Lending money to friends ?

System

If this person was a true friend he wouldnt put you in this position in the first place. Just say no!

LittleMax

Never lend what you can't afford to lose as there is always the possibilty that you won't get any of it back. If i was in your shoes I wouldn't lend to this friend, and if I was in your friend's shoes I wouldn't have asked. I would be worried about the reason for needing the money and not having the means to pay it back.

However, I am very saddened to read the number of posts that have lent to family and not had them pay it back, even close family, siblings and children. I borrowed £15k from my parents last year in order to buy our house, there was never any question of my not paying it back, my parents have also acted as guarantor on loans for me when I was much younger. Putting myself in their shoes, I presume they considered if I didn't pay it back it would be written off as inheritence I'd had early.

What I do know is that even asking my Mum and Dad took me a lot of courage and I felt really bad when the mortgage adviser told me I would have to get them to sign a letter saying the loan was a gift. I have now paid back half of the loan and I am on track to clear it in another 8 months, and they keep telling me I can reduce my monthly payments and just pay back what I can afford as and when. But I am too disciplined to do that and don't want to take advantage and be in anyone's debt ... it's the way they brought me up ;-)

I think I always knew I was fortunate to have such a good relationship with my parents, but reading these comments has reinforced it. It makes me want to be trusting of everyone, but I know not everyone is trustworthy, sad but true.

Saturnalia

justme111 wrote: »

You could have looked at it as an opportunity to see he was not that good a friend.if someone is flakey is better to see it and money can be a good touchstone to find out ..

I would agree with you if it's a fiver for bus fares, £50 till payday, you lend that and don't get it back you've learnt a lesson. £10,000 to be paid back "whenever" is a high-stakes gamble though.

gazzak_2

Guess what? Another person saying absolutely NOT. It ALWAYS ends in tears as you've seen from the board.

If the subject is raised simply say "we won't be lending the money", and that's the end of it. Refuse to ever discuss it again. You need to let them know in no uncertain terms that it's not happening, not even the slightest hint of it happening. If I had a friend asking me outright for a loan then they'd not be a friend.

Pixiechic

No, I wouldn't lend them the money either. I would feel that it was a bit cheeky to put you in that position knowing that you had sold your house and were going to have more funds.

I could quite easily say that 'I'm sorry but I have already planned investments and don't feel comfortable lending that amount of money to anyone, nothing personal'. I would leave it at that and if they choose to be funny about it, then breath a deep sigh of relief. You made the right decision!

Just because they have asked, you shouldn't feel bad for saying no, it's perfectly understandable.

If they are waiting for an inheritance then that is distasteful beyond belief!

fluffymuffy

To be honest I'd be phasing that "friend" out of my life.

*Robin*

Everyone is unanimous - very unusual on MSE.

Glad you've decided not to entertain your 'friend's' idea, OP.

(Another strident No! vote here).

scooby088

I loaned my sister two grand, never saw it again but on the other hand she never saw the car I am now driving.

First rule I live is never lend any money whether it be a fiver or ten grand, good on you OP for not lending it to your friend.

PoorCharleyBear

A resounding NO from me too.

we loaned some money to friends as a 2 week stop gap between buying and selling their house. We got it back but they no longer speak to us.

We loaned a huge amount to my niece for 12 months...2 years later we had to threaten legal action before it was reluctantly paid back by her parents. We no longer speak due to her appalling behaviour.

Never again.

Scrapaholic

We're definately not going to lend the money . We do feel it was wrong to put us in that position . Not something we'd ever do to any friend . If the subject is brought up DH will say that we've made plans to invest it and then change the subject . Thanks all .