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Do I have too high expectations?
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mcja
Posts: 4,077 Forumite
Hi,
My son is 8 in year 4, and I feel is underachieving. I volunteer in a different school and even the teacher there has offered to tutor him.
He has had hearing loss from glue ear, which has got progressively worse and is a class of monkeys.
He isn't writing clearly, has poor concentration (can't run through a times table fully in sequence), doesn't know 7 and 8 times tables and uses minimal punctuation.
He struggles with logical work, we are doing that at home.
Basically, should i be concerned or is he just being a boy? I have spoken to his teacher this morning again and she assures me he is ok in the class, but they are a fairly low ability class. He hasn't moved up a literacy target since the start of the year.
Thankyou, and be honest. I may cry but I might need reining in a bit.
My son is 8 in year 4, and I feel is underachieving. I volunteer in a different school and even the teacher there has offered to tutor him.
He has had hearing loss from glue ear, which has got progressively worse and is a class of monkeys.
He isn't writing clearly, has poor concentration (can't run through a times table fully in sequence), doesn't know 7 and 8 times tables and uses minimal punctuation.
He struggles with logical work, we are doing that at home.
Basically, should i be concerned or is he just being a boy? I have spoken to his teacher this morning again and she assures me he is ok in the class, but they are a fairly low ability class. He hasn't moved up a literacy target since the start of the year.
Thankyou, and be honest. I may cry but I might need reining in a bit.
“Listen earnestly to anything your children want to tell you, no matter what. If you don't listen eagerly to the little stuff when they are little, they won't tell you the big stuff when they are big, because to them all of it has always been big stuff.”
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I think thier is a big differnce between helping him reach his full potential and doing things because you want him to be better personally (high expectations)
You could consider privite tutoring or some kind of extra classes (My little brother goes to something called Kip but I am not sure if this is just local or national..)
Its normal to be concerned but don't push him to hard, at 8 years old he is still growing and its good to teach him to do well at school and do well with his homework etc but he's still quite young.
Edit: It looks pretty local http://www.kipmcgrath.co.uk/ but could give you an idea of the sort of things you could do.
(7 and 8 times tables are hard!! I could work them out but I couldn't rhyme them off lol)People don't know what they want until you show them.0 -
Thankyou Kayalana,
He will never be a rocket scientist, we just want him to be the best he can be. At the moment I don't feel he is being given the right support achieve that at school.
Many thanks and I will look at the website link.
Claire“Listen earnestly to anything your children want to tell you, no matter what. If you don't listen eagerly to the little stuff when they are little, they won't tell you the big stuff when they are big, because to them all of it has always been big stuff.”0 -
Hello, my son is in year one and has glue ear. He sits at the front of the class so can hear and lip read the teacher if he needs to. I know it sounds daft but is your son seated near the front of the teacher?
I have an 8 year old in year 3 (both my boys also have mild dyspraxia). I volunteer in their school and I am in both of their classes one day a week. Does your school offer extra help to your son in small group setting or even one on one?
Have you spoken to a senior member of staff? You know your son best and I believe you would know if he wasnt reaching his potential due to his school setting.Mum, wife and dinnerlady!0 -
Thankyou.
He is sat at the front and I have had a chat with his teacher about his concentration. She doesn't deem it a problem. He is in a fairly high special needs class and his teacher is the school SENCO so I am confident she is doing her best within the limits.
He gets intervention for his handwriting but as he has covered his hearing loss up (even the ENT team have been surprised he hasn't had a problem at school until this year), no one has done anything to help him.“Listen earnestly to anything your children want to tell you, no matter what. If you don't listen eagerly to the little stuff when they are little, they won't tell you the big stuff when they are big, because to them all of it has always been big stuff.”0 -
Thankyou.
He is sat at the front and I have had a chat with his teacher about his concentration. She doesn't deem it a problem. He is in a fairly high special needs class and his teacher is the school SENCO so I am confident she is doing her best within the limits.
He gets intervention for his handwriting but as he has covered his hearing loss up (even the ENT team have been surprised he hasn't had a problem at school until this year), no one has done anything to help him.
It's probably taken all his efforts to 'cover up' his hearing loss and now he's adjusting to having his hearing loss taken into consideration.
I'm not sure if you mean purposely covering up his hearing deficit. He probably didn't realise it wasn't normal. My youngest has always been long sighted but no one noticed a problem until a routine eye test (ironically to check for inherited short sight!). He had adapted everything naturally. It took him a while to adjust once he had glasses.0 -
Also, why do you need to work through times tables in sequence?0
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If you think they are letting him down in terms of his potential, then sorry, but if you want it to change, you have to deal with it.
Rather than talking generally to the teacher, perhaps pick on on particular thing, for example his puncuation and make sure the teacher is focussing on that when setting individual targets for his work. And make sure it's being followed up. Far too many teachers will pay lip service to problems and then not follow them through in the subsequent weeks that follow. (Not saying that this would be the case with your son's teacher).
With regards to the literacy and tables, they are easy things to reinforce at home. Just keep practising and make sure he is reading to you every day and reading to himself too, something that he really enjoys reading. Some children aren't really inspired by the books that come home from school so you can sort that yourself.
I remember starting a thread on here years ago about my son's times tables and got lots of good advice. They all just seemed to click at a certain point but I understand your worry.
Is he being distracted during class? If so, the class teacher can fix that in less than a minute by a quick seating change. Ask for it to happen if it hasn't already."One day I realised that when you are lying in your grave, it's no good saying, "I was too shy, too frightened."
Because by then you've blown your chances. That's it."0 -
Tenyearstogo wrote: »Also, why do you need to work through times tables in sequence?
I agree. 7 and 8s are usually the last ones learned surely? (They're the hardest)."One day I realised that when you are lying in your grave, it's no good saying, "I was too shy, too frightened."
Because by then you've blown your chances. That's it."0 -
I agree. 7 and 8s are usually the last ones learned surely? (They're the hardest).
My DD is in Y4 and they learn 2, 10 and 5 times tables, then 3,4,6, 9, then 7 and 8 last, "because they're the hardest". I'm pleased that she's onto 7 and 8 now as there are some Y6 children still struggling with the easier ones.They call me Dr Worm... I'm interested in things; I'm not a real doctor but I am a real worm.
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Don't despair, he sounds like a typical little boy to me, I've had 3 of 'em! The oldest is left handed (I am too but didn't have a problem writing), we despaired of his handwriting, punctuation was scant. school couldn't really help him, nothing we did helped. I worried even up to his GCSEs that he would get marked down because the assessor couldn't read his writing. He's got 11 GCSEs, 3 A levels and a degree.
3rd son's writing and spelling was appalling, he never checked anything and couldn't tell the time on a clock with hands until he went to secondary school. He's now at college and hopefully off to Uni next year.
TBH, I'd be more concerned about the class environment - the disruptive pupils. not great for learning and concentration.
Are there more boys than girls in the class? That was a problem in 2nd son's year, a smaller year group but it was 2/3rds boys.Over futile odds
And laughed at by the gods
And now the final frame
Love is a losing game0
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