son not wanting to move away

lotties_mum

My son is due to start uni in 2008,.He is not a mummy's boy by any stretch of imagination, He's been away on numerous school trips and had a great time.The point is he has decided he wants to go to uni in the next city and possibly live at home. I don't want to push him out but on the otherhand i don't want him to miss out either,any opinions gratefully appreciated.

3plus1

lotties_mum wrote: »

My son is due to start uni in 2008,.He is not a mummy's boy by any stretch of imagination, He's been away on numerous school trips and had a great time.The point is he has decided he wants to go to uni in the next city and possibly live at home. I don't want to push him out but on the otherhand i don't want him to miss out either,any opinions gratefully appreciated.

Has he talked about why he wants to stay close to home? It might not be because he's scared of the unknown, but because he's worried about how much it'll all cost if he does leave the nest.

Rikki

He is talking about a years time alot can happen between then and now.
Once he starts looking at courses and what the different universitys have to offer everything can change.

My son starts uni this year and he has grown up alot in the last year.

lotties_mum

leaving home financially isn't going to be a huge issue because we will help him out as much as we can, and we have looked into how much it would all cost so he wouldn't be any different to anyone else in that respect.

lotties_mum

I'm hoping that is the case, He is in the middle of his AS levels at the moment and we are going to start loking at universities in the next few weeks as they are starting to have their open days.

suffolkb

Studentphil was scared to move from home. I`m sure that you don`t want a son like that. Send him away and change the locks. It`s for his own good.

melancholly

lotties_mum wrote: »

I'm hoping that is the case, He is in the middle of his AS levels at the moment and we are going to start loking at universities in the next few weeks as they are starting to have their open days.

wait until he's been to a few open days (and if you can get him to go with friends rather than with parents a few times, that would also be good!) and then see if he still wants to live at home. once he's spoken to current students and seen the lifestyle, he may completely change his mind!!

3plus1

lotties_mum wrote: »

I'm hoping that is the case, He is in the middle of his AS levels at the moment and we are going to start loking at universities in the next few weeks as they are starting to have their open days.

Any chance of him going to open days with friends, as opposed to walking around with his parents? My school organised a couple of class trips - one to the main uni in our town and one to another good uni quite a bit further away.

Going to an open day can really change your perspective. I have to say, I did consider going to my home university because it was the best one for my major subject. I ended up going to a university with a lesser reputation for my subject, but a better reputation in general, purely because I thought I needed to leave home and get used to being independent. I'm very glad I did. I can now clothe and feed myself at 21 - what an accomplishment! :rotfl:

I sent off for a billion prospectuses when I was looking at universities - you can order them free off the uni websites. Might give your son a bit of inspiration?

By the way, what are his friends doing?

At my school, the majority of us ended up scattered around the country. At another school nearby, the majority of people ended up staying in the same town. (Well, there are two universities there, I suppose!) He might want to stay with his friends...?

But yeah, all you can really do is try to show him that there are other options out there. It might be that his home university is the right one for him - you just have to trust him to come to the right conclusion by himself.

Blacksheep1979

He will miss out on loads if he stays at home. He won't go on nights out as often, won't have as many friends etc. On the other hand his grades and finances will probably benefit.

Sharky!

It's a hard choice, but I'd say at least the first year must be away from home. If only for the experience of living somewhere else, and actually having to cook, clean, hoover, etc.

Also, it's important to be close to the on-campus facilities such as the library and any specialist equipment for the courses.

Tallulah22

Blacksheep1979 wrote: »

He will miss out on loads if he stays at home. He won't go on nights out as often, won't have as many friends etc. On the other hand his grades and finances will probably benefit.

I chose not to move away from home, i may be a bit older than the boy in question but i feel i am not missing out on anything. i feel just the same as my friends who chose to move to this city to study..

At the end of the day its his choice, and reagrdless of what he chooses stand by him..