Feel like crying

catewithers

Dithering_Dad wrote: »

All the threads that I create are filled with love, have you not noticed that? I think it must be me rubbing off on everyone.


EDIT: hmnn, that sounds a bit rude. I mean't my personality, not actually me physically "rubbing off". Hmnn, better stop there before I get into trouble.

p.s. you can tell I'm "on the mend", I'm back to doing my daft posts again

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Toto

Dithering_Dad wrote: »

I'm always getting you and Toto mixed up, when I realised I'd done it again with that post I had to dash in quick and edit it with the (Private joke Snaggles) bit.

This will also explain why you got the confusing PM the other day discussing the stiletto heels, yellow washing up gloves and latex trousers.

And I thought I was the only woman for you (apart from the baying hellhound)! And where was my PM about stilettos and latex? You're getting a toto evil look now, and as Mr toto will tell you, that's a scary place to be.:D

Dithering_Dad

Oh no! All my secret MSE love trysts are coming apart before my very eyes! Curse my lousy memory!

chevalier

Hi DD
What a situation to be in. Are you as parents getting any support? Tell you a story, my DS1 was a beautiful baby, still is even tho' he is nearly 6! But when he was 8 months old, we found out that he was severely allergic to cows milk. It was a total shock - having your little boy with his mouth swelling up and not being able to swallow was terrifying. We had more tests and he is allergic to egg too.

The reason why I am telling you this is because I had a bit of a grief reaction. I was mourning the fact that my son had changed. His life wasn't going to be as normal as other children's. He is still allergic to milk and it is hard on him sometimes.

If you Lu is only 4 then you may still have some grief issues to deal with. In the hectic round of meetings, appointments, and just living with the day to day challenges, you may not have been able, either of you to do this. Which might be one of the reasons why what your little one has said has caused you so much soul searching.

I would echo another poster who said that school can really make a difference. It is as much about seeing how other children do things as about the learning she gets from teachers.

Ref the nappy thing. Like others I am appalled at the school, but perhaps also you can see if there is a special needs advisor at social services, who can help with toilet training?

Ref Mrs DD getting a break etc and you too, did Lu go to a nursery? If yes, then how about going back there and seeing if one of the nursery employees would come and babysit? They would already know Lu, and what her issues are, and they would be trained too. Ok you would have to pay them more than a non trained person. But it might be worth looking into?

As regards the being away thing. I am curious as to why you feel the need to pay your mortgage off asap? Is it so you can throw more money at saving for Lu's future? I would say that you will be surprised how well in the future she does for herself. Especially with the two of you to fight for her. So maybe easing back a little is the way to go?

Best of luck with it, and i am so glad you sound so much more positive today
chev

Penny-Pincher!!

Hi DD

I havent read the whole thread, so this may have been mentioned With the level of care/support your DD needs, I would assume she would be entitled to DLA...it is not dependant on income and will pay for the extra bits she needs.

PP
xx

pastatwists

How bad is your daughts dyspraxia, my son has it and he is 13, took us ages to get him diagnosed in fact was only diagnosed in last year of primary school, but fortunuately with the right help and a great teacher managed to get level 5's in his sats, got extra time and everything. Has now gone to a mainstream comprehensive and is doing really well, just a case of making sure that the school know what there dealing with and keeping on top of things. Anyway just wondered if this would help as in will she really need a private school. I am aware that as exams get nearer he will probably need extra tuition but that a lot less money than private school. Know this because brother send daughter to private school, there not always as good as they seem, check your schools out in your local area. Hope this helps.

Alison

maryb

DD, I feel for you as a fellow ditherer. I, too feel I have to stash the cash while I can but want to pack it all in, now!!

For what it's worth I think you are doing the right thing. It will give you choices later on which could make all the difference to your precious girl.

If a recession comes in the next year (which looks quite possible) you will have much more peace of mind if you feel you did everything you could while you could

no-one can take your education away from you and giving her the best you can is going to make her life better for her whole lifetime even when you can't be there to help her in person. She will know it was your practical way of showing your love and care for her

sciencegirl_3

Hi,

rather than paying for private schooling which may or may not deliver what your daughter needs - does anybody think there might be mileage in researching special needs provision in the LEA of other areas?
Maybe rent out your house (paying the mortgage) and renting somewhere more conducive to her education so that you don't have to work away so much?

I know that is not ideal but you never know your luck it may be somewhere closer than you know?

Postcode lottery and all that...

SG
XXX

boadicea_2

Hello DD - I'll add my tuppenny's worth. Feel free to shut me up any time (Boadi reaches for soapbox).

I trained as a physio and part of my training was with special needs children. The sooner Lucy gets professional help with her dyspraxia, the better: at 5, her brain and body are still maturing, and therefore a lot more malleable that they will be when she is older. In most cases (provided, of course, that they don't have a degenerative disease) children do better the younger they are when they get that treatment. By all means fight for all the help you are entitled to, but don't let that battle delay you getting Lucy appropriate help and treatment, the earlier she gets it, the better for her in the long run.

I can imagine how hard it must be, but I would have no hesitation in continuing to earn the money for as long as you and Mrs. D can stand it - you will need cash to help her, it's sad but it's one of life's realities.

I think it's absolutely appalling that the school would leave Lucy in her soiled clothing. I don't care how busy they are, there is more staff at any school than just one teacher and if she couldn't leave a class she should have got someone else to help :mad:

Going slightly off tangent, please don't you and Mrs. D forget that, as well as parents, you are a couple and deserve time and space - you will need it to draw strength from in order to look after Lucy the best way you can. Look after yourselves as well - some of the parents couldn't/didn't, and wound up ill themselves through stress. Great idea about the Nanny thing, good luck finding one.

Mrs. D carries a heavy load at the moment, as she does most of the day-to-day caring for Lucy - but that would be far worse with no money.

Finally - can I be really nosy and ask what area you work in? I obviously made a wrong career choice somewhere but I'm sure that can be put right :rotfl:

susy_2

Hi DD, I'm sorry to hear of your problems. Can I pm you?