Wedding dress code

duchy

I'm really surprised at some of the reactions here.

This isn't really about wearing cream to a wedding -it's about the OP meeting most of her BF's family for the first time and presumably caring about what impact she makes on them as she doesn't know how traditional their views are . It's generational too-the bride may not care (although I know lots of younger brides who would) but her mother/aunts/grandparents might -Not worth the risk IMO. I'm a great believer in wearing what you like....but I wouldn't risk my first introduction to an important BF's family just on the principle "I'll wear what I like"..... and be forever thought of as the girl who had no idea to dress for a wedding and upset the bride ...or worse her MoB-zilla

anderson8

One of my friends wore white to my wedding.
Didn't bother me in the slightest, her dress was knee length and mine was a cathedral train length full wedding dress.
Plus I was obviously the most beautiful women that day:)

Wear the dress

lostinrates

daisiegg wrote: »

I am so surprised at all these responses. I got married a month ago and offhand I can think of at least three women who wore cream/ivory to my wedding (and one of them was lacy). I really could not have cared less and certainly didn't worry about them being mistaken for the bride...after all, I had a big train and a veil! My best friend also recently wore white to a wedding and the bride didn't mind....in fact, the bride helped her choose the dress!

I think this is a lovely attitude, but the post does surprise me from you, not because its lovely, far from it, but because I think i recall our husbands work in similar (City) environments, environments where sometimes the 'right' form can really count. It's almost certainly never mentioned to the person where their faux pas was but some will always remember it. They are times where rocking the boat might be seen as fresh and innovative and other times where it will be seen as not being able to be respectful or a team player. This is one of the latter I think.

I repeat my point about it not just being what the bride thinks but what other people may think that can unknowingly impact on your future. (Sometimes love life, sometimes friendships or even career, depending on the wedding).

Finally...most guests will not know what type of dress the bride is going to wear. A shorter day wear style white or cream dress may look different next to a cream lace wearing wedding guest than a big veil and full gown.

To be absolutely clear, while I do prefer to stick to 'form' on these sort of things at my wedding we only had two guests and they and my husband wore jeans! (By chance all three also wore similar jackets) and i didn't wear white or cream! So I am hardly a stick in the mud about it. But I prefer to give myself every chance in life to be open to positivity and I think this is a fairly easy observance to make.

Beautiful cream or white dresses are worth owning for other summer parties and functions though!

Ruby_woo

When I married my first husband I decided on a simple cream dress, not a huge meringue mainly as he had been married before and his first wife died of cancer so we just went for a more simple wedding. My mother in law saw my dress and bloodly well went out and bought a pretty much identical cream dress and wore it to the wedding! Everyone commented on it and I was gutted tbf.

Yes, you guessed it....the marriage didnt last she was a !!!!! from hell. Oh the stories I could tell but I would be here all day lol.

Luckily both me and ex husband are re married and happy but she is still single after being married several times. I have no intention of ever seeing her again apart from her funeral to make sure she is definately gone. She still causes trouble now through my son...

Steer clear from a cream dress IMO it's the brides day. Although I tell from your posts you're a lovely person and not in it to cause trouble lol.

Happy days xxx

Mojisola

neverdespairgirl wrote: »

I'd assume, for a wedding, unless told otherwise, no cream, white, black or very dark grey / navy, no massively short skirts or a neckline that might have someone's eye out. More "elegant" than "sex bomb", really.

This is worth considering. I know someone who paid out to have a lot of her wedding photos photoshopped to take out one guest who looked more suited to street corner at night than a daytime wedding!

anderson8 wrote: »

One of my friends wore white to my wedding.

Didn't bother me in the slightest, her dress was knee length and mine was a cathedral train length full wedding dress.
Plus I was obviously the most beautiful women that day:)

Wear the dress

It comes back to the "not knowing the bride and her family" issue - I didn't have a traditional wedding dress and, if a guest had worn a white or cream dress, she would have looked more like the bride than I did. I would have found it funny rather than be upset but not everyone would react like that!

I would normally say "do your own thing" but it's not worth upsetting people who may become your in-laws on your first meeting.

Hermia

I did once go to a wedding where the bride was totally upstaged by one of the guests. The bride was wearing a simple white straight dress and unfortunately a guest wore something very similar. The bride was a rather plain lady in her 40s and the guest was a gorgeous young woman with an amazing figure and in every photo the guest totally dominates. The poor bride almost blended into the background. I was told that someone even thought the guest was the bride! Not every bride is a stunner who will be the centre of attention so I can't help thinking you should stay away from dressing in a similar way.

Claree__x

Two of my cousins wore white to my wedding, they knew the style of my dress though so definately didn't clash (I had a full length lace effort) but I would, as almost everyone else has said, err on the side of caution if you don't know what the bride is wearing.

koalamummy

Am I the only person who did not actually notice what any of our wedding guests were wearing? It really wouldn't have bothered me anyway as I was too busy willing the day over after the first 10 minutes! (We are still married 15 years and three children later coincidentally!). Not every bride revels in the greatness of their wedding day, the bride here may be the same. i was wondering if you have your asked your OH how he thinks his sister would feel about your choice of dress?

Nicki

I'm finding the posters who are implying that a bride would be unreasonable to object to anything a guest wore, and those who are saying wear what you like and stuff the bride both a bit :eek:

The brutal fact of the matter is that no one will notice what the girlfriend of the bride's brother is wearing unless it is massively inappropriate for the occasion. Therefore just about any dress from any high street retailer will be suitable unless it is in solid white, cream or black, and it is highly unlikely that the only dress any guest can buy for the day falls into these categories.

The only reason why anyone would choose to wear cream to a wedding (unless they are like OP completely unaware of normal conventions on the subject) is to attract attention to themselves and therefore also to detract attention from the bride. At least be honest enough to admit it, rather than pretending that it is the bride who is in some way at fault for preferring that these colours be avoided. Just because some brides might not mind, or not be wearing this colour themselves, doesn't make the brides who do mind in the wrong.

NewHome13

If I were you I'd play it safe. You don't want the bride to be furious with you for wearing a cream dress and never forgive you for it!