It's all gone wrong....new house 2 months

dancingfairy

O.k so you had a silly argument, she's disappeared and you threatened to put the house on the market and she's now contacted the estate agents.
Firstly you need to get hold of the estate agents and tell them you are not selling for now and cancel their visit. Don't waste their time (and your time).
Secondly you need to send a grovellingtext to your girlfriend, tell her how much you love her and say you want to talk.
You then need to let the dust settle. Give her time and space.
Hopefully once you have both calmed down you can sort things out in a mature sensible way. I would expect it to be several months before you even conteplated selling the house if things really had broken down that much.
Give yourselves time to make sensible decisions.
df

browneyedbazzi

I agree with the posters above - I've been with my partner a lot longer than you've been with yours and we're planning to buy a house later this year. If he ever said 'if you don't behave the way I want I'll sell the house' my first move would be to find somewhere else to live without him...threats are just a no-no in my book and not something I'm willing to live under the cloud of (my ex was controlling and used threats and it took me a long time to wake up and get out of that damaging relationship, so if I see a sign of things going down that road again I'd run a mile).

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

I think you've just been dumped.

Don't ever threaten to put somebody on the street just to get the upper hand in an argument.

She's bailed. Probably looking for somewhere to stay right now and seeing the solicitor first thing Monday morning.

bryanb

carl_t wrote: »

bought a nice new house with my partner.

Does this mean she is a joint owner?

DeeDee74

WOW bought a house together within a year thats very quick,.
to be honest reading your first post id have done the same. What are her trust issues over ?

neverdespairgirl

carl_t wrote: »

The worst thing is , I said if its going to carry on like this I will sell the house, in the heat of the moment. The next morning I had an email from the estate agents saying they are coming round on Tuesday. As you can imagine I wasn't happy about this.
so my heads gone a little and I'm very upset.
any comments guys?

Yup, you need to learn the number one lesson in arguing.

Don't make idle threats. The other person might call your bluff.

Saying something like that to a partner is really nasty. Either you were both being horrible and childish, or just you were. Either way, you need to grow up.

fluffymuffy

I think this about self-respect.

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

fluffymuffy wrote: »

I think this about self-respect.

And she has enough of it to realise what she'd lose if she were to stay any longer.

pinkshoes

If she walked out, disappeared for days, and hasn't even bothered to let you know she's safe, then she clearly doesn't have a lot of respect for you!

She sounds like a bit of a loon! Let me guess - low self esteem so she has issues with trust??

If it's this bad now, then £15k loss is nothing compared to what could be a lifetime emotional rollercoaster.

She sounds like she's clearly not ready for a relationship, let alone the commitment of buying a house!

pinkladyof66

The fact that she has gone and not been in touch for days seems strange to me you are in a relationship and have a house together she should be more adult about it. To just go and do this after an argument seems odd. I think tbh if this is the way she is going to react then maybe this relationship is doomed and you are best out. Everyone has their arguments and may walk away for a while but for days NO that is not right. She does certainly seem either a nutcase or maybe she has thought she got in to quick and now seen it as a quick escape and is not coming back. Is the mortgage in both names or just yours. That could well make a difference in what happens. I am assuming that as she has contacted an estate agent it is in her name aswell.

I think to act like this and get an estate agent involved i think she has cold feet and intended to get out quicker and she thinks she has made a mistake. This is not normal behaviour from a couple in love.