Council would rather I put 2 children in to care!!

seven-day-weekend

lilymay1 wrote: »

I don't think I know anyone with a mortgage anything like £400 a month. £1400, perhaps.

£400 a month rent is also exceptionally cheap and for a 3 bedroom house almost unheard of. But I suppose if the OP has lived with council rates all her life she wouldn't be aware of what private renters pay.

Having said all that, it is morally acceptable to live in heavily subsidised council accomodation when your husband is on £37k and you're also earning. I don't know....

My son's mortgage is less than that. It is actually less than if he were to rent the same flat.

duckeggblue

OP should look to getting a larger house, definitely speak to shelter.

jellyhead

balletshoes wrote: »

if the OP is in London, yes thats cheap.

Outside of London (ie where I'm from) those figures of £400 are not unusual for a mortgage for a 3-bed house, council rent would be around £400 a month for the same house, and private rent would be just over £500 (we have a mix of all 3 on our road).

I've never considered social housing to be a moral choice to make, its a roof over your head, just like all other options.

Wow that's cheap. In my town (in the Midlands) you couldn't rent a 2-bed for under £500, and certainly couldn't buy a 2-bed for that much.

So here, a 3-bed council house is under £400 pcm in rent, which is a lot cheaper than paying over £600 in private rent. It's definitely worth getting a council house if you can. But I don't think it's a 'moral' choice. Council housing isn't means tested, and the OP's mother would have been allocated the house at a time when anyone could get a council house for the asking, and reasonably expect to stay there forever.

Besides which, rent is so high here that even on a wage of 37k I bet you'd get LHA if you were in private rental with 4 children, and certainly with 6, so OP probably has no moral qualms about staying in a council property.

LannieDuck

nearlysorted wrote: »

Ok, I am picking this post to quote from although I have had many replies, some more helpful then others.

At no point have I said we are struggling to support them, or begrudge doing so.
Dh's ex doesn't even have bus fare to take ss to his hospital appointments, so, no, we do not get any maintenance from her.

Dh's old job was a 90 min commute in the morning with a 2 and half hour commute home, and I can work up to 15 hour days which involves shift work, and I have no control over what shifts I do on a weekly basis, and with fuel costs, it was more logical for him to take part time employment, again, this was with advice from child services.
Ss, has medical issues as well as behaviourial issues along with being very behind at school,.
Dh's ex had told the school that dh was not on the scene, this is despite the fact that he had called the school on many occasions, they assumed the only "father" around is her now ex boyfriend, who has also taken custody of 2 of his children.
She has also conditioned the boys to lie to us, whenever we ask any questions about school or home.
Dh also contacted child services with regards to their care many times going back about 8 years. Child services contacted her, and also told her that Dh had reported her.
Ss's old school also contacted child services about the welfare/appearance and lack of attendance of all of her children,


Just to clarify, we have not made any decisions with regards to what is best for all concerned, without consulting the schools or child services. We will budge up and make room. It was a hope that we could make a stressful situation a little less stressful.

I'm only really responding because you chose my post to reply to; people have already said what I'm about to.

You say you're not struggling to support them... so I don't understand why you've posted. I thought you were struggling to provide a big enough house for them (housing children is part of supporting them). But if you can do so yourself (either by moving to a larger property or by building your own extension), what has this thread been about?

To give my position, I have one child, and mine and OH's clothes are all stored in her nursery because we don't have space in our bedroom. When we have our second, we'll have to move to a bigger house. We accept that as part of having a larger family, and we're planning for it. At no point would I ever consider that the council should build an extension for us.

FatVonD

A small, second-hand caravan for the older boys would be cheaper than a summerhouse and comes already with built-in storage and probably beds, just run a power cable from the house.

LannieDuck

I've been thinking about the negative responses OP has had (from me as well as others) on this thread. I think it may be down to the title of her thread and her opening post.

The problem she describes is not of the council's making. The fact that they won't build her an extension is not a terrible, terrible thing. And it's completely unfair to suggest that they would prefer to put two children into care rather than having them live with loving family members.

The council have said (in my opinion quite reasonably), that having a council funded extension is not a potential solution to this housing problem.

I think the way OP has tried to blame this problem on the council rather than accept it's a problem of her (and her OH's) own making, goes someway to explain the reaction MSE has had. I think she would get a rather different reaction if she posted a new thread explaining that she's unexpectedly having to take in OH's two children from a previous marriage, and could the MSEers suggest how she can make it work, given the limited space in her house.

balletshoes

LannieDuck wrote: »

I've been thinking about the negative responses OP has had (from me as well as others) on this thread. I think it may be down to the title of her thread and her opening post.

The problem she describes is not of the council's making. The fact that they won't build her an extension is not a terrible, terrible thing. And it's completely unfair to suggest that they would prefer to put two children into care rather than having them live with loving family members.

The council have said (in my opinion quite reasonably), that having a council funded extension is not a potential solution to this housing problem.

I think the way OP has tried to blame this problem on the council rather than accept it's a problem of her (and her OH's) own making, goes someway to explain the reaction MSE has had.
I think she would get a rather different reaction if she posted a new thread explaining that she's unexpectedly having to take in OH's two children from a previous marriage, and could the MSEers suggest how she can make it work, given the limited space in her house.

I agree - but to be fair, the OP has asked those questions, in that manner, later on in the thread. It was the title and the first post that had me thinking the OP was being a tad unreasonable, but from later posts I think she is asking how to make it work with what they have.

one-non-blonde

shellsuit wrote: »

We could have them share, but I don't think a 17yo boy and 4 yo boy can share, and daughter certainly can't share with one of them.

I'm interested in why you think your daughter can't share with either of them? My daughter is 18, son is 17 and they've shared for the past 9 years. I know other families who have had to do similar. Of course it's not ideal and they don't particularly like it but they accept it and just get on with it. I installed a makeshift partition at the end of last year so they do have some degree of privacy now, but up until then they were in bunk beds.

It doesn't help when people raise eyebrows at the situation and view my son as a potential rapist. :mad:

shellsuit

one-non-blonde wrote: »

I'm interested in why you think your daughter can't share with either of them? My daughter is 18, son is 17 and they've shared for the past 9 years. I know other families who have had to do similar. Of course it's not ideal and they don't particularly like it but they accept it and just get on with it. I installed a makeshift partition at the end of last year so they do have some degree of privacy now, but up until then they were in bunk beds.

It doesn't help when people raise eyebrows at the situation and view my son as a potential rapist. :mad:

They all want their private space. Either of the older 2 couldn't sit and do whatever they wanted to do with the little one trying to sleep.

As for my 17 yr old son and 15 yr old daughter sharing, they'd rather stick pins in their eyes. How are they both meant to have their privacy? It might work for your children because they've shared for so long and weren't older teens when they started to share.

I don't mind for one minute giving the bedrooms up for the kids, it won't be forever, plus neither my husband will miss a bedroom. We literally used it to sleep in, so it makes no odds were we sleep, so long as we have something to sleep on.