Constantly judged for using disabled bays? Autism and Blue Badge?

Triggles

Perhaps the OP would be better supported and/or helped if people spent less time debating whether or not the child was disabled and making snide comments about the situation, and perhaps spent more time providing helpful and/or supportive advice.

I thought the whole purpose of this board was to be supportive and helpful, not tear people down.

abudabi

Yes it is a pretty pointless exercise coming on here really and complaining about the general public making comments or giving hateful looks to some people using the bays - if they OUTWARDLY dont appear to have a disability what do they expect? it is wrong but then again life isn't fair!!! on here you may get people who agree and others who don't i am in no way insulting the OP i don't know anyone personally on this forum and we have to take everything as true [if we choose]

sparkycat2

Brassedoff wrote: »

Yes, a bit like yours does too. But I let it slide. You see, intelligence wins out, pity you lose as you never grasped the point that I was asking a question from an opposite point of view. I suppose in your fluffy world, no one disagrees with you, do they?

Your original post 7 on this thread was not a considered question seeking more information to increase your understanding. It was worded to mock, castigate and be dismissive. That is you posted out of spite. A desire to deliberately hurt, annoy, or offend someone, to provoke a response. You expected to provoke "mums net militia" into responding with annoyance.

You cannot absolve yourself of doing so by saying you were asking a question from the opposite point of view or simply disagreeing and did not deserve an abrasive response. If you do not want abrasive replies do not post in a manner designed to provoke such.

Tigsteroonie

abi.marshall wrote: »

My problem is a little different, my 7 year old son does not look disabled, he can walk and talk and he also has Autism.

Our 3 1/2 year old deaf & autistic son looks and behaves like a typical 2 year old. This gets us some looks of annoyance when we use his BB to park in disabled spots, but we just smile sweetly and carry on. Very often using his BB means that we have parked quickly, without fuss and close to where we need to be/go - which means we've avoided getting stressed and risking a tantrum. That's why he gets out of the car smiley and happy ...

Dunroamin

sparkycat2 wrote: »

Your original post 7 on this thread was not a considered question seeking more information to increase your understanding. It was worded to mock, castigate and be dismissive. That is you posted out of spite. A desire to deliberately hurt, annoy, or offend someone, to provoke a response. You expected to provoke "mums net militia" into responding with annoyance.

You cannot absolve yourself of doing so by just saying you were saying you were asking a question from the opposite point of view. If you do not want abrasive replies do not post in a manner designed to provoke such.

I thought that it was an intelligent, well thought out post, unlike yours. It's always worth challenging mainstream views and encouraging others to do so.

seven-day-weekend

Dunroamin wrote: »

I thought that it was an intelligent, well thought out post, unlike yours. It's always worth challenging mainstream views and encouraging others to do so.

I agree with you about the post.

And as a parent of someone (now grown up) with Aspergers' Syndrome, I would say that Autism CAN be a disability, but isn't always.

I appreciate the point about the car parking (some children on the spectrum have no sense of danger) and think (from the information I have) that in the OP's case a blue badge may well be justified. However, I would not say that everyone on the spectrum should get one. It depends how the condition affects you.

I don't think however that 'disabled' simply means 'unable to walk', which is what many people seem to think when they see someone who can walk, but for whom it might be dangerous to do so, using a blue badge.

sparkycat2

Dunroamin wrote: »

It's always worth challenging mainstream views and encouraging others to do so.

What from positions of ignorance on say autism and being mocking, castigating and dismissive to depict those with autism who have a blue badge as undeserving of having a blue badge and it being wrong for them to use disabled parking spaces?

Personally I view such people as either espousing opinions born of ignorance and prejudice or posting out of spite.

5and1e

I look anything but disabled, I wear high heels, make-up the lot (principle of Look Good, Feel Better)...oh and drive an MX5 sports car which I had before I because ill, but as I am terminally ill I also have a blue badge and have been accosted several times at the supermarket, usually by elderly ladies(sorry) implying that I shouldn't be parking in a disabled spot, but I only park there if there are a lot of empty disabled spots or I'm not feeling well. I also had one lady question my right to the badge as (quote) I did not look disabled. So I told her of the prognosis of my illness and she just turned and walked off without a word...not even a sorry to hear that so I can sympathise with others who have had this problem and also get annoyed that we are expected to explain ourselves.

exarmydreamer

I have a blue badge due to injuries sustained by military service, I also have a disabled parking bay outside my house which is in a residence permit parking area only. I also have 3 boys with ADHD, of which 2 have Autism.

Now, I can see this from both sides. I get very pi@@ed off with people who park in the disabled space outside my house and then walk into the town centre and return loaded with shopping bags, leaving me to unload the kids and car on double yellows. I can of course park on double yellows but why should I when the Residence Permit Parking is full of blue badges when they are not even permitted to park there.

Do I say anything, No, I don't but it is obvious there is a huge con going on with people who are not really supposed to be in possession of a badge by the very fact they are carting 3 or 4 bags of Iceland shopping up a hill to their car outside my house. I have never used a badge for my children but would park in a mother and baby space to help me get them out if the disabled spaces were full. It is all down to common sense but some people do not possess that do they?.

Classic example:

I have just shopped and have parked in a disabled parking bay, husband has loaded the car with shopping and is taking the trolley back to the stand. Children are in the back, so all is well and good.

Now it was a nice day, so I had my window down and a lady with two young daughters pulled up next to us. I wasn't really taking much notice but she had her window down and was saying to her daughters, (I think it was to her children), 'well all the parent spaces are full, so because of that we will park here, it's closer'. Not being one to mince my words, I said, 'are you justifying your actions to me or to your children who don't know the highway code'. She had no blue badge but was quite upset and called me rude for obviously making her feel humiliated. In this situation I said something, normally I couldn't give a damn. I leave it for the parking attendant to deal with and find something more worthwhile to worry about.



Enough said.....:D

lucytoo

My son has ADHD and through the years there has been little change, ADHD is a brain disorder, he doesnt see danger, he has mild learning disabilities, he has poor concentration and short memory difficulties and extremly active, also has oppositional defiant disorder. Over the years I have heard various comments from ignorant people stating he was needing a good hiding etc. When he was younger I would have benefited from a blue badge to help me at supermarkets/shops. I think you are totally in the right having a badge for your son with Autism, if it helps make the task of shopping easier then you deserve it as much as anyone else with a more physical disability. There used to be a poster saying see the person not the disability, but with children with Autism, Aspergers and ADHD the person looks as if they dont have a disability but they do, so a different type of poster might help people to think more before they state their opinions. If they lived with a child with a disorder they might sympathise more. People are quick to judge I would either have a smart answer ready for anyone who challenged you or just ignore them.

sparkycat2 wrote: »

I would hazard a guess that the essential thing is keeping safe and that having a blue badge helps because a car park is a place someone is likely to get run over. While being a passenger sitting in a car or walking on the pavement or in a shop they are less likely to get run over. The car park is the more dangerous environment. So time walking about a car park amongst moving vehicles and cars blocking line of sight should be kept to a minimum.


ADHD on its own is developmental, no learning disability or impaired neurological function is implied.
Asperger's although in the Autism spectrum typical does not have the same level of learning disabilities of someone diagnosed with Autism. The level of impaired insight to danger, ability to learn, uncontrollable behavioural problems.


That is an argument for having more disabled parking spaces.
Not an argument for having autistic people getting run over in car parks because their disability results in lack of insight to danger and them having learning and behavioural problems.


I do not have a autistic child, and I think you are ignorant.


So is the issue you viewing yourself as more deserving. While viewing the OP as not deserving.
How you think your difficulties going shopping with your two kids is relevant or commparable is beyond me. In my view it just demonstrates how ignorant you are.


Your friends lad unless you are talking about a different friends lad, does not have the same disability as the OP's child. So how you think this is relevant is beyond me.


Well I do not see why someone with a valid blue badge should have to justify themselves to ignorant and judgemental people.


What is the relevance of saying this, that you think you are obviously deserving and they are not. Because you think they should be asked to justify themselves but not you.