Lending money to friends ?

justme111

l
I been known to lend friends money, from a couple of hundreeds to a couple of grands, a few times, different friends, for short periods of time (under a year) so did not even think about charging them interest. All but one ( the very first one )returned money with thanks and some tokens of gratitud. So its not as if I put money before friendship. With it,
Lend money without a set return date, £ 10000 ?
for no specific purpose?
with him having possible inheritance in the future as means to repay? -
Absolute madness

Purleygirl

Just to throw this into the mix your friend might be a gambler. I know this sounds odd, but my brother was a secret gambler for many years before we found out. He's nearly run out of people from whom he can fleece money from, he owes my family about 3k, he owes my other siblings about the same. He will never pay it back. Just be very careful, 10k is a huge amount of money. You are unsure, so err on the side of caution. Tell him you've had a rethink, pretend you have an overdraft to pay off, a card to pay off etc and some other things you'd overlooked, then change the subject.

bright_side

I lent a (then) really good family friend £300 towards a deposit for a flat about 10 years ago. I was a single mum of 2 and it was my entire rainy day fund. We were really close and it didn't cross my mind for a second that he might not pay it back. He paid back £90. Haven't seen him in around 7 years. It took a long time for me to get over his lack of respect for me and my children. Never again!!

justme111

You could have looked at it as an opportunity to see he was not that good a friend.if someone is flakey is better to see it and money can be a good touchstone to find out ..

Loz01

If they can afford to pay interest I would be directing them towards the nearest bank for a loan!!

persa

I would give money to a friend, I wouldn't lend money. And I can't afford to give away £10k!

Brallaqueen

Been there, done that, still haven't got the money back.

Netwizard

smartpicture wrote: »

Never lend more than you can afford to lose, that's the bottom line. If you could happily carry on without any resentment or bad feelings or difficulties if you never got it back, then fine. Because chances are, you won't.

And I say that as someone who has lent significant money to several friends and family and never seen it again.

100% this. I have lent money to trusted friends before (although nothing like the sum in the OP) and never got it back.

I was probably gullible to think I would get it back, but its a lesson learned that's for sure.

OrkneyStar

NO
NO
NO
NO

x

troubleinparadise

This person overstepped the friendship boundaries and put your friendship under strain by asking in the first place - so put away any feelings of yours that you would upset the friendship by refusing.

If you find the straight answer NO too difficult to say (ask yourself why you might feel that!) just say the money has already been committed elsewhere, although that is still continuing the emotional blackmail game you need to step away from.

Simply, if it makes you feel uneasy, don't do it. You are under no obligation to buy friends, and someone who does that to you isn't a friend you need or want.