Should I......

Tenyearstogo

Errata wrote: »

Do you really want hanky panky with a bloke you've only known for 4 weeks? If he's up for it, he will have a history of doing that with many other women and you'll just be the latest in a very long line of women who can't keep their knickers on.

Based on your experience maybe.

ostrichnomore_2

Have a lovely evening and don't go into it with any definite plans; see how it all pans out and how you feel. Doesn't hurt to be prepared though - get some condoms, shave those legs, and remove anything embarrassing from the bedroom (no teddy!).

Timing is down to each couple. There will be some who think this is too quick for them, some who think it's too slow for them, and some like me who are like Goldilocks and think it's just right:rotfl:. It's no one else's business and he'd have to be a plonker of the first order to think any less of you because of it, in which case, no loss... I Can't stand the old double standard.

Timing wise, me and new bloke fooled around in bed on date 3 without going the whole way and then snuggled up and then' bingo' on date 4. Which was about one and a half weeks after we met. And it's all working out lovely and we think very highly of each other! He'd be highly upset if anyone suggested to him that he'd just been using me for sex, as Errata's post implies. He doesn't have that attitude and neither do I.

It's a bit weird, but exciting, to be with someone else after a long relationship. Just go with the flow, don't be shy, remember it's kinda nerve-wrecking for him too (probably worse, as men have all sorts of performance anxieties to deal with as well), keep your sense of humour, and if anything makes you feel uncomfortable or you want to stop/slow down/change your mind, speak up. A nice man won't mind in the slightest. I put the brakes on during dates 2 and 3 and he was fine with it, but if you want to go for it, do!

Person_one

Errata wrote: »

Do you really want hanky panky with a bloke you've only known for 4 weeks? If he's up for it, he will have a history of doing that with many other women and you'll just be the latest in a very long line of women who can't keep their knickers on.

This might shock you, but sometimes women don't even want to keep their knickers on! :eek:

System

See how you feel and take it from there, there are no fast hard rules so to speak, so what you're comfortable with

Not that i can talk..bf came back to mine on our first date and we couldn't keep our hands off each other (and he asked me out during it :eek: lol )

Albeit we've only been together just over a year but he certainly wasn't at it with anyone else..

ostrichnomore_2

Errata wrote: »

Do you really want hanky panky with a bloke you've only known for 4 weeks? If he's up for it, he will have a history of doing that with many other women and you'll just be the latest in a very long line of women who can't keep their knickers on.

I'm sorry if the men you've known have left you with such a low opinion of men in general. And of women who have perfectly normal desires. But while of course it's up to the individual and there's no such thing as taking too long, 4 weeks really isn't unusual at all to move things along. Even if it's the first date, it can work out well in the end as well (or yes, be a one night stand). We shouldn't be judgemental of other people.

LE3

Personally I wouldn't, because I don't think 4 dates is anywhere near long enough to get to that level of intimacy with somebody, but if you feel it's the right time for you then prepare for it, but don't force it, just see what happens

geoffky

4weeks..My wife abused me after a few hours. But we had known each other since school..

tayforth

OK, my tuppence worth.

Everyone is different. And most people have different 'timescales' with different partners, depending on how long you've known them before you get together, how much you're attracted to them etc.

For me, I probably couldn't sleep with someone so early on. But that's just me and what I'm comfortable with. I take sex pretty seriously and see it as an expression of love. I know , that's really old-fashioned. But it's the way I am.

I'm just out of a horrible, abusive 7-year relationship - I met him in my 20s. I have no idea what the future holds for me. The idea of 'dating' doesn't appeal. I'd rather get together with someone through mutual friends, work, shared interests - whatever. And, if I did, perhaps I'd sleep with him sooner if I already knew him well enough to have deep feelings for him.

By the way, I certainly wouldn't expect a man to think less of a woman who slept with him quite quickly - that old double standard went out with the ark, surely!

paulineb_2

OP, I couldnt believe you were asking it either to be fair. To be honest, its totally your call. Some people might think its too soon, some people think not. But its your life and its up to you what you do.

Of course the only thing about starting a thread like this is that people will be wondering if you actually did the deed or not.

tayforth

paulineb wrote: »

OP, I couldnt believe you were asking it either to be fair. To be honest, its totally your call. Some people might think its too soon, some people think not. But its your life and its up to you what you do.

Of course the only thing about starting a thread like this is that people will be wondering if you actually did the deed or not.

Of course we'll all want to know! Oh, please do tell afterwards OP