Council would rather I put 2 children in to care!!

pinkladyof66

Thanks Tiddly whatever way it is said it all means the same keep on having children un necessarily. When you already have enough to carry on is insane and irresponsible.

Treevo

pinkladyof66 wrote: »

Thanks Tiddly whatever way it is said it all means the same keep on having children un necessarily. When you already have enough to carry on is insane and irresponsible.

If you believe the world to be over-populated enough to give you the right to criticise others for having more children then you really shouldn't have any children yourself. If you do then you run the risk of being viewed as a hypocrite.

pinkladyof66

Treevo wrote: »

If you believe the world to be over-populated enough to give you the right to criticise others for having more children then you really shouldn't have any children yourself. If you do then you run the risk of being viewed as a hypocrite.

Actually i dont have any birth children myself I have actually a child that I have taken on that was bore to a family who seemed to think popping them out every year and neglecting them was a norm. So in my situation I havent brought any children into this world. let alone 6 !!! I have a son whom i have adopted cause his parents were too selfish in thinking about the children rather than themselves, who didnt think about the consequences of cost of having to pay for their birth children.

And anyway I am not saying they should have no children I am saying they should be more thoughtful in how many they do have. If everyone had 6 children how more over populated would this country be.

ciderwithrosie_2

What an unpleasant, judgemental lot you are. Is there anyone you think is deservedly eligible for social housing? Who is it for then exactly?

I live in a HA property, with my OH and 3 adult sons, it has 2 bedrooms, is subsiding and riddled with damp. The HA surveyor tells me it is still settling, despite being over 40 years old!! For this I pay £400 pm, along with all the other normal bills. I don't get any subsidies or benefits. I daresay some of your mortgages are less than that per month.

We couldn't afford to buy our own home when we got together, neither of us were on a great wage, and even studio flats were beyond our means, plus OH is a type 1 diabetic, we were scared to take on a mortgage and risk losing our home if he became ill long term and was unable to work.

We keep our home as nice as we can, tidy gardens, recycle, don't cause any trouble, all work apart from DS3 who's still at college, DS1 went to Uni. People who live in social housing are not scrounging scum and it saddens me that others may view me and families like the OP's that way.

Tiddlywinks

ciderwithrosie wrote: »

People who live in social housing are not scrounging scum and it saddens me that others may view me and families like the OP's that way.

I don't think this at all... what I do think is that, in this situation, the OP just expects someone else to be responsible and provide for her family choices. If she'd been burdened with a mortgage and would have had to fund the extra rooms herself then she may have planned better and not chosen to extend her family to the extent she has.

Some people on benefits or in social housing just seem to develop the attitude that someone else will always be there to provide for the so they are less willing to provide for themselves.

In this case, why have so many children when you do not have room to house them?

jellyhead

ciderwithrosie wrote: »

What an unpleasant, judgemental lot you are. Is there anyone you think is deservedly eligible for social housing? Who is it for then exactly?

I live in a HA property, with my OH and 3 adult sons, it has 2 bedrooms, is subsiding and riddled with damp. The HA surveyor tells me it is still settling, despite being over 40 years old!! For this I pay £400 pm, along with all the other normal bills. I don't get any subsidies or benefits. I daresay some of your mortgages are less than that per month.

We couldn't afford to buy our own home when we got together, neither of us were on a great wage, and even studio flats were beyond our means, plus OH is a type 1 diabetic, we were scared to take on a mortgage and risk losing our home if he became ill long term and was unable to work.

We keep our home as nice as we can, tidy gardens, recycle, don't cause any trouble, all work apart from DS3 who's still at college, DS1 went to Uni. People who live in social housing are not scrounging scum and it saddens me that others may view me and families like the OP's that way.

My house is on a council estate (but the mortgage for my 2-bed is a lot more than your 400 rent, sadly!) and the estate is well cared for and lived in by ordinary people. There is a 'problem' family in the enxt street, but that's just one family among many. Council estates here are pleasant places to live, and I wouldn't class anyone living here as scum. My parents live around the corner in their council house, and I wouldn't call them scroungers.

MSE members have an odd view of council estates. There may be some unpleasant estates, but mine's lovely

jellyhead

Tiddlywinks wrote: »

How about "reproducing another money making opportunity" instead of "breeding"?

Or, "reproducing another little person who will become someone else's responsibility".

Or just "I don't care 'cos it's me human rights innit"?

I hate the term 'breeding' It's so disrespectful towards the children. They're not animals

If OP works and her husband was on a good wage then those extra children would not have been a 'money-making' opportunity. She mentioned his wage being 37k I think? Combined with her wage that probably meant no tax credits.

Becoming solely responsible for extra children is a bit of a shock, and she'd like extra room for them to play, have their own toys, keep their clothes etc ... it's quite natural to want that, I think. Even buying a bed for the extra child I've taken in has been a financial burden, and finding him secure space for his 'stuff' in a room where my son had already spread out, and he's the most messy child you can imagine, has been tricky in the short term.

Tiddlywinks

When you have children who are with another parent, you always need to do the "what would happen if...." planning.

Having 6 children and then not accepting that you have to take responsiblily for that yourself is what sticks in my craw.

lily76

MrsE wrote: »

I don't think it's shocking to become a grandmother @ 50 or even a couple of years younger as I am.
I could understand eyebrows being raised at 30 something year old grandmothers.

I think it is cool to be a grandmother in 30's as long as we can give children the basic living and safety need. when I was young I couldn't afford a baby so we had to postpone the baby plan. I one day met a shop owner who had two children at the age of 19 and 13, but she is only 38, and she looks like she is only 26! If her elder son has a baby then she is a very young grandmother.

lilymay1

I don't think I know anyone with a mortgage anything like £400 a month. £1400, perhaps.

£400 a month rent is also exceptionally cheap and for a 3 bedroom house almost unheard of. But I suppose if the OP has lived with council rates all her life she wouldn't be aware of what private renters pay.

Having said all that, it is morally acceptable to live in heavily subsidised council accomodation when your husband is on £37k and you're also earning. I don't know....