Being bullied at hospital.

izzy65

OP, I am one to usually sit on the fence, as I have only heard your side of the situation but no one should feel this bad, have you a KPA, assuming it is hemo dialysis your on, you could at least request a representative from them to attend with you and act as a mediator, I am not going to make a comment on who's in the wrong but the way forward is for both sides to be able to air their views with a hope of finding a resolve that means you can continue to recieve your needed treatment..

lostinrates

izzy65 wrote: »

OP, I am one to usually sit on the fence, as I have only heard your side of the situation but no one should feel this bad, have you a KPA, assuming it is hemo dialysis your on, you could at least request a representative from them to attend with you and act as a mediator, I am not going to make a comment on who's in the wrong but the way forward is for both sides to be able to air their views with a hope of finding a resolve that means you can continue to recieve your needed treatment..

Even were the fear or 'shunning' entirely in the OP's mind that in itself might be a medical cause. I agree with what you are saying, and have seen myself other patients be horribly rude and uneasant.


Fwiw, my mother was rude to a nurse during the start of a day procedure when I took her in and when the nurse had left I said to her that even in her anxiety there was no need to be short to people. She apologised on the nurses return (only because she had been challenged I am afraid) and the nurses were SO fantastic, their attitudes could not have been kinder. When my mother was finished all the nurses came and hugged her and there kindness blew through the rest of her nerves and made her pleasant to deal with...and she is not an easy woman!


I get extremely nervous, but am more likely to be arch and polite than 'snappy'. Then I cry. I am ashamed of it but I weep when I feel scared in medical situations. I actually enjoy procedures if I can 'disconnect, its interesting to see what happens, but I hate being told that my symptoms are not how I feel them (only I know how I feel and I have an atypical presentation on a particular thing and it frustrates me when I am told I cannot be having the symptom I have in the way I have it).


OP, I hope this week goes a bit better. Stay strong, gather evidence (in itself this may help you feel stronger ) and seek help at the same time. Do whatever you need to do to remain in treatment. Is there another hospital within reach to which you could be transferred/referred if you really feel unable to continue going there? Just don't stop going!

geoffky

Why did you not record this?
As people on nearly every post have told you..
Until you do you will get the same attitude..
You need evidence otherwise they will blame everyone and everything but themselves...Your choice...

IHD

Hmm some of you seem to doubt me. Fair enough, like you say two sides to every story. Can you please then tell me the other side to being given a drug i shouldnt have had, reporting it ,then being refused to be given my treatment? Anyway difficult for some people to believe until it happens to them and thats your right. However i have made an official complaint today and waiting to see what happens next. Thankyou for your support and for the doubters well im sorry you think i possibly provoked people or brought this upon myself. In general most of the nurses like me , there are just a few that are making my life hell. Probably because they cant do the job properly and i had the nerve to report that . Oh and just for reference i know my treatment inside out and back to front ive been doing it for ten years. So ive done my research and learnt as much as i can in that time. Ive actually trained up and passed with flying colours the parts of my treatments im allowed to do, but protocol prevents me from doing it all and there is no home option for me.

SuzieSue

IHD wrote: »

Hmm some of you seem to doubt me. Fair enough, like you say two sides to every story. Can you please then tell me the other side to being given a drug i shouldnt have had, reporting it ,then being refused to be given my treatment? Anyway difficult for some people to believe until it happens to them and thats your right. However i have made an official complaint today and waiting to see what happens next. Thankyou for your support and for the doubters well im sorry you think i possibly provoked people or brought this upon myself. In general most of the nurses like me , there are just a few that are making my life hell. Probably because they cant do the job properly and i had the nerve to report that . Oh and just for reference i know my treatment inside out and back to front ive been doing it for ten years. So ive done my research and learnt as much as i can in that time. Ive actually trained up and passed with flying colours the parts of my treatments im allowed to do, but protocol prevents me from doing it all and there is no home option for me.

I don't think anyone is doubting you at all. I think everyone really feels for you.

You haven't said if you have contacted PALS at all?

meritaten

I don't doubt you at all IHD. my son went for his pre-surgery checkup today and the nurse got really stroppy with him! all because he answered 'severe brittle asthma' to the question 'Do you have any pre-exististing conditions'! it was flagged on his notes - his consultant knew he would have to consult the anaethietist - so to berate him because one wasn't arranged is awful! a case of no-one reading the notes again methinks! (this happens almost every time he needs surgery). but this nurse got really angry with him!

IHD

Sorry yes ive arranged to talk to someone from PALS. Ive also gone ahead and made a formal complaint at the hospital. As for the doubt, its just that some people said there two sides to every story, that made me think i wasnt giving them the whole picture or i had been rude to the nurses. Maybe i just read it wrong , im just worn out, sorry.

meritaten

There are some people on here who wont accept that nurses can be in the wrong. just like there are racists or leftists or rightists. MOST of us have believed you and tried to help. ignore those who doubt you. Do you what YOU think is right. and if that's recording or filming your experiences then do it. Because without that evidence its YOUR word against the 'establishment'. not an individual nurse - complaints are perceived as against the Trust so unless you have irrefutable evidence they will dismiss it.

LittleBoots

IHD please don't take offence at the two sides to every story comment, I'd hate to think we live in a world where we automatically believe everything we are told. This is not meant personally to you, but it's important to remember that it is only your side we are hearing.
I think you have done the right thing by talking to PALS and making a formal complaint, there are bad nurse out there as there are bad people in every profession and if things don't get addressed/changed then neither will they.
I'm sorry you are having this extra stress too.

Clutterfree

Dear IHD,
I am sorry you are having such a hard time at the moment but I would like to play Devil's Advocate if I may?
Firstly, I would just like to point out that I am in no way saying this is true of YOUR situation, I am just trying to show another side to a story like yours...

"I have to attend hospital three times a week, every week, for my kidney dialysis.

It's a small, friendly unit and, once the nurses have started us on our treatment, they try to keep the atmosphere light by chatting and having a laugh. It is much appreciated by the patients as the unit is essentially our 'second home' so it is nice that the environment doesn't feel as clinical as it could.

However, there is this one patient who seems to take exception to the fun and I am aware that she has made several complaints about the nurses. I don't know if it is because she feels she should get priority over the rest of us, but we are all going through the same treatment and we don't make unecessary trouble for them.

Just the other day she was rude to a nurse and told the nurse not to even speak to her!
Nurses shouldn't have to put up with such rudeness and the said nurse asked a colleague to finish hooking her up to the machine. This patient says the nurses don't do their job properly and she knows better than them as she has been doing it for ten years!
This patient appears to believe she knows best and then seems surprised when the nurses interact with her as little as possible. The nurses are walking on eggshells around her. She even asked all us other patients to back her up last week after being rude to a nurse!

As I said, I come here three times a week. I just want to get on with my treatment in a relaxed and happy environment which, thankfully, it generally is..."


As I said, I'm just playing Devil's Advocate and I am not doubting what you say is happening to you but there are always two sides to the same coin.

If all the patients feel the same as you, then the NHS is failing you all terribly and I hope you can get it sorted quickly through the relevant channels as you cannot stop treatment.

However, if all the other patients are happy in the unit, perhaps a small misunderstanding between you and the nurses has built up to become resentment on both sides. It is not professional for the nurses to show that kind of attitude to a patient in their care but they are human too and personalities will clash in all walks of life. It does need resolving and resolving quickly, though.

With regards to the wrong treatment being given, it happens - it is not acceptable but the medical profession are fallible too just like the rest of us mere mortals.

Please don't think I am being flippant, as that is not my intention at all.
My father is also on dialysis three times a week. Last year he was given the incorrect medication which resulted in him being hospitalised for a week. Did he complain? No. His consultant apologised for the error and believe me it was a big error. What more could he do than apologise and be more careful in future? Dad accepted the apology as it was not done deliberately and he has to have an ongoing relationship with the hospital. Of course, he had every right to complain, as do you.

Anyway, I sincerely hope that you can get everything resolved to your satisfaction and it is all sorted quickly.
All the best.