worry too much if I were you. You have received plenty of good advice from people on here, if you really feel you need to do something.

Personally, I have 2 sons. The eldest had glue ear from the age of 3 and was late talking. He got through junior school with just a bit of additional help in his final year in English. He went on to senior school and came out with 13 GCSE's including maths and english. He had three lots of grommets, one T-tube and finally had one eardrum repaired about a year ago. You would never think he had a problem and he got all the support he needed at his schools. I did nothing extra to help him.

He's now a PGL instructor and very happy. I too worried when the teachers discussed his difficulties but he got there himself really. My youngest sons had a lazy eye so he had some problems early on too, but he is now taking his GCSE's as well and is expected to get at least 10.

Honestly, I think the schools and teachers are now so clued up that very few pupils fall below the average unless they play truant.

I think it's obvious that you are a great mum by the way you show your concern but don't worry too much, you are doing everything you can and he will do well with your support.

mcja

Thankyou. The support and advice I have received on here and from other people has put my mind at rest.

Love the idea to put tts by his bed!!

Thanks again

mcja

Thankyou, anything that's a game is good with us.

He is finding it all a bit easier after his surgery and his hearing has improved considerably. Thank god, I am able to stop worrying quite so much, and start to trust the school a bit more alongside his tutor and support from us from all your awesome ideas.

clearingout

my eldest is year 4 and is most definately dyspraxic and dyslexic. He's a nightmare! I have never met anyone quite so disorganised and totally unable to sort out anything neatly. He spends half his life falling off the floor.

I have learnt this academic year to live with it. He is reluctant to be pushed - doesn't seem to see himself as being 'behind' in anyway (I know this to be different) so it's a bit of a losing battle trying to help out. I have focused on reading and leave it at that.

His teachers (he has two at the moment on a job share basis) find him hilarious. He is a nightmare to plan for (they do everything they can to differentiate work for him) as they have no idea what he might find easy or difficult. He can't do the time for love nor money. But fractions are a doddle. He's a bit all or nothing! He is otherwise a bright child (you would think so when speaking to him) and is well-liked and well-thought off by both peers and staff. I have kind of settled for that as 'enough'. I have made it clear to him that if he wants extra help I will help or I will get help if I can't help and that's that. I figure that if we are still 'behind' by the beginning of year 6, I will get in some extra help then but in the meantime, we'll see how we go.

I feel your frustration and just wanted to share that my frustration has eased somewhat by accepting he'll probably never be a rocket scientist and that he'll somehow find his way when he needs to.

mcja

clearingout wrote: »

I feel your frustration and just wanted to share that my frustration has eased somewhat by accepting he'll probably never be a rocket scientist and that he'll somehow find his way when he needs to.

Thankyou, I always say to people he will never be a rocket scientist but I don't want him to see asda delivery driver as his only option (yep, my kid has high ambitions:rotfl:). Apparently this was he gets to travel and meet people. :cool:

The things we worry about with our kids eh. Like you, I just want him to be happy and do his best.

Thanks again for taking time to reassure me.

clearingout

mcja wrote: »

Thankyou, I always say to people he will never be a rocket scientist but I don't want him to see asda delivery driver as his only option (yep, my kid has high ambitions:rotfl:). Apparently this was he gets to travel and meet people. :cool:

The things we worry about with our kids eh. Like you, I just want him to be happy and do his best.

Thanks again for taking time to reassure me.

you know, I used to worry about this sort of thing too. But the fact is, society needs all sorts of people with all sorts of ambitions, interests and drivers to function properly. There is nothing wrong with honest hard work and not earning the best money in the world. If being a delivery driver 'works', then why not?! I know for a fact that I couldn't clean to the standard required in hospitals, for example, but I can speak several languages and do a pretty good job of teaching. I might get paid more, but the jobs are of equal value, in a different way, to society as a whole. Ambition is great. It doesn't work for everyone. Finding a niche is what is important and it's that I am now trying to encourage rather than the academic side of things.

And failing that, the education system is not what it was. Plenty of people now realise what they really want to do later in life and make the change. Gone are the days when we started a job the day we left school and expected to retire from the same place 40 years later with a gold clock. A few years as the Asda Delivery driver may well be the impetus needed to find better.

It's so hard. I envisage a difficult future for my eldest and I worry. But he is who he is and he's lovely in so many ways. I'd rather that than a clever chap with no emotions or feelings for other people. I think we have to relax about things but keep our eyes on it at the same time. Soooo difficult to find the line and keep on the right side of it.

mcja

Tis hard isn't it. I just wish I had a crystal ball some times for him. You are right, it does take all sorts to make the world work. I know I need to let him find his own thing, and work out what he wants to be and do.

Hand on heart as long as he is happy he can run off with the circus!!

Thankyou clearingout, and if you find a secret magic potion, can I please have a weeny little bit!!

Xxx

Mossop93

I'm a maths whizz, can crank out algebra no problem and find it soothing but struggle with my 7 and 8 times tables.

In fact last week I had a question 1/X = 7/42 and had to sit and write out all my 7 times table until I got to it. Then felt like a dingbat when I realised I could have gone for 7x5=35 and would have been able to easily get it from there moral of the story? 7 and 8 times tables are hard! Even as an adult.

My brother struggled with his times tables (all of them. Even 10 times tables was beyond him) so I got him this pencil case that's solid plastic and you twist the top to the number E.G 7 for 7 times tables and read down it to see all of them. He used to use it everyday to "parrot" it until he knew the 7's in order and then we'd suddenly spring a random one on him like 7 3's. So he'd say them out loud on his fingers "7, 14, 21" to be able to answer.

That really helped him. Could you do something similar? The biggest tip is making sure he knows there is no shame in having to think! My brother got frustrated that other kids could go 7x3 is 21 and not have to rattle them off first, until we pointed out that they're rattling it off too but inside their heads. Once he realised he wasn't weird or stupid he found it easier.

He had a sticker chart too. That basically had 1 - 10 across the top and down the side. So where 7 and 3 would meet you'd write 21. Only instead he'd get to stick a number 21 sticker there so he could SEE his progress and would get a treat for filling a whole times table - treat got bigger with the times tables. E.G. 1 times table was a chocolate bar, 7 times table got him a trip to the tank museum