Just need to vent

Southernman

Thanks for your kind words Marisco and everyone else who has commented. I will get a message out and see what happens of it, keep you updated of course and try and move on.

POPPYOSCAR

Southernman wrote: »

I definitely don't come across as superior and i try and organise stuff as a group.

I dunno. You don't gain anything from being nice really. Whether it be friends or work. I just get walked all over. I don't know why i bother.

I know exactly what you mean but be proud of who you are and do not change because of bad treatment by some.

Person_one

Southernman wrote: »

I definitely don't come across as superior and i try and organise stuff as a group.

I dunno. You don't gain anything from being nice really. Whether it be friends or work. I just get walked all over. I don't know why i bother.

Be careful not to get caught in a 'woe is me' victim mentality. The vast majority of people in the world are 'nice' and do just fine.

Chin up, this too will pass!

SuzieSue

Southernman wrote: »

I dunno. You don't gain anything from being nice really. Whether it be friends or work. I just get walked all over. I don't know why i bother.

So do you think you are more kind hearted than they are (I'm sure the answer is yes because of the way they have treated you). In which case, you are too good for them. You need to find some people who are more like you.

I know exactly what you mean about not gaining if you are too nice at work. I've worked in several offices over the last 25 years and it is only at my current office that I can say that everyone is decent. In all the other places there was always a lot of b!tching going on.

SuzieSue

Person_one wrote: »

Be careful not to get caught in a 'woe is me' victim mentality. The vast majority of people in the world are 'nice' and do just fine.

Not in offices in my experience. I have worked in at least 10 different offices and have only found one where everyone was decent.

paulineb_2

Person_one wrote: »

Be careful not to get caught in a 'woe is me' victim mentality. The vast majority of people in the world are 'nice' and do just fine.

Chin up, this too will pass!

Well I must have met the minority then, because Ive met numerous people in the workplace and out of it who are the opposite of nice and then some.

But I do understand the point you are making. I think in my entire life with friendships, Ive never got back what Ive put in and that doesnt mean I want material things back, but I try and treat people decently. It must hurt when people do phase you out and cant even be bothered to tell you, but that isnt the actions of real friends.

People come and go and drift apart, it happens. I lost a significant friendship, someone who I thought would always be friends, because I didnt have money to go out partying all the time like they wanted to do, they simply stopped speaking to me. It hurt, but there are other people in my life now, Im probably not as close to them, but I have people I can go for a meal with and a drink with and thats all I need.

Sometimes people dont behave towards us the way we would towards them, its very easy to say, but chalk it up to experience, try not to get too down and move on, get back out there and meet other people. People who wont behave like that.

POPPYOSCAR

SuzieSue wrote: »

Not in offices in my experience. I have worked in at least 10 different offices and have only found one where everyone was decent.

Not only offices etc. groups of mums at the school can be like that as well!

Pixiechic

I would just leave it. It might be personal but it also might not be.

It isn't nice to be left out but try not to let it upset you too much. I wouldn't want to be anywhere that I wasn't wanted.

Also, keep in mind that a valid reason could become clear.

Southernman

I do agree.

I have other very good friends. Work, school (Primary rather than these from Secondary) Uni, etc so it's not as though i'm not a friendly person or lacking. It's just the principle of being treated like this.

Maybe you're right and i have grown apart...maybe. Still i thought things could have been different.

I'll have a chat to them. Understand what's going on. At least i know then what the next steps are or if it really is a friendship down the pan.

bloolagoon

Just grab the bull by the horns and explain your party was a not a party and say you're glad they had a good time, let you know another. I fail to understand why people say I want I invited, it sounds like you wait to be invited by others. You shape your life, not them, either create your own gathering and do the invitations or ask them when the next one is.