I just don't know how to help my Mum anymore - menopause

Mojisola

amyloofoo wrote: »

However she's now started leaving the diary around (and open for all to see) and it reads like a suicide note, tbh... full of insults against family members and reminders to herself that she has grandchildren to live for.

To make matters worse, Dad was in hospital a couple of years ago with heart failure and has been readmitted a few times since to have excess fluid drained. He is on about a dozen different medications every day and we're all terrified because he's not taking his tablets properly while they're out walking, and she drags him out of the door without a chance to rest, even when he says he's breathless. He's going to end up in hospital again and Mum doesn't seem to care.

Quite frankly, your Dad is going to end up in an early grave if he's not taking his medication, is being dragged out to walk when he's not fit and is walking for 14 hours a day!

duckeggblue

The menopause did affect me very badly for the first year, I was already under a lot of stress, at times I thought I was going mad as I couldn't concentrate, nearly had panic attacks,when driving became nervous and panicky, very irratible.was your mum receiving hormone replacement therapy anyway for her ts and have you thought of contacting the turners syndrome society yourself . You can easily go to any doctor in her surgery and say, " I know you can't discuss my mum or dad with me, but I need to tell you, x "

Mojisola

duckeggblue wrote: »

You can easily go to any doctor in her surgery and say, " I know you can't discuss my mum or dad with me, but I need to tell you, x "

Particularly if her strange behaviour is putting someone else's health at risk.

marmitepotato

I hate the menopause and everything that goes with it. It's singularly the worst bodily function I have suffered. The sweats, five an hour all day and all night. The terrible feelings of dread that consume your whole being. Forgetfulness, sore joints, dry wiry hair and skin, weight gain....

Yup! The menopause sucks....


OP, how about ringing up the docs and speaking to a nurse about your Mum, she needs help but just doesn't realise it.

amyloofoo

Mojisola wrote: »

Particularly if her strange behaviour is putting someone else's health at risk.

You're right, perhaps I could approach the surgery and voice concerns about my Dad's health - which will obviously lead to an explanation of why it's being neglected. My sister is registered with the same surgery so maybe she'd be able to speak to someone - do you think it's best to call or make an appointment?

ETA: Thanks for the suggestion about the TS society - I've checked out their website and they may be able to help so I'll send them an email with my concerns. It also, interestingly, states that depression and anxiety is very common amongst those affected by TS. As far as I'm aware, Mum wasn't taking any hormone-based medication for the TS, just a whole raft of supplements and having regular blood tests for various mineral deficiencies - she's always been very anti-medication (but only for herself, she encourages everyone else to take anything Doctors recommend!)

duckeggblue

Turners syndrome helpline
03001117520
Open 9-5 Monday to Friday

Depression in the menopause ordinarily is not uncommon.
Most women go through the menopause totally unprepared for the psychological issues, which for me, and others I have spoken to , were far, far worse than the physical symptoms.(why does no one warn you!)

Mojisola

amyloofoo wrote: »

= My sister is registered with the same surgery so maybe she'd be able to speak to someone - do you think it's best to call or make an appointment?=

Our surgery can arrange for a phone appointment with a GP - perhaps your sister would find that easier than going face-to-face?

duckeggblue

I re read your post and saw she was taking St. John's wort. I think this is a pretty powerful herbal remedy, and there is some evidence also that it has an effect on prescription drugs, of moving them out of the body faster, so don't forget to tell the do about what herbal stuff she is taking , particularlyif she is on prescription medication too .

Savvy_Sue

amyloofoo wrote: »

she's always been very anti-medication (but only for herself, she encourages everyone else to take anything Doctors recommend!)

And yet ... she's risking dad's health by dragging him out all day so he's not taking his medication properly?

Definitely time to flag your concerns to their GP.

Mojisola

duckeggblue wrote: »

I re read your post and saw she was taking St. John's wort. I think this is a pretty powerful herbal remedy, and there is some evidence also that it has an effect on prescription drugs, of moving them out of the body faster, so don't forget to tell the do about what herbal stuff she is taking , particularlyif she is on prescription medication too .

https://www.umm.edu/altmed/articles/st-johns-000931.htm