Divorce. How can I agree a fair settlement

clumsymoo

I am currently married with 2 children, aged 17 just starting a 4 yr apprenticeship and a 20 yr old with 2 years left at Uni. Both are living at home and will be for the foreseeable future.
My OH and I are beginning to divorce and I have been advised by my solicitor to try and sort out the division of finances ourselves if at all possible but just how do we do that?

We have a house to sell and I have about 30k in inheritance money saved.

OH thinks everything should go 50/50 but my solicitor has said not necessarily and he would have to prove that he has need to claim any of my inheritance.

Problem is when I try to talk to OH he just goes off on one saying I am trying to screw him over.
I'm not, but I do have to make sure that I can provide a roof over our heads for me and the kids. I only work part time at the moment and am recovering from cancer.

so.......where do I start? 70/30 60/40 ? What constitutes as a fair split? that's before we even start with Pensions and the like.


I'm a bit lost as basically whatever I suggest he won't like.

His any one been through family mediation in a similar situation? Was it useful.

I'd appreciate any advice.

Thanks
Clumsymoo

Imp

I would have thought: start 50:50 (everything, house, inheritance, pensions, savings etc.) and be able to justify any deviation from this.

neverdespairgirl

When did you inherit the money, and who from?

clumsymoo

My Dad, he died 8 yrs ago

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow

your husband is entitled to 50% of the marital assets, including any savings you have, regardless of where those savings came from.

If you go to court there is a good chance the judge will award 50/50.

Mediation might help and would definitely be cheaper than solicitors.

Can I ask why you think you shouldn't have to split the assets equally?

nearlyrich

Does you soon to be ex work full time ? Is there a difference in what you can earn compared to him? Who has what in pensions? How old are you both? Lots of questions don't answer if too intrusive but these things are relevant to make a reasonable suggestion. Often in a divorce each party feels wronged by the other so it is quite emotive...

neverdespairgirl

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow wrote: »

your husband is entitled to 50% of the marital assets, including any savings you have, regardless of where those savings came from.

I don't think inheritance during the marriage is a matrimonial asset, though.

kingfisherblue

clumsymoo wrote: »

I am currently married with 2 children, aged 17 just starting a 4 yr apprenticeship and a 20 yr old with 2 years left at Uni. Both are living at home and will be for the foreseeable future.
My OH and I are beginning to divorce and I have been advised by my solicitor to try and sort out the division of finances ourselves if at all possible but just how do we do that?

We have a house to sell and I have about 30k in inheritance money saved.

OH thinks everything should go 50/50 but my solicitor has said not necessarily and he would have to prove that he has need to claim any of my inheritance.

Problem is when I try to talk to OH he just goes off on one saying I am trying to screw him over.
I'm not, but I do have to make sure that I can provide a roof over our heads for me and the kids. I only work part time at the moment and am recovering from cancer.

so.......where do I start? 70/30 60/40 ? What constitutes as a fair split? that's before we even start with Pensions and the like.


I'm a bit lost as basically whatever I suggest he won't like.

His any one been through family mediation in a similar situation? Was it useful.

I'd appreciate any advice.

Thanks
Clumsymoo

Although the starting point is likely to be 50/50, a lot of factors have to be taken into consideration. For example, did you take time off work to bring up your children, meaning that your career (if you had one) did not progress as far as it would otherwise have?

Have you always worked part time, so that you could be the primary carer of your children?

Do either of you have pensions?

Are there any joint savings, stocks and shares, or any other assets?

Do either of you have debts, and if so, are they in joint names or individual names?

Have you been separated before deciding on divorce, and were any loans or credit agreements taken out after the original split (my ex raked up £25k of debt after we split but before the divorce went through, but I was able to prove that all loans, a credit agreement for a car, and credit card debts were all after the date that he had left, so I was not responsible for any of his debts. The only debt from the marriage was on his credit card, for his car insurance, paid a month before he left - he had to pay that too).

Not the same topic exactly, but have you informed the council that you are no longer living tint he same house? You should get a 25% discount as a single person, although you should also check on whether your younger child needs to pay anything as an apprentice 9full time students are exempt).

Fire_Fox

clumsymoo wrote: »

I am currently married with 2 children, aged 17 just starting a 4 yr apprenticeship and a 20 yr old with 2 years left at Uni. Both are living at home and will be for the foreseeable future.
My OH and I are beginning to divorce and I have been advised by my solicitor to try and sort out the division of finances ourselves if at all possible but just how do we do that?

We have a house to sell and I have about 30k in inheritance money saved.

OH thinks everything should go 50/50 but my solicitor has said not necessarily and he would have to prove that he has need to claim any of my inheritance.

Problem is when I try to talk to OH he just goes off on one saying I am trying to screw him over.
I'm not, but I do have to make sure that I can provide a roof over our heads for me and the kids. I only work part time at the moment and am recovering from cancer.

so.......where do I start? 70/30 60/40 ? What constitutes as a fair split? that's before we even start with Pensions and the like.


I'm a bit lost as basically whatever I suggest he won't like.

His any one been through family mediation in a similar situation? Was it useful.

I'd appreciate any advice.

Thanks
Clumsymoo

Mediation is a good idea I found it helpful when I divorced, both get basic legal advice first. You'd be better buying him out of the house if you can, you won't get benefits with £30K in the bank, it will be gone in no time.

clumsymoo

If I thought I could buy him out I would to give the kids as much stability as poss. I am seeing a mortgage adviser next week and will have a Clearer picture. I am 43 and he is 52 he gave up his very well paid job and re trained to be an electrician and is now self employed. I took 10 years out to stay a home and raise our children by mutual agreement.

clumsymoo

We both have pensions although his will be much bigger than mine