What mainstream things do you NOT allow your children to do?

thorsoak

fluffymuffy wrote: »

They had that rule at a nursery I used when mine were little. I noticed some boys using plastic bananas instead...

...you can remove bananas, but you can't remove fingers.....:p

OrkneyStar

Frith wrote: »

Only 4 or 5. But plenty more from outside of school (friend's children, neighbour's children etc).Unfortunately when he was at a mainstream primary school he didn't receive the best treatment from the teachers either which made his classmates think they had a free rein with him. But that's a whole other thread!

I also did a couple of joint parties for my sons and invited everyone in their school years (small, rural primary!), as their birthdays are close in the year but smaller son was only ever invited to 2 classmates' parties.

Compare with bigger son who got invited probably to 15 different classmates' houses whilst at primary school.

Fair enough. Was just curious.
The thing is kids often react quite normally to special needs kids, it is the parents that, intentionally or not, put barriers up.
I tell DS that some kids are different, and that doesn't mean you can't be friends with them, but also that if any child (special needs or not) hits or is aggressive then don't put up with it, either don't play with them or tell a teacher if it is more serious. Not saying your child does this, or tarring with a negative brush etc., just speaking honestly.
Kids like to interact too, not sure exactly what your child's needs/issues/whatever word you prefer! are but sometimes if children don't interact the way the other child expects it can make them less interested in playing. Also some children will have more adult care around them (e.g. a one to one in class or whatever) and that may put some kids off playing with them too.
Parenting, who said it was easy!?!

ash28

zaxdog wrote: »

No it's not. Trick or Treating came from Guising a traditional Scottish practice that people who emigrated to the US took with them.

Nor is it "begging", traditionally children tell a story/joke, do a dance etc and are rewarded with a few sweets,apple, nuts in their goody bag.

Glad to say it is still alive and well where I live and lovely to see such a tradition continuing with the bigger kids taking the wee ones to the door. We had some crackers last year

We live in a village and have done for 18 months or so.

We moved in October 2011, just before Hallowe'en. Grandson who is 11 now lives with us.....we bought a few sweets "just in case". He had just started the village school after the October half term and one of the boys in his class asked him if he would like to go trick or treating with him. We said he could go (help him make friends etc)....in our old house he wouldn't have been allowed.

Hallowe'en is quite a big thing here...virtually the whole village takes part...I was a bit stunned the first year...running round in headless chicken mode trying to get more sweets....if they could walk the kids were out (with their parents who were often dressed up too).

We had carved pumpkins in our window, a sign that anyone was welcome to knock...most people put something either in their front window or garden to indicate it was ok to go to the door. If the curtains are closed and there is no light or decoration the door doesn't get knocked. I'd never seen so many decorated houses...apparently it's been like this for years. The pumpkins are relatively new they used to use swedes years ago. It's as colourful as Christmas.

Last year I spent hours making cup cakes with orange icing and icing spiders, witches hats, broomsticks, skulls all in black of course...then made up little bags with a cake and a couple of sweets....lots of people do something similar and put quite a bit of effort in for the kids. And it's lovely.

There is an elderly couple who put a box outside their door full of stuff for the kids and surprisingly the kids only take one each....in our last house if someone had done that they would have taken the whole box....and that was in a very nice middle class area...I guess the difference is that kids are brought up using "honesty boxes" here. I often send GS down the main street for eggs...they are kept at a front gate in a little hutch with a box to put the money in....70p for 6 free range eggs....and people don't abuse it.

Even the local shop puts a big dish of sweets on the counter.

It's all over by around 8pm and the kids absolutely love it. The grown parties afterwards aren't too shabby either.

marisco_2

raq wrote: »

Does any parent not let their children play with special needs children in the school playground or outside school?? I bet there are a few on this website.

Why??? that is how I feel as my son is special needs and they SNUB you at our primary mainstream school. So tiny things liking smoking, and certain things on t.v. to me are way down my list.

Manners go hell of a long way in my eyes.

Sorry just had to be said

I am so sorry to hear that this has been the experience of yourself and your child. I teach at a school and we go out of our way to make sure that every single child, regardless of their individual needs, feels included and valued. No child should feel isolated whilst at school.

It may be worth your while speaking to your sons class teacher and raisng with him/her your upset. The school could do all kinds of things to overcome this problem. They could build teaching inclusion and empathy into PSHE lessons. His teacher could introduce a buddy system within your sons class. The school SENCO could look at setting up small groups to teach children interaction and social skills etc.

Dont put up with the current status quo, address it with your childs school and make sure they hear you and take your concerns seriously. Your son only gets one shot at his education. Children who do not feel happy or relaxed in their school environment, do not settle and learn to their full potential.

ash28

Bluemeanie wrote: »

I disagree. I consider it begging. You are of course, entitled to your opinion though.

In our village it's a big event ....and not only for the kids. When we lived in "suburbia" the very thought of Hallowe'en was off putting and I hated it. However since we have moved we no longer dread it....the kids aren't rude and they are so excited - especially the tots.

ciderwithrosie_2

They were never allowed to take food up to their room - eat/drink it downstairs or go without. Unless they were (rarely) poorly and needed a drink

Not go to bed without having a bath/shower and clean teeth

Not allowed to play down by the river - like some of their friends were - not like the shallow, babbling rivers I grew up playing in in Wales, this one has steep banks, slow moving so clogged with weeds and too isolated to get help

Not pick their noses - I really can't stand to see children do this and the parents ignoring them (mind you lots of adults do it anyway) Same goes for spitting.

Oh and no fireworks bought ever! might seem cruel, but had a nasty incident as a child and to me they are just an accident waiting to happen and a complete waste of money. Don't mind watching them on TV though.

butler_helen

Bluemeanie wrote: »

Not relevant to the thread as such, but I've avoided the maternity wear that say things "hands off the bump" etc. I just don't like them. Went to Mothercare for some maternity clothes and I found a lot of their stuff had slogans etc written on.

I hate those tops too. I find buying maternity tops very difficult. I just want nice plain summer tops with space for the bump, no stripes and no slogan. I'm fussy!

I have no children but they won't be trick or treating here, going to soft play areas (I've seen the chaos in our local one) or playing out on the street (it's not safe here). I don't mind them spending time with any other child, they choose their friends and I hope they have a wide variety.

I spent many school years being asked by adults/children if I could keep my sister (with learning difficulties) away from them/their child. She was just a bit rough and wanted to join in. I hope my children would never be as mean as some people were to her.

Molly41

Bluemeanie wrote: »

Oh yes, I won't have that it's asking for stuff/begging! And another Americanism thing along with prom and baby showers!

We live in a family orientated area and have our decorations out for Halloween. My kids (now late teens, early twenties) used to love it and now we love having the youngsters come round for their sweeties. I dress up to give them their sweets and always very polite and say thank you.
I used to go round with my kids and the etiquette is that you only call at doors with a decoration and not after 8.30pm. Kids have a lovely time and really enjoy sorting through their loot. I used to put it away and ration it out though.

Manners was always very important and i am regularly complimented on my kid's manners. My sons and DD always hold the door open and without fail gives up their seats on buses. Please and thank you!

Sugar and fizzy drinks is difficult - I used to keep them to the minimum but when kids went to secondary school it became out of my control.

Smoking - we never smoked in our family, All four of mine are now smoking either socially or more regularly. It breaks my heart - I think it is more down to peer pressure.

Looby_-_Lou_2

I have a horror of trampolines. I would happily ban them from going on them but that's seen as a criticism of others parenting.

So they know they can only go on with one other child of a similar size and not loads of others or anyone much larger or smaller.

Other than that most things in moderation but no tvs in the bedroom and no trick or treating!

notanewuser

butler_helen wrote: »

I have no children but they won't be trick or treating here, going to soft play areas (I've seen the chaos in our local one) .

Wait till you have a 2 year old. Softplay turns from scary death trap into total heaven. Provided you go during school hours, of course!