Divorce. How can I agree a fair settlement

justme111

clumsymoo wrote: »

Not once have I mentioned 80/20 or part of his pension or a house mortgage free. I live in London so I couldn't buy a garden shed mortgage free

You said you will not be able to get a mortgage and need 3bed and need to stay in the area because of children. So how else can it be interpreted other than wanting to be mortgage free in a 3bed house. You mentioned his pension a few times , why if you did not want it to be included ( by the way it looks fair to me it should ). If you sell the house for 240 my guess was a 3bed house in the area would not be any less than 180 and so you would need 70% of it to get it mortgage free.

Kayalana99

justme111 wrote: »

You said you will not be able to get a mortgage and need 3bed and need to stay in the area because of children. So how else can it be interpreted other than wanting to be mortgage free in a 3bed house. You mentioned his pension a few times , why if you did not want it to be included ( by the way it looks fair to me it should ). If you sell the house for 240 my guess was a 3bed house in the area would not be any less than 180 and so you would need 70% of it to get it mortgage free.

Justme - Stop winding the OP up. Although some of your posts have been informative you are just pulling figures from your head now to make your story legit...and its not helping anyone and is infact just annoying OP

OP - I think this thread is way past being helpful, I think you need a good talk with your husband and you need to decide if your going to accept a 50/50 spilt or go through courts (as by sound of it he isnt going to take any less willingly) but do consider what others have said as ofc solictors are going to make out your allowed more because they want to be hired...yet if you want to try then I wish you all the luck but honestly think from esp what others have said you'd be lucky to get more then 50% as kids are now grown...as for your 30k inheritance I have no idea ...maybe your husband can see reason on this since it was left to you by your family and im sure they wouldnt want to see half of it gone in a divorce to someone that wasnt family..

clumsymoo

I said I'd need a 2 -3 bedroom I am quite prepared to take a 2 bed if I can afford to and sleep on a sofa bed in the livingroom.
I mentioned his pension because someone asked me that question.
A 3 bed house in my area is roughly £320k to buy and £1,200 PCM to rent.

Thank you Kayalana, I think you are right. This thread is past it's use.

Thanks to those who have offered impartial advice. Some of it was useful and some as much as a chocolate teapot!

justme111

Well , she has a choice whether to read this thread at all , my replies in particular and whether to get annoyed at them. And with all due respect , I do not think it is your place to tell me what to do .

[Deleted User]

Treevo wrote: »

I think you're running the risk of appearing to want to screw him over because you think your savings should be yours alone.

You're not in the best position here. If he wanted to he could make your life very difficult by going after 50% of everything which could leave you in the position of having to choose to be able to house yourself or sell your mother's home.

You need to sit down and make a list of all of your assets. And do the same for his. Don't try to hide anything because you'll be found out eventually.

I am the OP's sister, so thank you for all who were helpful. This is a very emotive subject so I will try and remain calm and not badmouth my bil too much, although I can assure you he deserves it on so many levels.

Treevo I am intrigued by your comment re: our mothers home. How on earth could he have any claim to either benefit or sell the house that our mother lives in, owns 50% of and will remain in until the day she dies (which I hope will be many years from now)???

Our father died and left 25% each to my sister and I, we will receive no financial gain until such time as our mother passes, so how could he (or their divorce) force the sale of our mothers home?

regards

princeofpounds

Our father died and left 25% each to my sister and I, we will receive no financial gain until such time as our mother passes, so how could he (or their divorce) force the sale of our mothers home?

It very much depends on how this has been structured legally.

If you and your sister do actually own 25% each of the property then there is every chance that one 25% share counts as matrimonial assets in a divorce.

He could then end up with a 12.5% share, assuming that every individual asset is split 50/50, which is not necessarily how things will be done, but to keep the 25% share whole you would need to give up something elsewhere.

He can than apply to a court for an order for sale. You are not typically allowed to 'trap' the capital of one person and he has a good chance of getting the order, although this may not be a straightforward case and will depend on the details.

You will then have to either buy him out or put the house up for sale.

On the other hand, it may have been structured in a different way, such as some kind of trust. You and your sister may not actually own it, but may be beneficiaries of the trust at some point in the future. Then there is a good chance it will not be considered a matrimonial asset.

To find out exactly where you stand, it's a legal advice thing unfortunately.

Thegirl

My views on the split, you start at 50/50% of all assets and work backwards from there. So yes, the monetray value of the house you mention you own 25% of would be included as an asset, your inheritence, both your pensions, his savings, expensive jewellery, stocks, shares etc. All of them get assigned a value and are added into the marital pot. Then you and your husband or a court decide on the split, but with virtually grown up children it starts at 50/50%.

Reasons that might count towards you getting a greater than 50% split, your reduced career progression as looking after the children. The ability to earn in the future. You are recovering from cancer and are currently employed part-time, him self employed and presumably with accounts that show how much he earns. Just because the children are grown up doesn't mean that any disparity on furture earnings will not be considered. It will.

First things first, tot up all that you think you both own, see how much and what a 50% split would give you. Then work out how that leaves you financially. Until you know that a solicitor telling you that you will get more than 50% is, frankly, ballderdash. Because it's fiction. I'll simplify for the point here, his pension could be worth £1 million. If that monetary value was split then a 50% split that would probably be fine for you both.

Do the sums, investigate wikivorce, which is a mine of information, pose the question there and get some well informed feedback. But with the information you currently have, it's impossible to provide a truly informed answer.

Good luck for the future.

Treevo

goochie wrote: »

I am the OP's sister, so thank you for all who were helpful. This is a very emotive subject so I will try and remain calm and not badmouth my bil too much, although I can assure you he deserves it on so many levels.

Treevo I am intrigued by your comment re: our mothers home. How on earth could he have any claim to either benefit or sell the house that our mother lives in, owns 50% of and will remain in until the day she dies (which I hope will be many years from now)???

Our father died and left 25% each to my sister and I, we will receive no financial gain until such time as our mother passes, so how could he (or their divorce) force the sale of our mothers home?

regards

The 25% that was left to your sister is a marital asset. The same as the marital home, savings and pensions. You can't look at your sister and brother in law as separate entities when they've been married for as long as they have. They are one unit. What's hers is his and what's his is hers. It would be treated in exactly the same way as any other property owned by the couple - it's essentially an investment that will pay out in the future. One that only exists in its entirety because he worked and paid the bills so it could be kept. Same principle as the £30,000 savings. They would have almost certainly been used up if he was not working and paying the main bills.

Depending on the value of your mother's house - to keep it from being sold or bought out - your sister will probably have to give up half its value in other assets. Which - again depending on the value - may mean she loses the opportunity to be able to buy another house outright. And she may not get any help with rent because she technically has somewhere to live. Even if it is with your mother and her husband.

As I said before I don't envy your sister's situation. But you must realise that she is in a much better position than your brother in law. He doesn't have twenty five years of his working life left. That may (probably) offset the differential between your sister's future earnings potential and his in the court's eyes. I think your sister will be incredibly lucky to get 55% of the marital assets. But that would come with a significant legal bill. Her best bet would be to go into mediation with a 55/45 proposal and be prepared to accept a 50/50 split after a little negotiation. It will keep the costs down and it will be fair. Which will go a long way to keeping their relationship civil in the long term.