son not wanting to move away

Blacksheep1979

Just saying from my personal experiences of originally going to uni and living in halls I went out more and met more people than going back a few years later and not living in halls.

holstar

it also depends where in the city you live compared to where the students tend to live. If you live more out towards suburbs or the other side of the city than where the halls and other student accommodation is, he'll find it much harder to maintain as good a social life than if you live near all the students.

It also depends on how good a relationship you have with him...will he feel able to waltz in drunk at 6am and attempt toast-making, or staying out all night, if he's still at home? If your relationship with him means you still want him in by a certain time or contact every time he decides to stay over at a friends or whatever, then that could get restrictive for him, if the people he's with have no such parental worries.

Could he live in halls for the first year, and then move back home for later years if he so chooses? First year is when most people get involved in their clubs/societies and make friends that tend to last...so maybe a year of halls and then possibly moving back home might be something to consider.

Hope he ends up happy with whatever he chooses

Oldernotwiser

Surely the most important thing is for him to find the right course and university for what he wants to do? If that happens to be within travelling distance of home then he can consider his options for living, otherwise he's going to limit himself considerably if he only looks at courses nearby.

I work with so many mature students who often have little choice where they study because of domestic responsibilities; it seems a shame for someone of 18 to restrict himself for no good reason..

lotties_mum

Thanks for all you're replies. We've had a chat and he has decided he'd like to live away but also quite near home. Cardiff seems to be his favourite at the mo, and is supposed to be good for the course he is interested in. Also if he goes to a uni in Wales the welsh assembly help towards the tuition fees.

lellie

I think the people that stay at home really miss out - it seems to vary by area - where we live our nearest uni is cardiff but that's 40 miles away - there are a lots that go there - and I didn't want to because there were too many people from school and I wanted to meet new people.. Most people seemed scattered but there quite a few that stayed at the nearest unis of cardiff, bristol and birmingham. I was the only one in my year that didn't do a gap year to come up here to Manc.

lotties_mum

Some of his mates are having a gap year but he is not keen, He'd rather go straight to uni.

kr15snw

I stayed at home And I prefer it to be honest. I have kept all my old friends but have met new ones aswell. Plus I can get my washing done and can get a meal cooked for me And its sooooooooooooooo much cheaper! Most of my uni mates are jealous that I actually have extra cash, they wish they had stayed at home.

In the end it comes down to the main thing. Where is the best course for him? I had a choice between 3 different universities, one of which was here. Seeing as it was just as good as the others I decided there really was no point in leaving!

Oh and I still get to see my boyfriend every day

melancholly

kr15snw wrote: »

Plus I can get my washing done and can get a meal cooked for me

lol you have a very generous mum! people i know who stayed at home had to pay rent and do chores and at least do their own laundry (which i think is useful to 'train' people for independent life post university!)

Ytaya

If you're not within easy travelling distance of the university, then it can put limits on your social life to stay at home. Particularly at the beginning of term when you don't know people well enough to sleep on their floor. Also, it might be worth reminding him that if he stays in halls of residence for his first year, it's a kind of 'sheltered' living away from home experience - everyone's in it together and it's a bit insulated from the real world. He won't get that luxury later when he moves out and has to deal with it all from the get go!

University is as much a life experience as it is an academic one. Ultimately, your son should do whatever he's comfortable with, but he should make sure it's an informed decision

lechat

it works both ways, if he lived at home in first year, he could find his feet at uni slowly but surely, make some decent long lasting friends rather than most who have a lot of social going out friends, and relationships which are forced due to living in close proximity.. and then possibly live out the following year with them, whilst getting good study habits which seem to be lost in the transition between school and hectic halls life!

or he could get halls, if he doesnt like it live at home after the first term having met a lot of people, but i think its harder to leave the bubble of halls etc even if its not quite right for you, everything gets a bit blurred!

personally in hindsight i think i should have lived at home, got settled into the uni course whilst making friends and choosing exactly what clubs, and people were important to me and then built up everything around that, especially as it is much more financially viable. and then having matured a bit more and got to know ppl off my course better during the first year, been able to live out, nearer uni for the final year so id be closer in for doing placements etc

hes lucky to have choices, everything has its adv and disadvantages so its just choosing which lifestyle hed like best and acknowledging things may change he and he can always change his mind