Just need to vent

Southernman

I'm 24- we're all 24.

Southernman

SuzieSue wrote: »

So sorry to hear this, it must hurt a lot. How come you were invited to some meet ups and not to others? I would have thought that if they didn't like you for some reason that they wouldn't invite you to the regular meetings either?

I honestly can't answer your question.

I don't know.

It's only the last month that i've not been included. I'm not someone who gets on the bad side of anyone though because i don't usually like confrontation and i'm fairly diplomatic rather than a big gobbed nut so i've definitely not offended anyone.

Kayalana99

Southernman wrote: »

They have now replied with

'you didn't invite us to your eurovision party'

my 'eurovision party' consisted of me on the settee while my boyfriend was on-call fixing computer servers all evening.

Maybe this is more a case of tit for tat then them actally not liking you...

Perhaps they got the wrong end of the stick about this party then and all got upset/angry and started saying things and this is the result you not getting invited places...?

Person_one

People on here can be a bit quick with the suggestion of cutting friends out of your life sometimes. I'm guessing these friendships wouldn't have lasted 13 years if they were so worthless, there must be something there or you wouldn't care so much.

Don't jump to conclusions too quickly. Is there an explanation? Do these people have an extra hobby or interest that you don't? Do they have the same marital status, or live close to each other, did they try to get in touch but you missed a call? Have you rejected a lot of their invitations recently? Have you had any disagreements?

The only way this will ever get sorted though, if its possible to sort, is by communicating. Don't do it publicly on a facebook status, that's not the way to air genuine hurt feelings. Write a proper e-mail or call and say "I was a bit upset to see that you've been spending time together without inviting me. Have I done something to upset someone? I really hope not as our friendship means a lot to me and its horrible to feel excluded."

Then take it from there.



(Edit - a lot of posts while I was typing! I still think you need to have a grown up conversation away from your facebook walls. Hash it out, I bet there are some major crossed wires here. Friendships are valuable, if these are good people don't be too quick to throw them away!)

POPPYOSCAR

Where did they get the impression that you were having a party and not invited them?

And anyway they left you out before this.

It is hard I understand that but you need to sit down with them and explain how you feel and ask them why.

If you want them to invite you along regardless of how they feel then they may invite you because they feel they have to.

I would rather have true friends that want my company.

SuzieSue

Southernman wrote: »

h because i don't usually like confrontation and i'm fairly diplomatic rather than a big gobbed nut so i've definitely not offended anyone.

But that could be why they are trying to cut you out. If the others do give their opinions and you sit on the fence and don't b!tch about people etc, they might see that as you acting as if you are superior to them. Could this be the case?

busiscoming2

Yes it seems very hurtful to me and the tit for tat because of your 'eurovision party' seems a bit extreme. Now you have commented on FB and had a reply, I'd wait and see what happens when the next meet is arranged.

Kayalana99

busiscoming2 wrote: »

Yes it seems very hurtful to me and the tit for tat because of your 'eurovision party' seems a bit extreme. Now you have commented on FB and had a reply, I'd wait and see what happens when the next meet is arranged.

It is extreme admittly but this gave me another thought...do you EVER invite them anywhere?

I had 2 main friends in school and the middle one used to plan all these things..cinemas shopping etc..it was her thing..I used to do some things but not alot.

1st friend moved for Uni and whenever she comes down we have these great catch ups...but me and my other friend hardly ever meet up..she always texts me saying 'we should meet up soon!! xx' but will never actally arrange to meet up...

It annoys both of us as she does stuff quite alot without us (or back in the school days) but we always invited her places...were still friends but now when she says 'we should meet up soon' my reply is yes lets!! and unless my other friend is down I dont see her...

But its more the fact that she doesnt plan to do anything with us then just doing things outside of us...if that makes sense...were quite happy for her to have other friends(as its not like we didnt do same with other people) but she just doesn't put the effort in with us.

Last time she messaged me was 'we need to meet up so I can give you your bday pressie' ...I just don't think I should arrange to meet her to get a pressie..it almost seems rude to me? Ack...idk. Just a thought that turned into a ramble lol.

marisco_2

The fact that you are so upset about being left out of social arrangements by your friends, suggests that they all mean alot to you and you value them. This indicates that your relationship with them up until recently has been good. There may be all manner of reasons as to why you have not been invited along to some of their get togethers. I wouldn't automatically assume that this has been done as a slight to you. Rushing in to cut them off, as has been suggested further up the thread, without first talking to them and trying to clear the air would be a move I think you would regret.

It seems as if there has just been a bit of a misunderstanding over this 'eurovision' evening. That is not a huge deal in the big scheme of life and could be easily overcome with an open and honest talk with your friends. Try to do that face to face or over the phone. Keep it out of somewhere like facebook or text where tone and connotation can be misconstrued. I hope you all manage to resolve this blip and that you feel happier really soon

Southernman

I definitely don't come across as superior and i try and organise stuff as a group.

I dunno. You don't gain anything from being nice really. Whether it be friends or work. I just get walked all over. I don't know why i bother.