Lending money to friends ?

Kayalana99

Just be honest, he has already said to you if its no it doesnt matter...say something along the lines that you vaule his friendship and wouldn't want to put money in the way of it no matter what the circumstances and even if you are not using the money right now you do have plans for it in the future and want it readily avaible for when you do.

victory

Scrapaholic wrote: »

Thanks to all for your replies . All of the things said by you we've said ourselves . Yes , it's a bit distasteful that it may be paid back from an inheritance . We only think it's this because we dont see any other way that £10,000 could be repaid. We could be wrong , but don't think so . Yes, parents could outlive the person or leave it to the dog shelter . DH didn't ask what it was for as he said he'd ask my opinion re the loan and I wasn't there .
Jimmy the Wig , we had planned to invest it . At this point we're ok and don't need it . The person knows this so can't use that as an excuse . Wouldn't like to lose it for ever though as we've got family we could give it to if we knew we weren't going to see it again ! May have to work out something along those lines of an excuse , don't know yet . Don't know why they haven't gone to a bank , as someone said. Just don't know why they'd ask us . DH was taken aback by the question . I know we don't know their financial position but they have a lovely home , nice clothes and car but no plans for a foreign holiday this year ! It's on our minds a lot at the moment . Not one person so far has said to go ahead and lend the money . We really don't want to do it .

What you do with your money is your business, you never have to justify how you spend/save whatever you want to do with it whether they know you don't need it just now or not, it is your money, your choice, your decision, say no

BJV

As you know not one person on here has said to do it. £10,000 is a lot of money and if your think your friendship may be strained now think about how bad it would be when you never got your money back? Or each and every time you had to ask for it?

If you are really good friends why not help fill out an application for a bank loan? Above all be honest !

Gra76

I'll be your friend if you lend me £10,000 as well....

I once lent my 100% trusted best friend of the last 20 years £3,000 on the proviso that he paid it back in full the week after when a cheque he'd been given from the sale of one of his cars cleared. I got it in writting. I got him to swear on his life he wouldn't make me wait more than a week.

It took months of nagging and months of awkward conversations to get it all back. It started out as "Oh sorry, the electricity bill came in higher than we expected" and it went downhill from there. He'd always find something else more important that he'd spend the money on (like going out, like a few new things around the house, like new alloys for his car).

Basically there's no way in hell I'd lend money to anyone again. All the promises in the world don't mean a thing when push comes to shove with money.

Tell your friend that you think they'd be better off approaching their bank and that you're not comfortable loaning out money, regardless of the amount.

bagpussbear

Definitely no! Just too many things that could go wrong, and you'd be the ones that suffer.

This_Year

Scrapaholic wrote: »

We really don't want to do it .

There's your answer.

fluffymuffy

Scrapaholic wrote: »

... we don't know their financial position but they have a lovely home , nice clothes and car ...

How many other people have they borrowed £10,000 from?

smartpicture

Never lend more than you can afford to lose, that's the bottom line. If you could happily carry on without any resentment or bad feelings or difficulties if you never got it back, then fine. Because chances are, you won't.

And I say that as someone who has lent significant money to several friends and family and never seen it again.

Oh, and when you said you thought you would lose the friendship if you said no - my experience is you lose the friendship when you say yes, because they start avoiding you or lying to you or resenting and blaming you for putting them in this situation. Laughable, but true.

olibrofiz

I'd say don't do it too.

I tend to go by the rule that I would only lend money to a friend if it was an amount that I wouldn't be overly bothered about if I didn't get it back.

So £20 and if I get it back, I'd lend it again.

But 10,000 - not a chance, however good a friend they were

EDIT: posted the same time as smartpicture!

CH27

Cheeky blighter :eek:

Don't lend him a penny.