out of work adult child

glitter_fairy

Treevo wrote: »

How old is she?

How much childcare and housework does she do for you?

19 now and she baby sits if we want to go out, will take them to school some times and does a good amount of house work but its not very high in quality but has been improving since i showed her how to do it

RAS

She gets £56 a week. £30 lodgings would be reasonable as that barely covers her food, certainly not her share of utilities.

She pays for clothes, phone and going out, or does additional work around the house. I would expect an older teen to help with house work, and some basic minding of other children as part of living in the house not in exchange for money.

So if she is in and you want to go to the pub for an hour or two, then that is part of living in a family. If you want to book a night out with friends, I would reduce her lodgings that week by £10.

Person_one

I've just remembered your old thread.

For the sake of welcoming this girl into your family, I'd say don't charge her. Not for a while anyway.

Brighton_belle

glitter_fairy wrote: »

19 now and she baby sits if we want to go out, will take them to school some times and does a good amount of house work but its not very high in quality but has been improving since i showed her how to do it

Well she's never been taught how to do it til you showed her so this is encouraging that she is open to being taught basic life skills and improves when shown.
I might take a small token amount but otherwise would echo Person_ones post above given the very unusual circs.
But do talk about her plans with her: that will shows you care and are interested and you may be able to help he understand the need to plan and be proactive in her future, if she doesn't have these skills already

RAS

Just gone back to the earlier threads and I would take less than I suggested but insist that she pays her phone and entertainments and insist that she put away £10 a week into a savings account so that if she wants something big she has some money. If she has not been taught to do house work then she will not have been taught to budget.

It looks like her "social" and "personal" capital is going to be very very low so she needs time to build that and may well behave younger than her age?

givememoney

Not quite the same but our son who still lives here with us (over 30) was out of work a few years back but still paid us each month.

We don't ask much but he said it is amazing how little you can manage on when you have to. Hopefully she is using the same strategy.

aridjis

It sounds like she is already contributing around the house. JSA is not very much money, I'd be loathe to take any off her, unless she really is eating you out of house and home or costing you money in other ways.

fluffnutter

glitter_fairy wrote: »

19 now and she baby sits if we want to go out, will take them to school some times and does a good amount of house work but its not very high in quality but has been improving since i showed her how to do it

Perhaps she might ask for payment for these tasks?

After all, a babysitter would cost you, as would a cleaner. If you want her to pay for board, perhaps she'll ask you to pay her for babysitting and cleaning

There's a serious point in all this... living together as a family is about give and take, and that includes finances. Unless you're really strapped for cash, I'd let her keep her dole money with the proviso that she's making every effort she can to find a new job and that she helps out where she can. There are times to expect a contribution from your adult children - nothing in life is free after all. But, more importantly, there are times when you just need your family to cut you a bit of slack. Here's hoping she finds something soon and takes you out for a decent meal to say thank you

marisco_2

I think it would be completely reasonable to ask your step daughter to pay some board. By living with you at the moment she gets to enjoy all the comforts of a family home, without having to meet the bulk of the expenses of running it.

As a young woman who hopefully in a few years, will be living independantly and standing on her own two feet, she should be happy to make a contribution. Have a chat with her and come to an agreement over the amount she pays, making sure she has enough to cover her basics and has a little spending money to keep in contact with friends and get to interviews etc.

gibson123

It sounds like she is not only contributing but she is also trying to improve her contribution, I would however take 1/4 of her JSA and save it in an account for when she leaves your home.