Wife not interested in £££ - OK?

bugslet

When Mr B was at home ( now in residential care), he took care of certain things and I took care of others - it suited us.

That aside, I find myself in the position of not having any family at all, so have had to think ahead to take care of the mutts if nothing else ( well it's important to me).

I have a close friend, whom I trust, and she holds an envelope with literally every policy, account number etc ( yep, that is the defiintion of trust and obviously not a decision I made lightly and it;s too long and tedious to go into it all as to why I am comfortable), so that if I shuffle off, she can arrange things on my behalf. She is also executor of my will and has Power of Attorney should the worst happen.

The point is that if I can lay things out for someone in one piece of paper that isn't involved in my day to day life, then it must be fairly simple to say to herself that, 'If anything goes Pete Tong, all the paperwork is in X and this envelope here, is the master document'. She might not be interested now, but if you have to be then you have to be! She obviously trusts you, which is kinda sweet:)

jackyann

I don' think there's any problem in principle about dividing jobs - and if you have young children, both work etc. then there isn't enough time to do other than divide the work as it suits.
This is a different situation to the old "husband takes care of everything and wifie doesn't worry her head with it".
I think it makes sense to write down the basics "just in case" but also make an agreement to inform each other of major issues, and certainly as you get older, share decisions more.
I think that say, in retirement, it makes sense for each to understand the other's "jobs"

anotheruser

Although I am mainly in control of our finances, my GF knows what is going on and what accounts we have. Most are in my name.

I don't understand people who are "together" but they live separate lives. Why not have a joint bank account? But then I guess those people are also the ones who see marriage as not important.
So in realistic terms, the partner could walk away at any point (although that's a plus for having your own accounts), where as marriage should be a life long commitment which you chose carefully.
Unfortunately many people make bad choices and get a divorce.

But anyway:

Have you asked your wife why she is not interested in the finance side of things?
If it bores her, well she will have to lump it as things I have to do bore me but I don't not do them.
You're in a relationship therefore surely you want to intertwine your lives and grow together rather than keep everything apart like you're simply living with a friend?

mandragora_2

I take a polite interest. He has everything written down on a spreadsheet, with everything detailed, a/c nos. where to access things in the event of him falling under a bus. Neither of us is big spenders (though of the two of us, he is more profligate than me), and I've been the main wage earner for most of our married lives. When we were first married we both looked at every penny, but once we bacme comfortably off, the rows about our slightly different spending 'tempos' slowed down and then stopped - and if I'm working the long hours and doing the stressy job, and he takes responsibility for that side of things, it seems to work ok. As I say, I noticed a couple of years ago that it did bother him that he felt the burden of accounts handling was all on him, so I do look at it, and I do take an interest. From time to time I look at it very closely - it always tallies - and he always spends more on his sports hobbies than I think he should, but if that's the worst of it after nearly 30 years' marriage and two kids raised and making their own way in the world, it's not really a deal breaker!

Pennysmakepounds

It's nice to see a real family ethos (is that how you spell it...lol ) when it comes to money.

Far too often i hear 'HIS money' and 'MY Money' and it amazes me that if you love someone and are married to them with kids that you still have that mindset.

seven-day-weekend

Goldiegirl wrote: »

As others have said, there's no harm in playing to your strengths.

I do the finances in our house, mainly because I've always worked in banking, so I'm used to figure work and admin. I don't find it a chore, I like it. However, we do discuss large purchases and make joint decisions on major expenditure.

I've made notes about all our accounts etc, so in the event of my demise,he will have somewhere to start.

My husband does things like decorating, which I'm no good at.

We are comfortable with the split of tasks

Same here,I deal with the finances, always have, although we do discuss savings/spendings together.

My husband does the diy.

markelock

+1 same here. Sometimes I wish I had an evil hobby that I could fund without her knowing.

sadly I don't even get time for 9 holes of golf...

goonarmy

racing_blue wrote: »

Bit of advice please.

My wife shows absolutely no interest in financial matters. She works full time and doesn't like to spend money as a rule. She is 100% into our kids, her job and has other interests - but money is not one of them.

So I basically run our household finances - pay all bills, make all decisions. I used to make comments from time to time along the lines of "do you think we should save X/ take insurance against Y?" but she always glazed over really quickly, so now I just do it.

Our wages go into a joint account & I take over from there.

For big spends like her car or holidays, we will talk over what sort of thing we want, and then she will go and choose something with the budget I suggest.

One of my concerns is that if I get hit by a truck, she will have absolutely no idea what and where our assets are- I guess I need to spell it out in a document somewhere? The other concern I have is that I'm not sure this is a particularly healthy way to run a modern family's finances. I also feel quite a responsibility not to screw up.

Any views? Is this an OK situation or do I try to change things?

Im the same and happy to be so. Pressure is high but manageable.

Weequine

Clearly you are unhappy with the situation as it stands, otherwise you wouldn't be posting. Talk to her

BroZz

I agree with posts similar to Weequine, my mrs is very similar and I had to effectively just force it upon her. As you say, should the worst happen she should know.

Failing that, I also keep a spreadsheet (I feel compelled to because I work with spreadsheets..) which details everything that comes in and out, when and how much disposable income we have a result.

Maybe it'd be worth organsing a spreadsheet, it's not only a good way to keep yourself organised but it'd make it easier to see what's going on at a glance.